I never thought nine years after the first hospitalization........

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((((pinksoil)))))))))))))))))

[Christina86]

((((((((((((((((((pinksoil))))))))))))))))))

I just called to get a little more information. Basically, I have to go to the hospital and have an evaluation. If they decide that I am in crisis then they will call my insurance company in order to get me authorized, and then I will be admitted. They said an admission would last anywhere from 3 to 10 days. I can sign a 72 hour notice if I decide I only want to be there for 3 days. They like you to stay a bit longer to get more help. I will most likely end up being in the hospital on my birthday.

I lead two lives. Crisis? I'm sitting here at my desk doing work and interacting with people like normal. How %#@&#! up and confusing.

[Razzleberry]

I think you made the right decision. Good luck with everything. We're all rooting for you.

[Perna]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
I lead two lives. Crisis? I'm sitting here at my desk doing work and interacting with people like normal. How %#@&amp;#! up and confusing.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Sounds like a form of crisis to me. {{{{pinksoil}}}}

First Fig

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light!

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

[HALLIEBETH87]

((pink))

[Kiya]

(((((((((((((((pink))))))))))))))))

it is hard to have our brains so compartmentalized that they can do that; be in crisis and yet function around others. helpful on one hand, terrifying on the other. always makes me wonder which one is real...

Be thinking of you.... think you are making a good decision.

[lauren_helene]

(((Pink))) Trust yourself and let someone help you for awhile. There is no shame in any of this you are taking care of yourself and you are more important than a job, school or anything else.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( pink ))))))))))))))

Hospital Reminders:

Bring your own pillow. Those hospital ones suck. Plus other people drooled on them. If you can't plan, make sure someone brings you one at first visit.

And watch your weight. I always gain weight in the hospital. Snacks all the time....Yum.

Cutting will get you one-on-one. LOL
And no, the nurse won't wipe your ***!

Partcipate in craft group. It is usually the best and sometimes the crafts are real good.

Socks. The hospital will give you a pair, but no-one wears shoes, so bring some comfy socks.

Don't bother trying to look prettty. No one does
And all make-up, curling irons, and hair dryers are kept locked up, with limited access.

Don't be an *** to the staff. They have access to the movies, the games, the snacks, the TV, the phones, etc. If you treat them like %#@&#!, your free-time will suck because the staff will all of a sudden get busy.

If I think of any more tips, I'll add them...

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Riptide said:
Hospital Reminders:

Funny you should post this-- I was going to start a hospital reminder post. I have a pretty good handle on what to bring since I just spent an entire year interning in a psych hospital. This is also not my first hospitalization... my first one, however, was 9 years ago, traumatic, and I don't remember what the hell I brought. I will add this:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
And watch your weight. I always gain weight in the hospital. Snacks all the time....Yum.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
This I am not worried about. I am tiny and I will be fortunate if I am relaxed enough that I can actually eat snacks.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Cutting will get you one-on-one. LOL

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I'm going into the hospital to see what it will be like to not cut for a certain amount of time. This is not a behavior I plan on tryng to sneak while in the hospital.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
And no, the nurse won't wipe your ***!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I don't want anyone touching my ***.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Partcipate in craft group. It is usually the best and sometimes the crafts are real good.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Hey, I ran some of the most kick *** art groups ever when I was interning. Whatever they want me to participate in, I will. I'm not going to be a jackass. You want me to make paper hats with little raisins stuck on them? Sure, I'll do it. And I'll make one for you, too.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Socks. The hospital will give you a pair, but no-one wears shoes, so bring some comfy socks.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I'm DEFINITELY bringing my own.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Don't bother trying to look prettty. No one does
And all make-up, curling irons, and hair dryers are kept locked up, with limited access.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
This one I will have to dispute. No one is going to keep me from waking up in the morning and resuming my normal routine, which is to shower, fix my hair, and put on makeup. I do it at home, even when I'm feeling bad, and I intend to do it at the hospital, too. I will bring comfy clothes and all, but I never present myself as looking sloppy and that includes while staying at the hospital.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Don't be an *** to the staff.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
As long as they don't act like an *** to me. As far as the therapists, I was doing exactly what they are doing, just 2 weeks ago, so hopefully they will not treat me like I'm stupid. I will treat them with the same respect that I, and every other patient, deserves. I expect to get that in return. Plus, why be an *** to the staff when I have T? haha

I am trying to figure out if I should bring quarters or a calling card. At the hospital I worked at, there were payphones.

