[okiedokie]

said she doesn't want to work with me anymore. After 5 years. She is limiting her practice, blah, blah, blah....doesn't want to be on-call anymore, thinks I need something different...

I'm devastated. I feel so betrayed. And duped and stupid and alone.

BTW, I never called her between sessions. Not in a continual crisis, dx of major depression only.

This turtle is going back in her shell, and staying there.

Okie

[ECHOES]

((( okie ))) Devastating news. I'm so sorry.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( okie )))))))))))

I'm so sorry (and its so easy to wrongly blame ourselves in situations like this)

[Kiya]

((((((((((((((((okie)))))))))))))))))
ouch that really hurts!!!
I'm so sorry!

[Christina86]

((((((((((((Okie)))))))))))))

I'm sorry. That's horribly sad.

[pegasus]

OMG!

((((((((((((( okiedokie ))))))))))))))))

[okiedokie]

I'm sobbing....

[Fuzzybear]

They have all the power........

[Kiya]

=(

[Rose3]

I want to say that it sounds unprofessional of her to say that she doesn't want to work with you.
What a tactless thing to say to a client.
Sorry that you're losing your therapist.
Maybe there could have been other reasons for this kind of change, so you might have had to confront it anyway at some point?
Maybe this is opportunity to find someone better?

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((okie))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry.

BB

[gardenergirl]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry that happened. How truly awful. I hope she's giving you time to process this with her instead of just flinging it out and bailing.

Sending out virtual kleenex and comfort.

gg

[sunrise]

((((((((((okie))))))))))

I think the honorable thing to do if a T is cutting back on clients is to let them drop off naturally with time and take on no new clients. That way, no one has to be terminated before they are ready.

[InsaneMax]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
okiedokie said:
said she doesn't want to work with me anymore. After 5 years. She is limiting her practice, blah, blah, blah....doesn't want to be on-call anymore, thinks I need something different...

I'm devastated. I feel so betrayed. And duped and stupid and alone.

BTW, I never called her between sessions. Not in a continual crisis, dx of major depression only.

This turtle is going back in her shell, and staying there.

Okie

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Did she really dump you, or is it rather that she is cutting back her practice and has to take less patients? You weren't the only one, were you? BTW, she has a legal obligation to refer you to someone else, or it is dumping.

Your not stupid.
She sounds like she was really harsh when she told you this bombshell-- I think you have an opportunity that just opened up in this surprise shocker; this therapist of yours obviously isn't ready for the position of responsibility a T has with their patients. It's good news, because this one probably wasn't a good T with her recklessness.
Now you can get a new T. when your ready, and you'll know what NOT to look for in a T.
I am really sorry, this stuff hurts. I know someone who really got dumped by their T. It hurt him too, and his response was to just become really depressed and then to say that therapy is stupid, waste of time, therapists don't know anything, etc... don't go that way. Take the high ground, rest your mind for little bit, and then pick yourself right back up and get back into the game.

[MissCharlotte]

(((Okie))))

So sorry this has happened.

It is not your fault. Don't punish yourself!

[sunrise]

Okie, is she giving you warning that she will be dumping you in the future, or did she just say, bye, you can't come here anymore? Sometimes when T's do have to terminate, they give you several months warning so you can work together weekly to move towards termination. I hope you can keep going to see her for a while if that would be helpful. On the other hand, I could also see how maybe you would never want to go back again, even if she offered it.

[kessa19]

[okiedokie]

Thanks, guys. No, this was a real true dumping. I quit her group, so she quit me and my being a member of her group was not even a part of the original deal.

No, no referrals, nothing.

I feel SO stupid. Why do I allow myself to get hurt like this????

Okie

[Rose3]

You are not stupid.
You trusted her. And she should have been trustworthy. That is why you feel hurt.
She let you down.
There are other therapists - lots of other therapists.
All the best in your discovery of a better therapist.

[sunrise]

I'm so sorry, okie. So you were in group therapy and individual therapy with her? It seems very scummy to me, bordering on unethical, to drop someone from individual who is no longer participating in group. It's like her clients are cash cows, and the fee for individual alone isn't worth her while. Arrghhh. You deserve way way better, okie.

[InsaneMax]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
okiedokie said:
Thanks, guys. No, this was a real true dumping. I quit her group, so she quit me and my being a member of her group was not even a part of the original deal.

No, no referrals, nothing.

I feel SO stupid. Why do I allow myself to get hurt like this????

Okie

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
People like this therapist are of the worst kind, as they pretend to be empathetic and professional, but are really into being a therapist for a different reason that is both self gratifying and about control.

I'm really good now, after multiple former therapists that I discontinued with---at finding BIG RED FLAGS that show through. However, I'm very intuitive, and I don't think everyone has the ability to pay close enough attention to see phony therapists from a real, professional therapist who has EMPATHY.

Sorry phony therapist kids-- the mandatory pre-requisite for a therapist is to have EMPATHY; everything evolves around that.
UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD of the CLIENT!!!! This T. disgusts me--she essentially has her way with her patients after she has won them over with her phony charm; this is praying on people when they are at their worst.

But what do you do in your situation? Well, I was in your situation in terms of phoniness etc., however I dumped them before they dumped me; I never felt comfortable with them, so I moved on pretty fast. I knew it wasn't me that was just nervous, it was THEIR words and actions that were dishonest and they didn't know I had radar I think experiences like this are really good in a way, because now you will be more intuitive to the BIG RED FLAGS that the phony, unprofessional, self-gratifying therapists in the future, and thus--able to help others navigate the waters. I've been able to get three people to go to therapy, and they are far better for it.

The trick is to never give up... never never never... Go through 40 if you have to; drive further out of town, whatever it takes to get a good therapist. I'm really sorry okiedokie. It's not your fault, and it's not because you are unlikeable or stupid. Don't fall for that trap she set. She's not worth your emotional energy.

What's your plan for your next step?

[Slippers]

If I were in your position, I would document everything that happened with dates to the best of my ability and report her to the appropriate licensing board. It's unethical in by all professional standards to dump a client without offering referrals and proper time to process termination (unless you've punched her in the nose...but even then she can give you a referral).

If you decide to do this and need help determining where to report her, let us know and someone will assist.

Slippers

(((Okie)))))
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It is NOT you. I will be thinking about you and the wonderful opportunities that lie in front of you

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((( okie ))))))))))))))))))))))

[kim_johnson]

Why did you quit the group? I know that you said that that wasn't part of the original deal, but I guess I'm wondering if it is that the goalposts have changed or something like that (which tends to happen as we progress).

Did you feel the group was helping?
Did she?