[Typo]

*Sigh* Okay thearpy was hard this week, we did journal reading, I completly freaked and hid under my hoodie and kept squeezing the little stuff wolf I take with me, I pratically chewed the little guys ear off almost. She kept asking me questions and of course my standard thearpy answer is I don't know. I would love for her to take count and see how many times I say it in one session. She asked why I'm so closed off, if something happened in my childhood to maybe make me that way. and for once I don't know was the truth. I don't know why emotions make me so uncomfterable and I can only communicate what I need through writing. I can talk for hours but I can only really say what I'm feeling if I write it down.

Then she said I was going to have alot of work on reidentifying my identy because I've taken all the depression, anxiety and trauma and made it a part of my identity.

Then of course I was assigned more homework to find something to relax me. She suggested a martial arts class and a pottery class. Martial arts is definatly something I'm interested in or yoga. Of course there is always the excersice class that is next to T's office....it's so funny we we're in the middle of this really deep disscusion and I was zoning in and out and all of a sudden I here techno music and lots of stomping, it sounded like someone was having a party next door. T just sighed looked at her watch and said unforutnatly your going to have to get used to that, it starts everyday at 3:30 and doesn't end till 7 it's the new Zumba exercise class. I just started laughing it sounded like a rave or something. Who knows maybe I'll try the Zumba classes LOL.
But I am having a really hard time with this..finding something to relax me...anyone have any suggestions.

*Sigh* I don't know if I can handle another journal sharing day like today I almost passed out. T also said the deeper we get into the thearpy the less I can detour from the accident and ignore it. she said I have to get to a point where I can talk about it and actually discuss it and even take a feild trip with her to my grandmother's grave. She's really pushing for my parents to come in, but that is not going to happen at all no way ever. I'm stubbron and she's going to learn this is one thing she will not get me to budge on.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Silversparrow

She asked why I'm so closed off, if something happened in my childhood to maybe make me that way. and for once I don't know was the truth. I don't know why emotions make me so uncomfterable and I can only communicate what I need through writing.

Hi Silver, how about the answer being that you never got any practice expressing yourself or that you were "pressured" into not expressing yourself?

I used yoga to relax me and this relaxation exercise. Lie on the floor and tighten and relax your whole body a few times. Then start at your feet and tell each body part to relax and work your way up. After you are all relaxed stay there for a few minutes. I got one of those simple beginner yoga books with pictures. After you get good at this you can just tell yourself to relax when you find yourself getting tense and you can relax at will.

Your identity is still there. It's just buried. As you work on these things and throw them off you will find yourself under there .

[Kiya]

"She suggested a martial arts class and a pottery class. Martial arts is definatly something I'm interested in or yoga. "

Yeah - i also do yoga. There's a pose i really like (and evidently the "younger people" like it most, lol) that is "crockadile". One lies on one's belly, totally stretched out, arms in front, forehead on mat. love it. It is said that having the forehead (or 3rd eye) on the mat (or pillow) allows the emotions out. It is really comforting to me.

[lifeblows]

I never did find anything to help me relax in therapy (other than drinking beforehand). Talking is torture and in some cases absolutely not possible for me. I can write about certain things, but not talk.

I don't think I know how to relax and think it's impossible for my body not to be tense. However, one thing that has helped me tremendously is yoga. Actually my class is a fusion of yoga + pilates. It is one of the only things I find comforting. It provides mental and physical release. Afterwards my body feels like its had a spiritual and muscular massage (but without the ickiness of being touched, I hate people touching me, touching animals is okay though). One girl in my class was able to get off her anti-depressants, yoga helped that much. Animals are another great relaxer. And some kind of art or craft class would be great and feel very therapeutic. I find exercise helps with getting the anger out, but I haven't really found anything to get the sadness out. If I were more artistically talented, I bet some form of art would help with that. Art is very therapeutic.