[happyflowergirl]

I haven't seen him for awhile, but then again I haven't been going to the gym, so it has been months since the last time.
Today I went in I have lots of stress to work out of me.

Well today I walked in and went to the elliptical and then I noticed he was on the floor in the far away corner doing floor exercises, so I avoided looking his way. Well I noticed him getting up so I just ignored him while plugging in my info into the machine looking down, he makes a point to come all the way across the area to say hello to me.
Part of me was happy to see him but the part wanted to tell him off and tell him to leave me alone. I am NOT his play toy.

[Kiya]

((((((( hugs! ))))))

[happyflowergirl]

Sorry for saying I wanted him to go to hell. I talked to my T about this today. For one thing he(my old T) always said he would never initiate contact with a client or formal client , I would have to be the first to say hi or whatever. Well so much for that, he came all the way across the gym and gets in my face ( I was looking down at my Ipod) trying to ignore him and waves and says hello. I didn't initiate anything, I wasn't even looking at him. He even looked happy to see me, smiling ear to ear. IT kinda pissed me off, doesn't he know the hurt he caused me? We used to say hello to each other when I was his client, so maybe he thought it was okay. But that was 7 mo. ago.

My current T said he was probably breaking the ice. Well maybe, I haven't seen him in over 4 months. But I have seen him since I fired him at the gym, so I thought the ice was already broken.

I used to think the world of this guy, but now I see what he has done to me, and I don't want anything to do with him. What does he think now we haven't had therapy for over 7 months, he can sleep with me now or whatever? I know if I tell him to leave me alone, he will. My T says if he does this again, I should tell him.
What do you all think. I guess many of you don't know the whole story. But there was some serious attraction going on between us and I eventually fired him because it was becoming too personal and he lost his objectivitiy and I no longer saw him as my therapist so I couldn't do the therapy I needed. We worked together for 2 1/2 years.He never put a finger on me, but that doesn't mean he didn't cross the ethic lines in therapy. I wrote a poem about us on my blog.
Thanks goodness I have a very good therapist now. I don't need the confusion of a therapist in love with me. Maybe that is why I no longer wear makeup, dress like a boy, because I don't want my T to be attracted to me.
Another reason I gained weight in my life, I don't want others to judge me on my looks, I want them to like me for me and my personality. I used to do some modeling for the photographer when I was 18 (fully clothed, not bathing suits or nude or anything like that) and I don't know, I don't like men looking at me. But it pisses me off, I am now really fat, and guys still won't leave me alone. My T says maybe it was me who the guys really did like in the first place, not just my looks. Gosh do I have issues.

[ECHOES]

If you don't want contact with your former T, or anyone for that matter, there's not a thing wrong with telling them directly. What do you think?

[winterbaby]

Don't know your history or what happened with your T but if you think about it, any sort of attractive woman and any sort of attractive man meeting weekly more or less will set off some fires. Doesn't matter who it is, or where it is, at work, at the therapy office, wherever. In their minds, men are men. That's just the way it is. They shouldn't act it out though, unfortunately some of them do. But, I believe a male therapist, is firstly, a male. Has the same reactions to an attractive vulnerable woman as anyone else. It's too bad when they take it upon themselves to act out though most of them can keep it to themselves or discuss in supervision. Had a T like that myself. Now I stick with female Ts. It's too bad you had a bad experience and good to see you are making progress.

[happyflowergirl]

Hi Echoes,

My T and I decided if he come up to me again, non initiated, I would tell him either in person, or with a voice message. I am sure he will honor my request.

It feels kinda like a death of the relationship, but now me making a stand and saying I am not going to allow him to cross MY boundaries, not just his ethical boundaries, but MINE. Thanks for you support.

[happyflowergirl]

Hi Winterbaby,

You know sometimes I forget that when we come down to it, it is 2 people in the room, and for me it was 2 1/2 years, and we had a tremendous about about things in common, not just things, but the way of thinking about the world and stuff. I can't call him a total jerk, but he allowed his feelings about me to get in the way of being objective. And when he kept trying to rebuild those boundaries HE crossed, it hurt like hell.
I guess I am still angry and him getting in my face the other day, it was like, HOW DARE YOU. It took me 6 mo. of therapy to get over the loss of the relationship, and it makes me angry that he just come up to me casually and says Hi, like it is okay or something. I feel like I lost someone special in my life, and I grieved that loss a lot, and I am just not ready to be casual with him at the gym. I am guess I am not making a whole lot of sense here. But I feel angry he came into my life again. It makes me feel venerable to him again, and I don't like it.