[BrnEyedGrl]

Well I had posted here a while back about starting with a new therapist and how scared I was about going.
I of course cancelled the 1st appt, well it did snow that night and I just couldn't drive the next morning. But still, it took me about a month or so to book the next appt again, but I did it.
I was nervous so I had someone drive me so I didn't have to worry about that as well.
Now that I've been I'm not sure if this is the T for me.

Did any of you feel that way after your first session? I just do not feel we connected at all. Yes, some will say that it takes a while to get to know each other but I have been to others where we basically clicked right away. It didn't happen this time.
This T was so busy typing things into the computer that everytime I started to say something, she said..."wait a minute, I will just have to interupt you later if I don't get this in here." Now, I just felt that was somewhat unprofessional, especially since I thought I was there to talk and explain some things??? Am I wrong? Was I expecting too much? Am I impatient?
I am upset because I cannot see my previous T anymore. She doesn't accept my new insurance and that is so depressing. She was just great.

I have another appt this Monday. I WILL go and see what happens but Im already wondering what to do if it doesn't work out. (I then have to try another T from the same group and that seems a little awkward to me!)

Any advice would really help me out. Im going because of severe anxiety and panic issues, so having to worry about this already is becoming a problem!!! (I just can't stop thinking about it, ugghhh!)
HELP...

[sunrise]

BrnEyedGrl, some therapists are really into taking a detailed history the first session, and this can even stretch into the second session. I would wait until your T is done gathering basic information before I gave up. Maybe once she puts her computer down and focuses on you and begins to do therapy, she will be all right. If she still keeps "interrupting" you by typing on her keyboard after she is done with the history, I would explain that it is disruptive and ask her to put it away. If part of her therapy is clacking on the keyboard every session, and this does not work for you, then don't continue.

With my current therapist, we clicked immediately. With my first therapist, I can't say we clicked, but I liked her OK. We never had a close bond but she was helpful. I think it all depends on what you are looking for. Are you looking for someone who will be your therapy soulmate? Or someone to help you in a competent manner but not necessarily someone to become attached to? I think any T right now would be hard for you to bond with as you are still feeling upset at losing your old T. Could you continue to see your old T but pay out of pocket? I hate to see people's therapeutic relationships torn asunder by this insurance cr*p.

[PsyChris]

Many therapists need to gather that kind of information to form a treatment plan. You really shouldn't consider your therapy "started" until after those first few consultation sessions.

[Kiya]

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sunrise said:
I think any T right now would be hard for you to bond with as you are still feeling upset at losing your old T. Could you continue to see your old T but pay out of pocket? I hate to see people's therapeutic relationships torn asunder by this insurance cr*p.

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Yep... just what i was thinking... give it some time... or see if you can cont. with your old t out of pocket (maybe that t will reduce rates for you?) but if it comes down to needing to leave this new t because it bugs you too much - she won't be offended. it is a work relationship and if it really doesn't suit you, you're the one paying so you need to be where you are comfortable to do the work. it will be ok.
k

[chaotic13]

My first sessions with my T were awful. I questioned constantly my decision to keep going for at least 3 months. However, something always made me end up driving to the appointment. I say listen to your doubts, work through them, if in the end you don' t think it is working for you, find someone else. You mentioned that you've had another T that you liked, so you have a nice comparison. I say take it day by day. Work through your doubts and concerns. If there are things you can clearly identify, like the typing while you are talking, raise the issues with your T. If the situation doesn't improve, then move on.

For me in the beginning I was making the stay or go decision out to be this major monumental decision. When you really think about it, it simply isn't. If done properly you can choose to discontinue one week and then change your mind and start back 2 weeks later. Both you and your T will survive.

Please don't see this post as minimalizing what you are going through. I was stuck here for MONTHS, it sucks!

Good luck.

[Mouse_]

I dunno what to say...I bascially connect to anyone in the beginning as the relationship is in my head at first.....

[BrnEyedGrl]

Thanks so much.
You all make so much sense. I WILL try it out, have an open mind, possibly let her know my concerns (if needed), and then make the decision.
(Yes, I had thought about going to my old T once a month and paying out of pocket. The thought of just letting that kind of great relationship go is such a bummer!)

And after reading what ya'll wrote, I am making too much of the situation too soon. (I do hate that part of myself, but that's my anxiety.)

I will be going again on Monday.............."cross fingers!"

[Perna]

I wouldn't have liked her manner either. "You" were there; I would have liked her to have listened to what you had to say, fill in the form when you weren't speaking and if it took longer then so be it? I would go again on Monday but if she interrupted me or told me to "wait" I'd let her know I didn't like that and that I was there for my purposes and hers, whatever they are, should take second fiddle; I'm the client. She can give me a form to take home and fill out and bring back and type in her own copious spare time between two and three a.m. if that's what she wants to do but when I'm there, listen to what I have to say!

[BrnEyedGrl]

THANK YOU Perna!!!! That is exactly how I felt. In fact I did complete the ppw before I went in and I felt like if she wanted to jot a note down or two then fine, but all this time typing and I swear I couldn't even remember why I was there!!! lol.

[skeksi]

I would have been uncomfortable, too--felt like I wasn't important.

My first two sessions, T took detailed notes by hand on forms, and I naturally would pause until he had finished and looked ready for more or asked another questions. He's never written anything in session since--always does his notes after I'm gone.

I would suggest giving her a few sessions to feel her out; I felt more connected once we began having conversations as opposed to interviews!

Hey, I just started with a new T a couple months ago and the first sessions sucked. She fired questions trying to get a history...it was horrible.

It is still horrible. It takes time to build a relationship.

If your T continues to that after a couple of sessions, I would ask about it. If she doesn't stop and do more normal relating, get a new T.

[BrnEyedGrl]

Hey guys....
Well I saw the T again today and ..... still not sure.

She was better at not using the computer this time, which I was sooooo glad about, but she was just not the right personality for me. Im so confused.
I also saw the Psyciatrist for meds before seing her and have to say I LOVED her. She was so cool and really got me from the minute I walked in there. WHY can't we see the psyciatrist for help? I don't understand this new system of T's every week or so and the psychiatrist only every few months? Can anyone enlighten me on that one?

Anyway, I am there because of extreme anxiety/panic, agoraphobia, and depression. She seems to want to focus solely on this supposed anger that I have in my life. That is the whole reason I am anxious she says....I dunno.
One more thing....I explained to her about my verbally and mentally abusive husband. No support, no love, blah blah. She keeps giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying that I chose to marry him and the whole reason was to focus on this anger issue. "So lets focus on that right now!". "What a great opportunity you have!" Great? He's an ***hole lady, jeez.
So, that's where I am. Obviously screwed up and confused as ever, except now I have the meds, Thank God!!!
Should I feel awkward about calling up and changing T's? This is really a nervous situation for me. What if I run into her? What if I get a T that is a friend of hers? Ugghhh!!! HELP.

It took me quite a few months to actually 100 percent decide that I wanted to stay with my T-- I couldn't decide if we connected or not. I even considered dumping him a couple of times.

Over two and a half years later, we have connected. He is quite amazing and I am very fortunate of our relationship.

I'm not sure that I'm understanding what you meant about your therapist saying "what a great opportunity you have." As far as anger, anger is frequently what lies underneath our emotions such as anxiety and depression-- so she may see that in you, and want to get at it.

Only you can tell if this relationship is right for you-- if you are unsure, I would say give a it a little bit more time-- it normally takes more than just two visits to decide unless it is blatantly obvious.