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#1
Dec 17, 2008, 09:38 AM
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How many have had a t give them a gift? If so, was it for a holiday, your birthday, or for object relations help?
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#2
Dec 17, 2008, 10:21 AM
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Hmmm. My T has given me marbles from a bowl in his office as transitional objects. Right now, I have an eagle totem from his desk, but I'm not sure if that is a permanent gift or a loan
 Teacher T gave me her mala beads for a week, but they were a loan.T has written me lots of little notes to take home and I have all of those together in a little book. They feel like little gifts. Just his presence in session, his availability to me outside of session, and his unconditional caring and attention feel like gifts, although I don't think that's what you meant exactly... 
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#3
Dec 17, 2008, 10:23 AM
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my therapist has given me both birthday and christmas gifts...actually something of value to me and one of my alters (a child of 5)...they are gifts of things which she feels hold meaning and value and are great. last year for christmas we got "its a wonderful life" dvd since she said we spent alot of time telling her we flet like we didn't matter and she said we did.
we usually try to get her something too...this year our brain is worn out from the stress of the year (overmedication, memory loss of 9 months, brain damage etc) and cash is tight so instead we got her dog something....we donated to a basset rescue and had an ornament made for her (she's a lab). she is an awesome therapist and we feel so blessed to have her work with us |
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#4
Dec 17, 2008, 10:25 AM
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well... she hasn't terminated me, does that count?
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#5
Dec 17, 2008, 12:30 PM
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I haven't received any bday or christmas gifts from my T, however when we were discussing the therapy relationship and how hard it was for me to know that it was real and I said I needed something set in stone to show me that it was a mutual relationship. In response T dug through her purse and found her worry stone and gave it to me, to me it was very special.
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#6
Dec 17, 2008, 03:29 PM
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Quote:
No, my T hasn't given me any monetary gifts. But what she has given me is her time, above and beyond what I've paid for. Encouragement on a Sunday afternoons, how can I not see that as a gift?... My list of gifts from her was very long this year.
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
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#7
Dec 17, 2008, 03:34 PM
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does the candy dish on the receptionist's desk count?
I raid it every visit... |
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#8
Dec 17, 2008, 04:37 PM
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My previous T gave me a gift at Easter - a water globe that said "You make everything sweeter" because I used to collect water globes but my brother went through in a rage and smashed them years previous. She also gave me a water globe at Christmas. I've also gotten birthday cards from her as well.
Right now I have 2 T's. One of them gave me cupcakes for my birthday! We had a little celebration together because her birthday is exactly 2 weeks before mine. The thing I appreciate the most is the extra time and energy they give me when I need them. Though the objects help a lot as well. |
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#9
Dec 17, 2008, 04:42 PM
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my t's gift is to put up with me - I think thats more than enough
(although she does give me extra time when I need it - so I guess that means she needs therapy- i wouldnt put up with me for more than an hour unless they paid me squillions! - LOL )
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#10
Dec 17, 2008, 10:02 PM
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We have received small "kid gifts fairly frequently...pooh pencils, a hacky-sack, bubble necklace...stuff like that, for child alters. She as also given us a small rock with the chinese character for courage carved into it...this is always in a pocket. Last May she gave me a "real gift"...wrapped with a bow. It was a torquios and freshwater pearl necklace and was given to me the session after my graduation from Jr. college. That was the only gift in 7 years of therapy...and I was EXTREMELY surprised.
__________________
~Just another one of many~ |
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#11
Dec 17, 2008, 10:53 PM
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No bought gifts from T.
She did, however, give me a transitional object after a really hard session recently. The ability to keep her presence with me between sessions was a huge gift.
__________________
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#12
Dec 17, 2008, 11:44 PM
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Usually on holidays, or on my birthday, T just writes out a check and tells me to go spend it on whatever I want cause he doesn't really know what to get me.
(Just kidding). For my last birthday, it was really cute-- he made a copy of a CD for me that he knew I would like and wrote "Happy Birthday" on the CD-- and he gave me a plate of fruit/cupcake. He has given me lots and lots of books, as well as and copies of CDs (mostly classical music), journal articles, and even two movies. They have all had special meaning, very personal reasons as to why he picked each particular thing. Oh my, I suddenly got an inspiration to make him another mix CD to give him in session tomorrow. I think I'll do that before bed. It will be centered around songs that have meant the most to me since my Dad died. |
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#13
Dec 18, 2008, 01:29 AM
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Quote:
What T keeps a totem pole in their office? I think I HAVE to meet your T now Earthy... lol
__________________
--SIMCHA |
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#14
Dec 18, 2008, 02:36 AM
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T gave my H and I gifts on two different occasions. Once he brought us a huge bouquet of flowers from his garden and had us divide it in two, stem by stem, and each take half. Message: you can create two beautiful somethings from one. Another time, he made us each a little divorce survival kit, which were envelopes with symbolic items in them. He's big into symbolism and has tried to get us through this in as humane a way a possible.
