[imapatient]

Another barrier to disclosure is here on this and other Boards.

I had an ex-girlfriend who stalked me and as part of that took action to disrupt my therapy relationship with Old T. She succeeded in bringing it to an end, as my Old T noted at the time. A complicated scenario.

I fear that she's stalking me here now. Hence I feel like I can't be open here about my feelings about personal stuff here because she will contact my Old T, contact my NYC T (old, old T), maybe my old pdoc, APA, or the Board with information--real or imagined--to mess with my life and therapy again. I fear that if I talk about thoughts/fantasies/etc. of self-harm (however benign) she’ll call the cops in order to get me committed.

She's responded to a few posts of mine here with overdriven interest for someone otherwise unknown to me, with seemingly more info that a stranger here would know, and with a level of advice and judgmental attitude beyond what a stranger should have.

In the past her main method of stalking me was internet-based. She spent what must have been dozens of hours to find if I had a Yahoo profile, finding both despite the info being very indirect. Then she searched to see if my T had a profile--WTF? Who would imagine that and want to search for one?--and found one that she thought was hers. Dozens of hours for that.

She had a vendetta against me as her ex- for breaking up with her; with my T for refusing to make an appt with her. Purely by coincidence did she pick mine out of 1500-2000 T’s in the area.

Then using my Yahoo profile info and what she thought was my T’s she found this fantasy website I created using a fictitious character using some traits of my T. Called me and told me it proved I was having an affair with my T (WTF? Paranoia strikes deep). Hence, the reason I broke up with her was because I was sleeping with my T. She also searched some Yahoo groups relating to psychology, and found a post I’d made 3 years earlier asking—of the Group’s mental health pro’s how to deal with my transference attraction issues. No harm, right? Normal to ask about—hordes ask about it here.

She printed off the fantasy website and the post to a Group went to a T, told her what she thought about my relationship with my T. That T called the Board about my T and faxed the info to my T. Ultimately my T terminated.

In this whole time frame, someone—female-- sent me some sexually provocative emails on Yahoo that I’m sure came from her.

In the past she had created a fake online personals ID and sent me a message from it (we were broken up at the time)—she knew I’d been on that site before. When we were going out (2nd time around—everything here is from the 2nd time other than the fake personals thing), she left a message on my phone telling me off because she saw that I'd been active on the personals site (for the first time in 8 months)--I was cleaning up messages, and looking into the profile that I started to suspect had been her. I wanted to review it and the profile because she was getting weird again. So we talked and I thought we were all cool. Then I went on the site again the next night to close the account. She left another message in the middle of the night saying she'd seen me on again. So: To see that I was on, she had to have been on. I doubt that by chance her first time logging onto the site was just after I had for the 1st time in 8 months. Obviously she was watching my profile on that site trying to catch me “trying to cheat.”

I’m politically active, and she knew what issues I was interested/involved in, and a Group that I was a member of. She started showing up to events listed on the web that she knew I’d likely be at. Some events were ones where I was speaking. Public events, everyone could come. But some of these things were very obscure and way out of the way for where she would typically be. Just no connection for her to the event, group, issue. Then she started joining other groups I was a member of. One group I’d been very involved with, but had dialed back my involvement greatly. But it would’ve looked to someone outside that I was still very involved. She became very involved.

So, I don't think I can open up here about my personal issues, as much as I've been desperate to do so. It's a great community here; a real resource. I've been trying to be supportive of others, but I feel like it isn't safe for me here. When she's responded it triggers me--even if it isn't her, the behavior seems odd and the possibility that it's her troubles me.

I don’t feel I can be open here. It’s too bad.

[phoenix7]

can you let the administrators know who you think it is? maybe that would help?

i'm really sorry to hear this imp. that sucks.

[pegasus]

(((((((( imapatient ))))))))

Please let Admin know if you are being stalked or harassed by anyone here. This is a safe community.

[deliquesce]

((((imp))))

you know you can always pm me. i know i havent been that available lately, but i am trying to get my act together. like others have suggested, maybe contact admin with your suspicions?

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

((((imp))))

you know you can always pm me. i know i havent been that available lately, but i am trying to get my act together. like others have suggested, maybe contact admin with your suspicions?

