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#1
Jan 26, 2009, 11:30 AM
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I went to T today with my fear. I admitted how paranoid I am with one of my twin daugthers aged 15. I said I feel angry at her almost, afraid she is going to bring trouble to my home..T said, you feel she is putting her self at risk? engaging in risky things? I said, yeah, but she isn't, I know she isn't but my head wont listen ... T said, its you when you were her age that put herself at risk, its you that engaged in risky behaviours...then wham it hit me, the yrs I spent in a drunkern haze, by 15 I was a nightly drinker and passing out and having to sleep where I dropped...I said, but, but I thought I was having fun but it wasn't fun, it was bloody awful and I couldnt talk for ages, I was seeing all my past but with saddness this time...I said, but why didnt I see how awful my life was then? T said, because no one showed you anything different...she asked if Had been afraid then? I said, well I guess, but I was so drunk I never felt it...but yeah looking back now with my adult eyes, it was pure hell!! and then I said, and I can see my daughters life is nothign like my life...T nodded...I actually told T I cant talk at the moment, I feel shell shocked....I came home and felt like kissing all my walls and floors and being so thankful for my life now!!....I'm glad its finally consious just how awful my youth was...Its been chasing me like a stranger in the shadows...oh god, I dont know why I got a second chance, but I am so thankful I have!...I never, ever want to have to live with feelings like I use to have...geez I am so fortunate to have a T that is right on the button, who sits patiently waiting for me to be ready for every stage we reach....man I would die if any of my kids were lying drunk out in the street somewhere, where the hell was my parents!!....
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#2
Jan 26, 2009, 01:26 PM
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Mouse,
I'm glad you had such an insight from your therapy appointment. It was a case of allowing your past to influence your feelings about your daughter's present. It's amazing how entangled these things are, isn't it? Yet it's a lightbulb moment when we realize where our problems and pain are coming from and can work on them. It sounds like your teen years were very difficult and you were doing what you could to avoid acknowledging the pain. I'm also very glad that you had a second chance. 
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 Mouse_
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#3
Jan 26, 2009, 04:50 PM
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I'm experiencing some of that with my own children too. A girl who likes my son and who has been calling the house a zillion times a day showed up in the neighborhood this weekend with an another girl. The ended up hanging around the house all day. When I talk to her she seems like a nice girl, but I really struggle with not judging her to be like me at that age. Part of me is like stay away from my son, he doesn't need to learn how to handle the likes of you yet. LOL
I really have to step back and say...its OK, she is not you, just keep an eye on things. |
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#4
Jan 26, 2009, 05:28 PM
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Im glad you had a productive session, and your T sounds great! can you clone him and send me a copy please LOL
 Isnt it funny how somthing that you would never think would, triggers a memory then an insight and then hopefully a move forward - I guess some triggers can be good. - take care P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#5
Jan 27, 2009, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#6
Jan 27, 2009, 09:45 AM
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Mouse,
I don't have any children, so don't know what I have of value to offer to this thread. But I wanted you to know I am reading it and interested. |
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#7
Jan 28, 2009, 01:21 AM
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Just wanted to tell you I feel happy for you. And Gratitude is such a Beautiful thing.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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