[happysappy]

Is it possible my depression is seeping into the therapy room and effecting the progress of therapy? Today I just wasn't on his level. I tried to even follow his fingers during EMDR and they just went blurry and I had trouble concentrating. I think he knew something was up, because he kept looking at me. Sometimes I just frustrate myself.

[krazibean]

My T told me almost those exact words recently... that i am too depressed for therapy. I need more than she can give. She says i need to adjust my meds and get outside support because right now i'm not getting enough from her. She said i am unable to function and in order to do therapy i need to function. This confused me because i thought i was going to therapy to LEARN how to function... guess not? its so confusing...

[happysappy]

Hi Krazibean,

I don't get it either. But it seems when I went in this week and told him I am going to see my doctor because I feeling worse, I think he might have held off on the deep processing he knows we need to do. I guess it is being responsible, why stir the pot when the pot hasn't been able to hold any soup. okay bad example.
I think it is a hard one to call, because I need to process the trauma to better for good, but I think I have to be in a good functioning level to do that. . I don't know if this makes any sense. lol I think I just confused myself. lol

i think it makes sense. you might well need to talk about what happened someday. it might help you process it. but you need to do that when you are ready to do that. both because you are in a place where you can trust someone. and when you are in a place where you can function and cope. and that takes time.

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
krazibean said:
She says i need to adjust my meds and get outside support because right now i'm not getting enough from her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">krazibean, that is similar (except for the meds part) to what my first T said when I first began to see her. I was very depressed, scraping bottom, and not functioning well. I had never been to a therapist before and my idea of it was that I would go to therapy and she would help me. End of story. She said that was not how it worked. She said she only saw me for one hour a week so she could not be my only support. She said I needed to cultivate an outside support network of friends and family and not be so reluctant to ask these people for help or to lean on them when times get tough. So I began trying to build an outside support system. It wasn't easy, and my outside supports are probably not that great compared to many other people, but I have really improved in this area. And my T was very right, she cannot do it all, I need to help myself and let others help me too. I don't see this T anymore, but this was such an important thing I learned from her.

[Lemon]

I think it is true. However, I don't think it means you should stop going or anything. I made that mistake. When i stopped seeing T last time i was my most depressed ever. I just didn't want to make the effort anymore even though I really missed my T. Now I am taking meds and it got me to the functioning point where I can go to T and be more productive and present in therapy.

[Perna]

Therapy is a little like going to school and so you need to be eating, sleeping, etc. well so you can "think" well and learn about yourself in therapy. One is both the student and teacher in therapy, the therapist is just there to witness your journey and help guide a little. You have to be able to interact with your therapist and yourself first though.

[chaotic13]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Perna said:
You have to be able to interact with your therapist and yourself first though.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I think this statement is so true. When I struggle the most in therapy it is because I am struggling to interact with and accept my own thoughts. Most of therapy is done by the patient and they have to be functioning somewhat. You have to get yourself to not only attend but to put some of your thoughts on the table.. THEN and only then can you get the some help from your T. I wasted 8 months figuring this out.

Yes, it is possible to be too depressed to actively participate in therapy. This happened to me the first time I went to therapy as an adult. I could do nothing....not even talk.

In this case, the therapist needs to be doing "supportative therapy" in which they boost your ego, while you (a) get improvement through medication, and (b) get a stronger ego through their connection.

It does not mean the therapist should abandon you. It just requires a different approach to the therapy.

Good luck

[happysappy]

I think you are right Riptide, because my T was all ready to "go there" but when he saw that I was kinda resisting, and when I told him I am not functioning well, he backed off. He knows that normally I don't resist unless I need to. Normally I will take the bull by the horns, but I couldn't right now.

But he listened to me and that is important. So we talked a lot about important stuff but not traumatic stuff or I should say less traumatic stuff. I think we made incredible progress over the last month and the week of my spring break I went in 3x to see him. But now I am slowing it down some.

My doc prescibed my Prozac 2x a day 20mg instead of only once a day. I hope it kicks in soon. I have also decided to take the summer off from my college, I am only 39 and I will finish soon enough. I need to take care of me first so I can be a good mother, and take care of things at home. Everything is so disorganized, you can sometimes tell how someone is mentally doing by looking at the inside of their house. You can easily tell I am depressed. Even my husband can tell by looking at my facial expressions, I am not doing well.

This is the most depressed I think I have ever felt. I physically ache and I just want to sleep. I need to find myself again. I am so sad right now, but I still have hope. With my T and my family doctor, and the support from this great community, I can get through this. I have learned you just can't will it away or "just get over it".
My Doc. said sometimes you have to just accept what is and do something about it even if you don't know the reason. But I am sure my T could think of at least 10 reasons. But it finally has caught up to me.

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
happysappy said:
you can sometimes tell how someone is mentally doing by looking at the inside of their house.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

The "state of my house" has been the topic of discussion at the last two meetings I have had with coach/T, H, and the child specialist. It's really embarrassing. I really didn't want T to know about the state of my home. I didn't choose to bring this up.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
happysappy said:


Everything is so disorganized, you can sometimes tell how someone is mentally doing by looking at the inside of their house.
.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

If this is the case, I am not doing too good....as I have crap all over and laundry piled to the ceiling....

[happysappy]

The thing about having a clean and organized house( within reason) is that my family all feel better and are more relaxed. But sometimes you can't do what you know it would help you. Depression messes with the mind, don't you think?

[ECHOES]

Keep going.

Resistance is perfectly normal and something to work through and learn about.

Just keep going. Keep talking as best you can.

It took me nearly a year to be able to say much at all. T kept telling me to not give up, bless her. And I committed to myself to not give up so her encouragement was greatly appreciated. Things are now so much better in and out of session.

Keep going