[happyflowergirl]

I feel like not going. I went 3x last week, nothing heavy happened but I have feeling he is going to clobber me over the head with more trauma processing because I am feeling better after being triggered into PTSD again.
I know I have to deal with this, but I am feeling a little better now, and just want him to leave me alone! I feel like being a whimp right now. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[Jully]

I'm sorry you're feeling yucky...

hugs

Could you go and tell him how you are feeling? That you don't really want to jump back into the trauma processing right now??

PTSD and working through trauma are a lot of what my therapy is about. But we have many, many appointments where we just talk about what is happening in the room, or current things happening in my life, or whatever. I would say the "therapy relationship" is our favorite topic of late, actually. And that came after some MAJOR PTSD stuff that happened right in his office - huge panic attack, dissociation, etc. We backed off and now we touch on it, but we let it go sometimes too.

For me, it helps me to feel safe with my T, AND be willing to go to my appointments, if I know I can say "I don't want to go there today" and we can keep it a little lighter. I still think it helps with building the connection between me and T, which I know will help with more trauma processing down the road.

Good luck, happyflowergirl! Let us know what happens.

[Perna]

Hope you have an okay session happyflowergirl, nothing too upsetting.

[happyflowergirl]

Hi earthmama,

Yes I could tell him, ht is good about that sort of thing. But don't you ever just get to the point of going through more hurt again just flattens you. But yet again, I know I have to process this trauma to be my whole self again or maybe for the first time.
I guess I am just feeling a little beat up right now. I think my T kept last week light because I was such a wreak ( I am almost scared to say I feel better so lets go)
But in a way I don't even feel like going at all tomorrow, feel like skipping it. I guess I am not sure what I want right now. Normal would be nice I guess.

[happyflowergirl]

Thanks for the hugs Jully, I appreciate the support.

[happyflowergirl]

Thanks Perna,

I guess I don't know what will happen. But I guess sometimes those are the best sessions. He is a good T, he will know. I guess. Thanks Perna for you support .