point to ponder

sunrise · Dec 13, 2008, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kim_johnson

I guess I don't like the focus on economic arrangement (payment)... reflecting on the payment kind of demeans it / undermines it.

Have your therapists focused on the economic arrangement? Mine haven't. For example, my current T talked about payment only at our first session (setting the frame). He told me he had found it worked best if the client paid him at the beginning of each session, so that's what I do, and that cash or check is fine. We've never had to discuss it since. The focus of therapy is on the relationship and healing. I think if you don't want to reflect on the payment, then don't bring up that topic. If your T keeps bringing it up, maybe you could share your feelings on that and ask that those money discussions not take up so much time.

Simcha · Dec 13, 2008, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

not sure I would agree with this but it's something I ran across somewhere
“Therapy is an arrangement in which a patient pays a doctor some money which obligates the doctor to listen and keeps him from going away, no matter how badly he is treated or what the patient says to him. After a while the patient gets to feel guilty over the way he’s been acting towards this doctor. After all, even if the doctor is paid to listen and takes all the abuse, he is still a person. So the patient begins to look at how he acts and tries to be nicer to the doctor. And then after a while the patient starts being nicer even to people he isn’t paying to listen to him. And that’s what therapy is.”

I don't know where you got this excerpt, but it's not true. It's also not scientifically valid, as it's someone's stated opinion and not an actual concept.

Is there some question here, or did it just bother you to read this?

kim_johnson · Dec 13, 2008, 08:15 PM

only once has it been an issue...

my t in australia (the p-doc) has a administrator so i see her with payments (optimal arrangement, i think).

the one who i saw here (who ended up not continuing because she wasn't able to offer me a sliding scale i could afford)... it felt... the whole thing felt cheapened somehow. first time i gave her cash at the end. it felt like paying a prostitute (not that i've done that but it really didn't feel good). second time i payed at the end too... but i really didn't like it. probably something of my issues... but i felt like she was just getting through the session to get the money....

tis hard because i've always had to try and negotiate sliding scales (a complication to be sure)

Simcha · Dec 13, 2008, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kim_johnson

I guess I don't like the focus on economic arrangement (payment). because... i find the relationship to be most beneficial and hence reflecting on the payment kind of demeans it / undermines it.

(I know that many therapists have a rant on how payment helps them feel valued and helps the client value the therapist and so on and so forth. i feel that this is largely their attempt to justify their focus on money).

I don't think that any relationship (any healthy relationship) is unconditional. i think there must be limits. therapist punches me in the face - therapy is over. i don't go back. i punch therapist in the face - therapy is over. i don't go back. any healthy relationship needs limits... if therapist is only there for the paycheck then (in my experience) therapist isn't really there. and if client pushes the therapists limits of what they can get away with in therapy... well... there are some limits that result in a termination of contract (ugh how economics).

being nicer to others...

an interesting take on therapy :-)

In many countries there is no financial agreement. Canada, the UK, and France are just three countries I can think of of the top of my head where they don't have to pay out of pocket or have private health insurance, as the government provides all healthcare as an obligation.

That would be ideal here too. We'll have to see what the future holds for us here in the US after Obama takes office.

I should mention I've never had an economic conflict with my T, even when catching up on past due amounts. The focus has always been the therapy itself.

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