[onlymedid]

Every time my BF and I have an argument we go to T and talk about it. He wants to figure out how to help me and himself when I get in a "mood". I admit that I do get upset over stupid things sometimes, but I am really trying to work on myself.

Anyways, when we go to talk to T I just sit on the couch with my head down. I feel like I am in trouble or something. Kind of like when you are a kid and get sent to the principals office and another kid is telling on you. I hate it so much, but I know that my BF and I need help with dealing with me when I get like that.

I don't know what to do about it. I keep mulling it over in my head, trying to figure out what I can do to not feel that way, but I just don't know.

I am to embarrassed to talk to T about it. She is like the authority figure who intimidates me...she knows it and is trying to help, but so far it isn't working.

Any ideas? Any thoughts?

Thanks,
BJ

[Mouse_]

ONly time eases that. I've been with my T for nearly 4yrs and still have that authority figure hang-up, BUT outside in the real world, like at home or work, I am different now, I stick up for myself and do not hang my head to anyone.

[onlymedid]

Thanks Mouse,
I haaaate waiting and wish I could feel better now, but I know it is going to be a long process. *sigh*

I am glad you are able to stick up for yourself!

[Kiya]

hmmmm...... Seems like something should be done so that it isn't bf and t against you. do you and t ever talk about bf's "mood" or hang ups or anything?? need to even the playing field here. =(
best!
((((((((((((((((Bj)))))))))))))))))

[sunrise]

Maybe if you had a few sessions alone with T, you could become more comfortable with her and work on overcoming your intimidation of her. This could be the focus of your individual sessions, then when you are comfortable, you could go back to the couples sessions to work on your communication issues with your H.

[Kiya]

[onlymedid]

Thanks you two for the input. I talked about it yesterday with T and BF in the room! I can't believe I did it. T agreed that she didn't want me to feel like she is an authority figure. She said that I should feel comfortable going in, but right now we need to work on communication slowly until I get more comfortable. I have been seeing her for about 4 months now and she is real nice.

My BF doesn't go into every session, just when we need to talk about our relationship.

Thanks again....It helps to have others input on what to do.

BJ

[Kiya]

Yay! Good for you for speaking up!!! Gold Star =)

[chaotic13]

Wow, you are certainly braver than I am. I don't think I could go to therapy with my H at this point. I know exactly what he would do... jump right in on the mood issue and all the things that I am not doing for him. I can't imagine anything my T could due to make me comfortable at that point. I would likely just end up leaving and letting him in there to trash me.

[onlymedid]

Thanks Kiya! I was pretty proud of myself!

[ECHOES]

I told my T that I felt that way too, that I was in the principals office.
For me it is intense shame. Just core shame for even being, existing.
That's why it felt like I was in the principals office... like the shame you would feel if
you were a kid and got in trouble.

It gets better as the trust builds. Hang in there

[onlymedid]

((((Chaotic13)))) It is not easy, but luckily I have a great BF who is pretty helpful and would not want to trash me....he is kinda sweet! LOL

As far as T making me comfortable...she didn't. I just had to take things into my own hands and rule the conversation rather than allow them to talk over me or about me while I sit there. It was NOT easy and I was so scared, but I knew that I would be ok.

I think that you might be able to do it eventually, you just need to feel like you can speak up. That is not easy, I know.

BJ