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  #1  
Old Mar 26, 2025, 05:05 PM
AnaWhitney AnaWhitney is offline
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It is really hard for me to open up about my CSA to my T.
Sometimes she tries to help by self disclosing things in a brief way, and has said that she also has complex trauma. I don’t know if this means she has the same disorder as me (cptsd) but what she is sharing sounds nothing like my experiences and the more she shares, the more I think she doesn’t understand.

I know that she is telling me to try to make me more comfortable to share but she’s actually making me feel like a bad person, one of those awful people who thinks they get to decide what is and isn’t traumatic for another person.
I have wanted to outright ask her when she talks about having trauma like we are the same, if she has actually had CSA in her past, or has cptsd, because if not, then she doesn’t understand my experiences and shouldn’t act like it’s the same as hers.

I don’t want her to change as I generally love how she operates as a T, but this has been making me feel really bad lately and like I can’t bring it up without minimising the experiences she has shared for my benefit. I know there are different types of trauma, but I can’t help thinking now that the word must be overused in general.

I dont know if I am being too sensitive.
I feel like a bad person. My T would never minimise or judge me like I am currently doing to her. It’s affecting my ability to connect with her and making it harder for me to share my experiences and I don’t know what to do.

Thoughts please anyone
Hugs from:
ScarletPimpernel, unaluna

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  #2  
Old Mar 26, 2025, 05:08 PM
Therapy reviewed Therapy reviewed is offline
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Sounds like whrn a child is mate to parent the parent.. This is why Ts shouldn't share.. Its your therapy not hers.. shes put herself in the centre of it.. I'd remind her you're there to talk about you.
Thanks for this!
AnaWhitney
  #3  
Old Mar 26, 2025, 05:13 PM
AnaWhitney AnaWhitney is offline
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My T is a bit different to other Ts I’ve had but that works for me and I’ve made more progress with her than any of the others. She only discloses when she thinks it’s beneficial to me. It usually does help but not this time. She doesn’t know how I feel about this
  #4  
Old Mar 27, 2025, 01:58 AM
Therapy reviewed Therapy reviewed is offline
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So why do you think it's not worked this time if its worked other times?
  #5  
Old Mar 27, 2025, 03:56 AM
AnaWhitney AnaWhitney is offline
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Because my trauma is such a mindf*ck that has been isolating me from people my whole life.
  #6  
Old Mar 27, 2025, 06:51 AM
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LostOnTheTrail LostOnTheTrail is online now
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Hi Ana,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.
It's not on you to worry about your response to what she has shared.

I'm wondering how comfortable you are with applying the word trauma to your experiences.

The first few times somebody used it with regard to the most recent bereavement I experienced, it grated on me.

I've since come to understand that it's not so much about the experience, but the impact that it had on you.

'Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what you hold inside in the absence of an empathic witness.' - Peter Levine

If the way your T is approaching this makes you feel uncomfortable (on any level) then you are within your rights to acknowledge that.

Wishing you strength in the days ahead,

Lost
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'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

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'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
Thanks for this!
AnaWhitney
  #7  
Old Mar 27, 2025, 08:23 AM
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ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
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It’s was hard for me too when someone first said it. I ask L to do an assessment for PTSD. She confirmed, at least because of the test, that I do have PTSD. She believed that even before the test.

Do you feel that the diagnose isn’t your to claim? Like for me, I tell myself that my trauma is lesser than most people. Other people hurt more. But I remind myself that trauma is trauma. What I mean is that we are the same and we are different at the same time.
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Thanks for this!
AnaWhitney
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