For one reason or another i havent been to therapy for a few weeks. My t is now off until next tuesday, my next apointment. There are days when i feel i am ok and wonder if i could get by without going, at first i felt great because i had someone qualified and proffessional to talk to, now i just wonder if i am putting off the really deep stuff .... has anyone else been in this situation? So far we have done some child work and getting me stable enough to go through some of the traumatic incidents that happened. I'm not sure if maybe deep down i am avoiding the 'real' stuff i still have to go through. I have a lot more good days and feel so much stronger, maybe going back would be a ad thing? Confused, Jinnyann

[Mouse_]

only you can answer that.

that's the trouble .... i really don't know.... my gut feeling is to go back and get to the bottom of it, then i think about the stuff still to be bought to the surface and i get nervous. It's just making that choice.

Jinny x

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((jinny))))))))))))) Sounds like you already know what you should do. Doesn't make it any easier for sure. It will be worth it once you get through it and hopefully will bring much relief not to have to hold it all by yourself.

Take good care.

Wow, I can really relate to what you're saying!!

I just had a long (11 day) break from T, and it's hard to think about going back. But part of me knows that I've already held on to this stuff for too long - it's time for me to go and heal. The thought of letting anyone in is so, so, so scary, but the times that I've opened up and let myself be vulnerable with T - especially doing trauma work - have been so healing. It's the first time I haven't felt ALONE with the trauma, which is a very powerful, healing feeling.

Even knowing that, I still hesitate to go back! This stuff is hard. But we can do it, and be that much stronger for it in the end.

((((((((((earthmama))))))))))))))

you actually hit the nail on the the head here ...... letting someone in, to the actual truth, about the way i feel for the first time .... that's what is scaring me. My hubby and a couple of friends know most of what happened .... but the raw truth of how I FEEL ..... how I COPE with it .... terrifies me. I never even faced how i really feel and cope with it myself..... i just thought everyone has had it worse than me.

My T says i have very deep trauma ..... don't know if i can face it after being so strong for the last few weeks ...... i don't know if i can go back to it all.

((((((((((((earthmama))))))))))))i have to think long and hard about this.

Jinny xx

[splitimage]

You should definitely talk to your T about pacing. There's a fine line in trauma work between doing useful healing work, and moving too quickly / bringing up old stuff before you're ready to handle it.

It's hard that sometimes therapy has to make our lives seem worse before they can get better, but it's worth it in the long run.

Talk to your T about your fears, and discuss coping strategies for dealing with the old feelings that the therapy will bring up.

---splitimage

[gravyyy]

I often wonder the same thing Jinnyann. Different issues, but I often feel like I hide the worst most painful stuff. And I also have toruble some days where I think I won't be able to make it until my next session (though kudos to you for making it a few weeks between sessions... you must be doing a lot of hard work). I think we avoid the tough stuff because it will make us feel worse in the present. I think we spend so much time avoiding feeling bad that when we know deep down that we have something that's going to make us feel bad, we avoid bringing it up, or we try to minimize it. The only way you're going to feel better about your issues is if you get to the root of them unfortunately. I agree with splitimage... you sometimes get worse before you get better. it doesn't make it any easier to go through, but just be honest with yourself and your T. Good Luck.

thankyou so much, I know i will keep going. i have been in and out of hospital for a bit and my holiday to Sweden and my T's holidays and dissitation have made it really hard .... she is very keen on taking things really slowly, i am so lucky to have her. i guess i just panicked for a while because i haven't been for so long. You're right when you say i have to feel worse to get better too. I've been so good just lately i am getting stronger though, so hopefully i'll be ok.. thankyou so much for taking time to answer me, much appreciated .

hugs, take care and good luck to you all too .... Jinnyann xoxoxoxo

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))