Feeling Memorys.

As I begun to wake up this morning I suddenly remembered a game my adoptive father would play with me. I had a good relationship with him compared to my adoptive mother but alas he wasn't really around enought to be really effective, so as I say, I remembered when ever he was getting ready to go to work he would get his coat on and say "bye" then he would go, or so I thought, then his head would pop around the door again and he'd say, BOO! and then he'd go "Bye", oh you get the picture, when as I began to wake I remembered this as clear as day and then I remembered a deep saddness in me, its like I was really sad when as I sat waiting for him to appear again, he didnt' and I would wait and wait and wait until I told myself that this time he really had gone. I have never ever remembered that and am totally amazed at just how even the smallest things can stay with you....perhaps its because I am adopted that the disappearing had a greater effect on me? but it is so surreal to have a memory like this. That that small part of me has been carrying memorys that and perhaps still waiting for dad to return, yeah thats what it felt like this morning like part of me had been frozen in time, the waiting and now its gone through me...I guess its just as well its passed finally because me dads been dead 12 yrs and really isn't coming back this time LOL! sorrry my sick sense of humour!, but geez even games can become something else for a young growing mind?

Yes - that and he sounds like he was the "safe" parent. So you would (i am guessing) rather have him around instead and have mom be the one who was leaving?
And such saddness that he's leaving that even the game of Boo might instill a sense that maybe this time he's not leaving and you'll be safe for once?
But it sounds like a good (and honest) connection that, yes he is dead, and he really won't be coming back =( and you are still dealing with your mom and the memories there. but also at the same time, the memories of your dad (tho fewer) may still pop up from time to time and gently go Boo.

(((((((((((((Mouse))))))))))))))))
kiya