When do you know T has crossed a line

I am female. I have a new T. I've seen him for 4 months now. I like him a lot. He is very different from anyone I've ever worked with before (I've been "in the system" for 25 years, so there have been a lot).
He is very irreverent, which I like. He says the F word, occasionally. He teases me, a bit. He will laugh at me, when any other T would have tipped toed around me. I love all that.
Speaking of 'love', he tells me that he loves me. Unconditionally. But, it does not feel "creepy" when he says it. For one thing he doesn't say it as some huge revelation. Just, like, "well I love ya no matter what, just be yourself! Tell me anything. Don't want ya to please me, I'll love ya whatever ya do" Along those lines. So, I'm OK with it.
But he also tells me I'm pretty. That was OK the first time. Then he said it again a month or so later. I just said thanks and moved on.
It didn't feel like he was coming on to me, but I can be kind of clueless about stuff like that and then all of a sudden I've got someone with a huge crush on me and I have no idea why I never saw it coming.
I don't want to bring it up. But if he says it one more time, I think I am going to have to address it. Or am I just being paranoid?

Maybe I'm just flattering myself. It's not that I'm all that great looking or anything--I'm average, I guess. He is not a very attractive man, so I'm sure if we were in the "real world" he would probably think he had a chance with me.

I just like him a lot and was really burned by my last T and really, really need someone I can trust right now. I really, really thought I could trust my last T. So, I feel like I really, really can't trust myself to know who I can trust!!

Does anyone have any thoughts?

honestly if it was me i'd be running screaming for the hills...but hey my issues have issues!

seriously it would kind of freak me out. i too had problems with my first t crossing some ethical boundaries and being inapporpritate so i am super sensitive to how and what they say. like you i guess i would let the first one slide but if it kept getting addressed then i would put my guard up. to me if it feels wrong to you then it is wrong..hell it;s your therapy...not his.

my t now is a great woman..we were talking one day and she told me she wants to be my friend and i totally lost it (inside..outside i was as calm as a totally disassociated person could be)...now she is nice, never done anything inappropriate or harmful (don't expect her too) but that just scared the bejeebers out of me...i was able to tell her about it the next session and she explained what she meant and i was okay (altho regretfully i did have to return the international coffees i bought and the fancy glade candles since it seemed she wasn't coming over for quality time like people do on tv...damn!)

idk, but i kinda feel like stumpy....if it was me i'd probably run...it just doesn't sound like he's got his ethics in the right place. when we are seeking help from a t, obviously we are vulnerable. there's no way, imho, that i believe they should do anything that should cause us to question what is meant.

i'd probably just say that it made me feel uncomfortable if he said it again.

my pdoc has told me i'm pretty a few times, and i know he does not mean it in a "coming on to me" kind of way. rather, he's kind of said it in the context of trying to lift my self esteem a bit? e.g. "you're young, intelligent, employed, pretty, studying towards a further degree etc". so for me there has been no ambiguity.

i dont think you necessarily need to run, just be open about your reaction if he says it again.

yep if it makes you feel uncomfortable - then you should say so - its hard to do but if its bothering you try to say so. P7

Hi Lbien,

I think your gut instinct is that you really can't trust this T, and I feel you have good reason not to trust him or at least be very leary.

Your story sounds like the beginning of my therapy, my T used to say and do those things too. Then things progressed to more, and the longer it went on the harder it was to leave.
Almost 2 years later since I fired him, after becoming severely depressed due me leaving him, it took forever to get past the worst of it. If you can find another T, it will save you a lot of potential heartbreak. I am seeing a women T who has very strong boundaries and it is the best thing I have ever done. My T and I are looking into bringing charges against him to the APA.
I was so hurt and damaged by what my T did to me, and it sounds like your T could have the potential to do the same thing. Please be careful, please find another T. After just 4 months, it will be easier to leave him now than later...