what would you think?

what would you guys think if you had a former pdoc, in a state where you used to live, and you were his patient. He gave you his cell # and said to call if needed. I very rarely did because he has a family and I didn't want to intefer. Anyway, when I moved we kept in touch and e-mailed and cell phoned. He is my confidante and friend and pdoc in Ga. Well, it has been almost 2 months and he won't answer me. The last time I heard from him he said he was studying for an exam and had been slammed. I am going crazier not hearing from him. Even if he sent me a "go to Hell" message I would be happy. What should I do? janet56

I would move on and find a new pdoc in the state you are in.

Well if you are concerned about his safety I would just leave him a message that you are concerned with his physical safety and that you would appreciate letting you know if he was terminating the relationship. Then pick up and move on. That's all you really can do, but at least you would have told him how you felt.

ouch..

personally..i'd feel just like you seem to...lost, hurt and confused. Crossing a state line doesn't somehow stop a person from feeling pain, loss or confusion.

jan.. you can't DO anything to make him respond or have any sort of recourse legally.. but i dont think you're looking for that somehow. An explanation isn't an unreasonable expectation, but you may never get one. On THAT front.. if you have a new pdoc or can get one of either... maybe they can contact the old pdoc and get some sort of closure for you. Medical professionals are usually willing to talk to each other - for medical history if nothing else. It probably won't reverse the situation though.

and i'll tell you... this isn't your fault. It's not. i don't care how good bad or whatever you have been... he's the guy with the degree and the knowledge of what the dynamics were.

it's not good form on his part, period.

i know.. that prolly hurts too... to be critical of him... but it's true.. OF COURSE you're going to hang onto him.. he should have known that.

i am so sorry.

find yourself a therapist sugar... it's not a betrayal to do so. You need the support or you wouldn't have relied on him so

Hey. I had a similar situation. I had an old p-doc who gave me her email. I moved and emailed her. No response. I tried again. No response. Then I sent a final email .... No response.

My final email thanked her again and updated her on my new situation. I figured if she ever wanted to respond, she knows where I am....

I had to move on. It hurt, especially because she said I could email. I decided it was hurting me more to keep trying to contact her than to move on.

I think mz. fluff's idea about having another pdoc contact him (even just for closure) is a good idea. If it were me, i *would* send an email or phone message saying "At least tell me something, like go to hell, so i know you're alive and i heard from you."
come to think of it... i have done that... and i got a response too. t said "sorry i have been so tardy in my response, i've just been slammed. I do care, please tell me more about your life."

sorry you're hurting!! kiya

what do you feel you can do?

My advice it to try not to jump the gun. There are any number of reasons he might not have replied to you. Maybe he is on vacation for instance.

There isn't much you can do unfortunately. I'm sorry I know that hurts.

If it were me and my T, I'd try a few times and then if he didn't respond I would need to respect that. The therapeutic relationship is a trippy one, I'll say that!