I'd like to see someone, but my mom thinks not.

I'm kind of in a dilemma.

I was recently Diagnosed with depression, and put on 10mg of lexapro (Also for anxiety).

I told my doctor pretty much everything that's been plaguing me the past few years, and along with the prescription, she said she'd send along a referral to a Psychiatrist and a Thearapist.

I've been telling my mom for years that I need to see someone about my problems, and was glad that finally someone was finally listening to me, and catering to my needs. Convinced that I now had a medical practitioners convictions behind my own, I thought my mom would finally accept that maybe I need help.

However, when I approached my mother with the long list of Therapists in my area, she brushed me away and insisted I didn't need it. I explained to my mom (for the first time, mind) That I've been unable to Step on lines, cracks, and patterns, that they cause me great anxiety to step on.

Instead of being even the tiniest bit concerned, she starting rattling off these ridiculous claims that it's "Just my personality" and that "It's what makes me unique"

I explained to her that it bothers me, and she insists that it's nothing. On top of that, she's ignoring my depression and anxiety. I've been hiding behind this facade for so long, crying in secret. I've just been considered Whiny or Sensitive or "Lazy."

And after shutting me down (once again) after a doctor insisted I should see a therapist, she asks "Why, What do you think you need to see a shrink for." (because she refers to them as their derogatory name)

And At that point I can do nothing but shake my head and say "never mind. I don't know."

My mom said "lets see how you do on your medication."

I'm of age, where I don't need my parents consent to seek help, however my mother holds the insurance, and I'm on her policy as a dependent.

Should I push the issue with her, or just (like I usually do) fold and accept my crippling "personality quirk" that people openly mock me for (Which I also mentioned to my mother, saying that it also bothers me.)

For the record, I would Like to see a therapist, maybe just once, for him or her to tell me that I'm a crazy whiny little girl and should have just accepted that life threw me a curveball and endowed a horrible personality quirk on me.

If you are of age, then you are allowed to use the insurance without her having to approve it. You might need to check and be sure there is coverage for mental health, as that might be one reason she is dissuading you.

You have a doctor prescribing, and if your MD will continue, you won't need the psychiatrist for the time being (and as long as the meds work, and your MD agrees.)

Why not call some of the therapists that your insurance will cover, and verify that with them, and see if you even like their voice etc, on the phone?

I think it is a great thing that you are reaching out for help! Perhaps your mom feels she is part of your problem and thus can't handle you "finding" that out? It's tougher when parents don't support you, but once you have a good therapeutic relationship with a T, you'll get passed that.

I doubt any T worth his salt would say that to you. Ts help people become comfortable with themselves... whatever the reason they aren't (and thus seek counseling.) Ts help you learn how to change what you can and want to , and how to adapt to what you need to.

Go for it!

Dawr, can you ask your doctor to call your mother and explain the situation to her? Then she can hear the truth from a respected medical professional and maybe that would convince her. Also, you could show her some articles where it says that therapy for depression is very beneficial and often is used in conjunction with meds. If she thinks it is OK you are on Lexapro, then she must think you are depressed. So she is admitting to your depression! I personally can't understand why someone would approve of anti-depressants for their young adult daughter but not therapy! Anti-depressants seem much more of a serious intervention to me and worth a lot of careful consideration. Your mother isn't making sense to me....

Sky is right, by the way, you don't need your mother's permission to go to a doctor if you are listed on her insurance policy. My daughter is only 17 and she can do this.

When I was a young teen a doctor referred me to a psychologist. My mother felt the same as your mother. Like you, I was excited to finally talk to someone. I knew there was something "wrong" with me. I didn't know "what" that was.

I couldn't or didn't get the help I needed until I graduated college. I wished I went earlier. Although to most people I am happy and successful, I can't help thinking my high school and college years were taken away from me with my depression and anxiety.

Trust yourself. Your mother is scared. That is her issue. Please listen to your doctor. Medication is great. Medication with talking therapy is ideal.

Sky is right you don't need her permission if you are of age. She is afraid of something but that is about her and not you.

I'm sorry I know it is tough when you don't have supportive parents. Good for you for taking care of your needs.

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_Sky said:

I doubt any T worth his salt would say that [I would Like to see a therapist, maybe just once, for him or her to tell me that I'm a crazy whiny little girl...] to you.

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Unfortunately, not all are worth their salt. Some WILL say things like that. Some even here on PC will say things similar. It is not easy (at least for me) to encounter that kind of thing and not go into a tailspin.

So I think the fear that someone will say something that negative is not without foundation in reality. The question then becomes what to do about it if it happens...

((((((((((((Dawr))))))))))))))))
If you feel like you need help then definately go to a T. I agree with everybody else I don't think you need your mothers permision if you are of age and are on the insurance.

Dawr,

I think Sky is right. If you are of age, then you don't need your mother's approval to go to any doctor or therapist you want provided it's covered by the plan.

I also think Sunny has a point with respect to having the MD call your mom, but that will only work if she is open to it.

Sometiems, parents don't know what to do because their experience has been so very different. Your mom was probably brought up to not ask for help. I think you have done an amazing job so far, standing up for yourself and taking care of your needs.

The next step would be to find out if therapy is covered by the insurance and how to make the co-pay.

Keep posting.

Peace

You don't need your mom's permission. Just pay the copays on your own, and set up the appointmetns yourself.

Another option is to look for therapy without insurance, on a sliding-scale basis. You are a college student, right? Is there anything available thru student health services?

Get help. You know you need it, don't let your mom stand in your way.

I would check at your college; most have great counseling centers that are free to students. Your mother wouldn't be part of that. If you don't want to do it that way, save a little money and go on your own a couple times, see what you can learn and show your mother you're truly interested and serious and then present it to her as desiring her help (rather than her opinion) with any insurance issues.