[Mouse_]

I was just sitting here this morning before I go to T.....thinking about my anger yesterday and how I was getting visuals of the times I experience anger in therapy and images of T sitting there ...saying nothing and doing nothing...and wondering why in the hell do I "use" that visual?...then I remember something T once said about my anger,...she said how it was never accepted by my adoptive mother and how she would never "see" it....I realised thats it...its not so much the wanting to get what ever the anger maybe about or appear to be about...its wanting someone to "see" the anger....until its witnessed and validated it keeps going around and around and when I think T isn't doing anything, she is infact doing something more important then talking, shes "seeing" my anger, shes allowing it...oh lordy lord!.. I get it....and yesterday I was wanting my hubby to "see " it also, I was saying "look I trust you enought to show you what I'm feeling" though his not as good as T LOL!, ...... therapy is the "Bees-knees" ....

[Mouse_]

So I told T everything about yesterday...about how I knew it was more then just not getting the armchairs...T said "yes its because you felt deprived? you felt vunrable, you were "caught" out wanting and not getting...its about wanting a mothers love ( the comfortable feeling of being held in a snug chair) and not getting it.....then we talked abotu "vunrablity"...man this is a hard one...I noticed I crossed my legs and folded my arms at this point LOL!!!!......I have this nagging fear that I will forget myself in session one day, and get so relaxed and vunrable adn then T will not want me anymore......infact I've just emailed T and told her this....its not an urgent email, which I feel normally being to intimate, just sending a non urgent email...I feel everything must be an emergency or crisis before I merit attention....It feels like taking a risk just to "talk" about issues...acting out seems the easier option at times...but its not working for me so much now...I need to talk about issues in a adult way...perhaps thats a step forward....but I knew I wasn't so shallow as to through a fit just because i didn't get something materialistic...I was just needing the insight to help me deal with it and T has done that today...

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Mouse_

when I think T isn't doing anything, she is infact doing something more important then talking

Tell that to my therapist. He thinks talking is listening. You know, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you comment. He does not know he is not listening. Even if I tell him. He does not see what I mean. I did not know the difference until one time in an early therapy when things changed suddenly for me and I knew what listening to someone else was.

But my therapist at the time thought I was crazy. He convinced me (he being the authority) that I did not know what was in my own mind, and that he did, and that what he was doing was "for my own good". He said so. Others backed him up.

A therapist can be a very powerful person in the mind of a patient. Opposing them means going out on a very long limb, where you may find yourself totally alone in the world. Many, many people will tell you that you are wrong and "they" cannot be wrong. And thus the mind (mine, anyway) is thrown into a tailspin from which it may never recover.

After all, maybe they are right. And then it is all due to your own "weakness" anyway -- and we know how unforgivable weakness is.

[Mouse_]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

Tell that to my therapist. He thinks talking is listening. You know, I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk, I talk, you comment. He does not know he is not listening. Even if I tell him. He does not see what I mean. I did not know the difference until one time in an early therapy when things changed suddenly for me and I knew what listening to someone else was.

But my therapist at the time thought I was crazy. He convinced me (he being the authority) that I did not know what was in my own mind, and that he did, and that what he was doing was "for my own good". He said so. Others backed him up.

A therapist can be a very powerful person in the mind of a patient. Opposing them means going out on a very long limb, where you may find yourself totally alone in the world. Many, many people will tell you that you are wrong and "they" cannot be wrong. And thus the mind (mine, anyway) is thrown into a tailspin from which it may never recover.

After all, maybe they are right. And then it is all due to your own "weakness" anyway -- and we know how unforgivable weakness is.

Pachy, I think a therapist needs to listen...to allow us to find our own way in our own time! and they can be wrong and if they can't own that then your a better person them him/her!!

[MissCharlotte]

((Pachy))

He convinced me (he being the authority) that I did not know what was in my own mind, and that he did

I truly have come to believe that it's only from our own "knowing" that we can begin to believe in ourselves. T can be our witness/our guide and even a challenge that makes us think....but listening is the best thing they can do.

[MissCharlotte]

Mouse,

I feel everything must be an emergency or crisis before I merit attention..

Perfect description of our needy selves. I belong to this club.