I just have to share this with people who might understand!

A while back, I painted a box to leave with T. He is always telling me to imagine a container to put my overwhelming feelings, etc. in, so I painted this really pretty box with mandalas and he keeps it in his office. The whole thing was a huge deal at the time that I brought it in (ha! like everything is for me when it comes to T!). It is on his desk, and it means a lot to me that it is there with him. It makes me feel like he is taking care of me when I'm not with him, and like a little piece of me is there with him all the time.

WELL! Today, when I went in for my session, there was this HUGE BOX sitting on his desk. Like a man's shoe box. Someone had covered it in brown paper and written all of these words on it like "serenity" and "hope" and drawn clouds and hearts and stuff on it. I said "someone else has a box" and he said "yes". This box is HUGE (mine is small) and sitting RIGHT BY HIS COMPUTER! The most immature, jealous, young part of me was seething. I am a grown up - I knew my feelings were totally unreasonable, but.... So, I told him that I was jealous because it was right by him and mine was farther way, and that I felt like he liked The Box Person more than me.

He pointed out that my box was sitting with his personal things - his little sand tray, and some little animal figurines he has - sort of nestled in there - while hers was kind of tossed on some files. Well, okay. And he said mine was the catalyst for hers. Whatever.

I did kind of get over it. But towards the end of the session, T reminded me I could put my feelings in my box, and I told him I was going to put my bad feelings in HER box and when she went to put things in there it would be FULL! T laughed and laughed and laughed at my immature comment. I told him I knew I was being mean, and he said "yeah, but you're funny!"

So! Now my box can be filled up with my loving feelings for T, and I'll throw all the bad, scary stuff in her box. I actually did hate putting bad stuff in my box, because I really do like the box. Perfect!!!

[sunrise]

OMG, earthmama, that is so funny!

I love that you had this discussion with your T.

I sure hope the creator of the other box doesn't steal your idea and start putting her bad feelings in your box.

[Kiya]

I like that yours is with his personal things - like it is art.... and her's is in the way and has to get moved around a lot (that would be my immaturities coming out). lol

Sounds like a nice place to put your used tissues.

[tuliptorn]

LOL
That would have bother me too Earthmama.

[tulips30]

I really enjoyed your little story. I'm feeling jealous cause I wish I had the nerve to do something like taking in a box. Someday.......maybe.

[darkrunner]

Earthmama - that is priceless.

How brave of you to admit your feelings so readily. I probably would have waited weeks to work up the courage.

Originally Posted by earthmama

I And he said mine was the catalyst for hers. Whatever.

Maybe you shouldn't be so cavalier about this. Your box was the catalyst for hers which is helping her healing and feel safe. That is a valuable thing, a real contribution. I don't know, maybe I am taking it the wrong way, but it almost seems like your idea has helped another person even if it was anonymously and indirectly. Maybe that is something to be proud of. Just a thought....


ktgirl

[allthegirls6]

This si a great thread. Its made me LOL, i would do the very same thing

[ECHOES]

((( earthmama ))) I love what you did with that situation!

(and your box sounds much prettier, classier, a piece of art!)

So, you're saying that Imitation is not the highest form of Flattery?

Earthmama,
What a classic tale! You are too funny! ROFL

What a great idea, to give your T a box so he keeps a part of you with him at all times! It's really nice that he kept it with him, that he wanted to do this. I know these are my emotions, not thoughts, but I now feel resigned to the feeling that T doesn't want any part of me with him.

I can imagine that the other box from another person must have hurt, because your box and the fact that T kept it was special to you. T was telling you he wanted to be reminded of you, that he was thinking about you and hoping you were doing well even when you weren't there.

Plus, this reminds you that T has other clients, which reminds you that T is clearly breaking a Handbook Rule. You should remind him of this.

Bigger isn't always better, lol. Remember, your box was placed with T's personal things. It must be difficult looking at that box in session. Yes, it is helping someone else and that is good BUT not when it is YOUR T doing the helping. I'm glad you found a good use for it though, lol.

[rebc0310]

This is an interesting thread. I have been seeing my T for several years. Recently we have gotten on a "topic" that has been very difficult for me to talk about. I became overwhelmed outside of session thinking about having to talk about the "topic", taking the memories with me when I left her office and thinking about them all the time.

Two weeks ago she suggested to me that we needed to find a way to put away the "topic" and the emotion related to talking about it. She wanted me to be able to leave it at her office. I was doubtful that it would work.

She removed a beautiful ceramic box from a cabinet in her waiting room and ask if I could leave the "topic" and therapy in the box when I left the session. She told me who had made the box for her and about how heavy the lid was, and how that should help me to feel safe leaving everything with her. She thought this would help me to be able to forget about it until the next session when we could bring it out to talk about again.
I spend a few minutes at the end of each session mentally putting my emotions and memories in the box before I leave her office.

This has helped me not feel so overwhelmed between sessions. She put the box on a high shelf behind her desk so that it wouldn't be disturbed.
I feel safer knowing she hold my memories and sadness in her office.
rebc

[Sannah]

EM, how wonderful that you can be so upfront with your feelings.....

Thanks to ALL of you. I knew people here would understand all of my feelings - the pain of seeing the box and sharing T, the jealousy, the desire for "revenge" against the other box person....and just the fun of laughing with T about it.

I'm so glad T laughed with me when I told him my idea about putting my bad ideas in the other person's box. He was genuinely amused, and it totally made me feel like is was "Me and T" vs. HER.

Ahhhhh, therapy!

[MissCharlotte]

I love this story. I think you should re-name HER box Pandora.

[lifeblows]

That is funny. You made me laugh too. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets jealous over the little stuff like that. It would have bothered me to no end seeing another box in there and I naturally would have assumed hers was better and he liked hers better. Problem is, I wouldn't have had the balls to admit it. Would have acted like it was no big deal or I didn't notice when secretly I was seething, jealous & hurt inside.

[lifeblows]

Originally Posted by rebc0310

This is an interesting thread. I have been seeing my T for several years. Recently we have gotten on a "topic" that has been very difficult for me to talk about. I became overwhelmed outside of session thinking about having to talk about the "topic", taking the memories with me when I left her office and thinking about them all the time.

Two weeks ago she suggested to me that we needed to find a way to put away the "topic" and the emotion related to talking about it. She wanted me to be able to leave it at her office. I was doubtful that it would work.

She removed a beautiful ceramic box from a cabinet in her waiting room and ask if I could leave the "topic" and therapy in the box when I left the session. She told me who had made the box for her and about how heavy the lid was, and how that should help me to feel safe leaving everything with her. She thought this would help me to be able to forget about it until the next session when we could bring it out to talk about again.
I spend a few minutes at the end of each session mentally putting my emotions and memories in the box before I leave her office.

This has helped me not feel so overwhelmed between sessions. She put the box on a high shelf behind her desk so that it wouldn't be disturbed.
I feel safer knowing she hold my memories and sadness in her office.
rebc

I read something like this in a great book on PTSD I recently picked up. It even used examples like filling laundry bags & leaving your dirty laundry with your therapist. I wish mine had tried something like that or the box with me. I always have had a hell of a time dealing with all the overwhelming emotions and issues of talking about stuff in there and would leave my sessions so messed up an unable to shake it off. Best part is, during most of this three years, I'd get to go straight back to work afterwards. Double torture.