Its been quite sometime......since i've posted...afraid of looseing my T.

Hello,

Recently my life has changed dramaticly for the positive until recently, I found out my T has a boyfriend now I feel our connection is just theraputic as it should have been all along but in MY mind it was deeper so now im heart broken. Since my last session (wednesday) i've left 5 messages on her answering machine and e-mailed her 3 times I'm afraid im pesttering her and she'll fire me....its been a year this month since I've been her client.....and all of a sudden i feel i've lost her....i told her of my love for her she could only say "we feel what we feel until we dont feel that way anymore" now im jealous of her relationship and i feel selfish,sad, and even mad....all i've been doing is sleeping and crying....T plz dont leave me...i need you...

Dustin

((( Dustin )))

It's so good to see you again, although I'm sorry you're feeling bad. Congratulations on your one year in thearapy--that's a great accomplishment!

It sounds like you and T have a deep therapeutic relationship. She's accepting of your feelings about her and that must feel good. She's sitting with you while you go through this and she'll help you with it. She won't leave you because she doesn't have to choose between you and her friend. The thought of leaving is something in your mind rather than hers. As hard as this is, I think there is great opportunity to learn more about you, to explore your feelings about this. Can you ask her to help you find a way to feel a secure connection withher again?

All that having been said, I still understand and can very much relate to the desparation and panic around the fear of her leaving you and that it seems real because it is so frightening.

((Dustin))

I echo Echoes!

It's nice to see you again. When we peek outside the therapeutic relationship it's such a shock to face reality. But, when you are in-session, for 45 or 50 minutes she is yours alone! Yup, just the two of you exist at that moment and she is there to help and focus on you and only you during that time.

Yeah, it's hard to accept that our T's have lives outside of the therapy room. But just because she does, it doesn't mean your relationship doesn't exist.

I remember I once told T that he existed in his chair and that was it!

Take care.