I will bring:

my sketchbook
oil pastels
journal
thesaurus
several books
pictures of my husband and birds
something that me T wrote for me
a list for the staff of my medications, and contact information for T and Pdoc
day clothes and night clothes
underwear and socks
my own shampoo and conditioner
stuffed animal
book of word and logic puzzles
quarters/calling card
a bunch of one dollar bills
my cd walkman and cds (the hospital i worked at allowed patients to use these. if i have to exist in the hospital without my music, i will climb the walls).
some makeup
contact lenses
glasses for back up
deodorant
toothbrush
toothpaste

am i forgetting anything????

the hospital i am going to has a women's unit/program. this is where i will try to be placed. when i called today to inquire about admissions they said they can't guarantee an open bed of course, but worst case scenario would be that i would go to another unit and then be moved there when a bed opens up. it sounds like a pretty good place to be. tons of treatment. six groups per day. individual therapy available. private rooms. each room has a little courtyard outside of it. the grounds are gorgeous. maybe it won't be so bad.

[Kiya]

pads or tampons for monthlies???
a bunch of cool gel pens with glitter?
your favorite book?
bathrobe?
bath soap?
mouthwash?
i would bring something that glows in the dark for the bed stand. i'd also bring a chocolate bar
hair clips or scrunchies?
list of important phone numbers
i would also bring Klutz Origami Stars to make day in and out.

Stuff my entire bag with plastic bottles of ginger ale. Or I'll just make my husband bring those.

[Perna]

Can you call and ask/make sure what you're bringing is allowed and/or prioritize your stuff? Six groups a day! Hope you don't have to go to all of them (like summer camp as a kid) but can pick and choose? No time for quiet/alone time; that would drive me bonkers. Too much like work, LOL.

I'm probably going to do that, Perna. I can't believe this is all happening. Doesn't seem real yet. It's not til Monday. I never thought I would have to do this again. I stayed home from work today. Called my supervisor and left her a msg. that I was going into the hospital-- let her think I was going today... I need to rest today. And then I turned my phone off because like T said-- right now this is about me-- it's not about work and it's not about them calling me back to tell me to call this person and that person to rearrange my appointments.... %#@&#! them because for once, this is about me.

[Perna]

It just occurred to me; you won't have your PC! I'm sorry, but it's all off, you can't go! We don't want to do without you.

[Kiya]

((((((((((((pink)))))))))))))

I just left a message on T's cell phone, semi-crying because the reality is setting in and I'm completely blaming myself, wondering how I allowed myself to get to this point, insisting that I could have/should have done something differently.

Now I'm crying even a little bit harder because I called the admissions department and found out that walkmans are not allowed on the units. I have no idea how I will survive a hospitalization without being allowed to retreat into my music.

[puckyjan56]

pinksoil.......good luck while you are in the hosp. i have been 4 times and i need to go now but the almighty dollar makes you think twice. but i didn't come here to talk about me. your list seems like you will have everything and we will miss you.........xxxxxxooooooo.....puckyjan56.....aka janet

[foreverlost]

I'm wishing you the best, Pink. I think you feel as if you need some extra help right now, and there's nothing wrong with pursuing that!Good luck with the evaluation and whatever results. Keep posting...

[Soidhonia]

(((PInksoil))). I am so very very Proud that you have made this wise decision to go into the PROGRAM. I hope everything goes well with you. Tak care and best wishes. Soidhonia

[Kiya]

oh pink - don't let the music stop you (((((((((pink))))))))))) take care of you!!!

[Slippers]

Your fav music will all still be in your head. And you're allowed to bring your head. I'm sure. For shrinking purposes.

Maybe start printing off the lyrics to your favorite songs to bring with you. Must have a 10:1 ratio of uplifting to sad songs.

S