He has never given me a tangible gift of my own, but I love his intangibles. I guess he has given me food before, like the carrot cake he gave me a couple of weeks ago when I hadn't eaten all day. And he gave me an orange once and chocolate chip cookies and some filberts. And one time he went downstairs to the cafe and bought me a big bottle of water before I got there, because he knows how I like to always have water at hand. I like the food--it makes me feel homey and cared for.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#15
Dec 18, 2008, 06:54 AM
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Quote:
No, no totem pole. It's actually a Zuni eagle fetish....an eagle carved out of a piece of rock...it's small, maybe an inch long, probably smaller than that. It has lots and lots of amazing detail and symbols carved on it. I've looked at them online and I think it's really expensive, so I'm a little nervous having it  He has a whole collection of fetishes on his desk...little me likes to hold them and play with them 
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 Simcha
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#16
Dec 18, 2008, 07:08 AM
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My previous T went travelling a lot and sometimes brought small little gifts back from her travels. I remember some small blue glass bottles that she brought back from Hungary... she put some in her office and gave us some for our home. Another time she gave us some stones from Bali. She gave us lots of little things like that from her travels.
She also gave us a soft toy unicorn and a t-shirt with her centre's logo on it one Christmas. The best gifts by far were her time and attention and her love. |
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#17
Dec 18, 2008, 10:15 AM
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As you all are mentioning different office objects, it made me think of something my T said this week. When I gave her the picture I created, she look at it a moment asked a few questions about it, then asked if she could display it. She looked around the room and casually said everything here has a purpose. I scanned the room and said, I know that, I'm like that too.
As I was leaving, I noticed on the wall behind the ugly couch a slate like etching that had a dove and the word peace written on it. I hadn't noticed that before because it was directly behind where I sit. In the image I had given her, I represented her as a dove...I know that is a common association but I found it weird just the same. I guess I'm am not so different from the others after all. The other funny thing was after she mentioned that everything had a purpose, she immediately followed this comment with ..."even that painting..a lot of people comment that they do not like it." She wasn't looking at me at the time so I don't think my reaction lead that follow-up comment. But my first thought after her purpose comment was... 'I wish she would find a new place for that ...impressionist--woman's face painting that is looks at me the whole session.' LOL It was just one of those weird quick exchanges that leave you feeling like there was a brief telepathic link between us for a minute. Spock's mind meld. LOL
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
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#18
Dec 18, 2008, 01:53 PM
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Ok, now I will feel sorry for myself. No gifts from T, and no touch either. I have given him many poems that I wrote, and he always makes a show of putting them away where he says he will save them until I am famous. Today I told him that then he could sell them on Ebay.
Hmmmm, I'm just thinking aloud here but I know a lot more about T than many others. His disclosure has helped me to see him as a person. So, maybe he gives me the gift of himself! 
__________________
 [/url] |
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#19
Dec 18, 2008, 01:55 PM
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((((((((((((((((((((Miss C))))))))))))))))))))))))
I think the gift of T, himself, is the best gift of all.
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#20
Dec 18, 2008, 04:01 PM
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My therapist treats the pictures and writings that I give to her for safe keeping/accountability as gifts.
Her understanding and compassion and warmth and responsiveness are the most precious gifts that she gives me. |
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#21
Dec 18, 2008, 08:55 PM
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My current T no gifts but Steve used to buy me cigarettes. He'd get me cigarettes for my birthday, Christmas and if I did good in school.
Jan
__________________
I appreciate long walks especially when taken by people who annoy me. Noel Coward |
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#22
Dec 18, 2008, 10:44 PM
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My t has given me books and CD's on "loan" not to keep. But it felt like a huge gift to my heart at the time.
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#23
Dec 19, 2008, 02:19 AM
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Quote:
I don't want my T to give me anything as a "transitional object" as I'd be scared to death of breaking or losing it. I haven't had any gifts from my T, but I don't want anything other than for what the guy already does, which is listen in his oh-so-therapist way.
__________________
--SIMCHA |
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