I hate it when P-doc tries to normalize everything.

"Hey P-Doc. I cut off my arm and tried to make a third leg with it."

"Oh, lots of people do that, Orange. It's not that uncommon."

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( orange_Blossom )))))))))
I am sorry your pdoc does that, mine is quite the opposite actually which makes me feel really odd but I don't think I would like the normalizing either, I really think there needs to be a balance between the two.

[ECHOES]

Oh, this is a current difficulty with me!! I know somewhere in this brain that she is saying that because she thinks it makes me feel like I'm one with humanity or something, but in my mind I hear "You're nobody special" and I really hate that and I have been struggling with it!

((( Orange )))

[sittingatwatersedge]

oh... I live for the nomalizing comment.,=...

I told revealed something extremely difficult, *didn't* hear any normalizing comment, & I freaked out. Oh no, that means I'm really that sick... then I went off and did some research on my own, found out that it was actually quite common, and I raged at my T. "Couldn't you tell me it was common?! Why couldn't you tell me?!" not good. I live to hear that lots of people do that.

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I live to hear that lots of people do that.

My T, I think in an attempt to get me to see that I am not as odd as I think, told me that had 3 other women dealing with a similar issue. I interpreted this comment as...I being just another weak, pathetic women who never sticks up for herself and demand that her needs be considered. I also thought... great she saying she i totally bored hearing another version of the same story. I did not like the image that her comment created.

It doesn't bother me that my T has many other patients... I just don't want to be compared to them.

[Mouse_]

Yes this is a painful thing...I had an incident in therapy yesterday where I was struggling with something and T didn't seem to be "acting" the role I have always been accustomed to growing up, you know like family of origing making a drama out of a crisis and then I'd feel all hurt and misunderstood and would revert to self pity, because that was the only way I could get any kind of caring from my own generated self pity and I wanted, of course on an unconsious level for T to make a drama out my crisis so the self pity could kick in...and was I angry for a while until I'd found the courage to let go of that old behaviour and really believe that T is doing this because in the long run its the best way forward for me...it took work to let go and to see that underneath the old behaviours and believes, a new one has to grow and that is that no matter what i "THINK", what I am going through is painful and T does appricate that and she is there for me, but she wont be there in the way my family of origin use to be...shes teaching me to live as an adult, which will be so much more easier then the pain I experience at times from the stunted emotional child that lives within me....so though it seems uncaring when our issues are normalised, its actually the kindest act they can do for us...as painful as our wounded inner child feels it to be!

Ha! I'd be lucky if mine said, "That's normal." He just keeps taking notes. And he asks the same questions every session, so you would think if he suddenly got a different answer, he be slightly alarmed at best... during the last session he said, "suicidal thoughts?" I usually say, "Some ideation, but no plan or intent." This time I said, "Well, I closed my eyes while I was driving." He just kept writing and then went onto the next question.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom

I hate it when P-doc tries to normalize everything.

"Hey P-Doc. I cut off my arm and tried to make a third leg with it."

"Oh, lots of people do that, Orange. It's not that uncommon."

Orange, you are something else!

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Mouse_

I wanted, of course on an unconsious level for T to make a drama out my crisis so the self pity could kick in...and was I angry for a while until I'd found the courage to let go of that old behaviour and really believe that T is doing this because in the long run its the best way forward for me...it took work to let go and to see that underneath the old behaviours and believes, a new one has to grow

Mouse, you are something else too. Really. I'm very impressed. FWIW.

[kim_johnson]

i guess it can be hard to find the balance point between normal vs different, regular vs special etc.

on the one hand one doesn't like to feel like a freak...
on the other hand one wants to feel special...

so hard...

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom

I hate it when P-doc tries to normalize everything.

"Hey P-Doc. I cut off my arm and tried to make a third leg with it."

"Oh, lots of people do that, Orange. It's not that uncommon."

LOL...
Sometimes I'm cool with it, and other times when my T does it I want to kick him in the shins.

[phoenix7]

I think also if we are feeling a little insecure (a little! ) then whatever they say can be misinterpreted - my old T after I had told him about being abused as a child and that I was ashamed of he said oh tha's nothing I've heard a lot worse - hmmm translated for me - geez you wimp get over it why are you wasting my time! -

the same with suicidal thoughts - he said - well we all have thoses thoughts sometime! eek ! you mean everyones as crazy as me?! so I asked a few people and they hadnt had those types of thoughts - guess he was just trying to make me feel less crazy -

I think a lot of the time we (I) am doing a balancing act and whatever the T says will be misinterpreted by me - there's that insecurity again! LOL

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by phoenix7

I think also if we are feeling a little insecure (a little! ) then whatever they say can be misinterpreted - my old T after I had told him about being abused as a child and that I was ashamed of he said oh tha's nothing I've heard a lot worse - hmmm translated for me - geez you wimp get over it why are you wasting my time! -

the same with suicidal thoughts - he said - well we all have thoses thoughts sometime! eek ! you mean everyones as crazy as me?! so I asked a few people and they hadnt had those types of thoughts - guess he was just trying to make me feel less crazy -

I think a lot of the time we (I) am doing a balancing act and whatever the T says will be misinterpreted by me - there's that insecurity again! LOL

Yeah I think it has to do with HOW my T "normalizes" (if that's even the right word) what screwed up thing I tell him on any given day. Sometimes my T did misinterpret, but I'm always quick to set him straight. Usually it's because my rapid-fire ADHD thoughts that escape my brain don't always come across clear. Usually he's very good and even understands my abstractions.

Usually the thought process you described above about thinking yourself a wimp isn't anything near what the T actually said or even meant; that's more along the lines of how someone feels about themselves while they are in an insecure state of mind (as in when one feels depressed or anxious).

The only problem I would ever have with this is if a T were to LIE to me about something being "normal" when it's not. My T has never done that before, and I don't think most T's would ever think of it as it would negatively affect the therapy to be caught lying like that.

[phoenix7]

yep I think Lieing would finish it for me - or betraying a confidence - I dont really think my T thought i was wasting his time (i hope not ) but I second guess everything and look for hidden meaning when I am over anxious - which is a lot of the time -

"good to see you" - hey what did you mean by that ? good to see you cos you're sooooooooo crazy you shouldnt really be allowed out without a keeper and a lead! LOL I have to keep reminding myself that people sometimes DO mean what they say.

I guess it comes down to i dont think i deserve to take up time someone else could use more productivly or take time from someone who needs it more - and so i lay a guilt trip on myself before I even go into the office - and then replay things in my head later and overanalyse them - but hey i guess thats one of the reasons I need therapy LOL

[ECHOES]

"good to see you" - hey what did you mean by that ?

LOL p7 !!

It reminds me of a time I was complaining about a person I knew who has a doctorate in phychology and we had a writing relationship. This person analyzed me all the time and I thought it was over the top. So I said to T--You don't do that all the time, do you?! She said oh sure.. at dinner when someone says please pass the salt, I think .. hmmm, I wonder what he meant by that.. LOL

[phoenix7]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

So I said to T--You don't do that all the time, do you?! She said oh sure.. at dinner when someone says please pass the salt, I think .. hmmm, I wonder what he meant by that.. LOL

you made me smile ehoes on a day when I needed it - thankyou
(Must remember not to ask for salt! LOL)

[ECHOES]

((( p7 )))

I'm glad you appreciated my T's sense of humor. I love when we share a laugh in therapy