Thanks people. I should clarify that I haven't been harassed nor stalked other than some not inappropriate to anyone posts to me about my situation. And those are only stalking in my eyes to me--who knows what’s going on; to everyone else it would look innocent. So there's nothing that can be done, really. I take it as potential stalking--if it's her--but it hasn't become harassment. If you've experienced it, you just feel like you always need to look over your shoulder. It's the sense of being watched, and in my case, knowing what the person is capable of doing.

imp, i just wanted to say that what you shared about the board or apa being contacted about your old t having an affair with you as a patient probably has a lot to do with why she terminated you so abruptly. she was probably quite afraid of losing her license to practice therapy. that would be a huge reason for her to terminate.

in all fairness to your ex, if your t had been having an affair with you then your ex did do the right thing by having it reported. it may not have been so much a desire to mess with your life as concern for you, and of course her relationship with you.

take care of yourself.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by imapatient

Another barrier to disclosure is here on this and other Boards.

I had an ex-girlfriend who stalked me and as part of that took action to disrupt my therapy relationship with Old T. She succeeded in bringing it to an end, as my Old T noted at the time. A complicated scenario.

I fear that she's stalking me here now. Hence I feel like I can't be open here about my feelings about personal stuff here because she will contact my Old T, contact my NYC T (old, old T), maybe my old pdoc, APA, or the Board with information--real or imagined--to mess with my life and therapy again. I fear that if I talk about thoughts/fantasies/etc. of self-harm (however benign) she’ll call the cops in order to get me committed.

She's responded to a few posts of mine here with overdriven interest for someone otherwise unknown to me, with seemingly more info that a stranger here would know, and with a level of advice and judgmental attitude beyond what a stranger should have.

In the past her main method of stalking me was internet-based. She spent what must have been dozens of hours to find if I had a Yahoo profile, finding both despite the info being very indirect. Then she searched to see if my T had a profile--WTF? Who would imagine that and want to search for one?--and found one that she thought was hers. Dozens of hours for that.

She had a vendetta against me as her ex- for breaking up with her; with my T for refusing to make an appt with her. Purely by coincidence did she pick mine out of 1500-2000 T’s in the area.

Then using my Yahoo profile info and what she thought was my T’s she found this fantasy website I created using a fictitious character using some traits of my T. Called me and told me it proved I was having an affair with my T (WTF? Paranoia strikes deep). Hence, the reason I broke up with her was because I was sleeping with my T. She also searched some Yahoo groups relating to psychology, and found a post I’d made 3 years earlier asking—of the Group’s mental health pro’s how to deal with my transference attraction issues. No harm, right? Normal to ask about—hordes ask about it here.

She printed off the fantasy website and the post to a Group went to a T, told her what she thought about my relationship with my T. That T called the Board about my T and faxed the info to my T. Ultimately my T terminated.

In this whole time frame, someone—female-- sent me some sexually provocative emails on Yahoo that I’m sure came from her.

In the past she had created a fake online personals ID and sent me a message from it (we were broken up at the time)—she knew I’d been on that site before. When we were going out (2nd time around—everything here is from the 2nd time other than the fake personals thing), she left a message on my phone telling me off because she saw that I'd been active on the personals site (for the first time in 8 months)--I was cleaning up messages, and looking into the profile that I started to suspect had been her. I wanted to review it and the profile because she was getting weird again. So we talked and I thought we were all cool. Then I went on the site again the next night to close the account. She left another message in the middle of the night saying she'd seen me on again. So: To see that I was on, she had to have been on. I doubt that by chance her first time logging onto the site was just after I had for the 1st time in 8 months. Obviously she was watching my profile on that site trying to catch me “trying to cheat.”

I’m politically active, and she knew what issues I was interested/involved in, and a Group that I was a member of. She started showing up to events listed on the web that she knew I’d likely be at. Some events were ones where I was speaking. Public events, everyone could come. But some of these things were very obscure and way out of the way for where she would typically be. Just no connection for her to the event, group, issue. Then she started joining other groups I was a member of. One group I’d been very involved with, but had dialed back my involvement greatly. But it would’ve looked to someone outside that I was still very involved. She became very involved.

So, I don't think I can open up here about my personal issues, as much as I've been desperate to do so. It's a great community here; a real resource. I've been trying to be supportive of others, but I feel like it isn't safe for me here. When she's responded it triggers me--even if it isn't her, the behavior seems odd and the possibility that it's her troubles me.

I don’t feel I can be open here. It’s too bad.

Can't you disguise yourself?
I don't post really sensitive issues on here in their entire detail either.

Do you live somewhere else now? I'd suggest it if possible. Stalkers are hard to get rid of and dangerous. I'd file police action to keep them away too. RESTRAINING ORDER type stuff as well.

And NEVER interact with her in any way from now on man. She's not quite right and I'd be worried too. What's your T say?

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by pegasus

(((((((( imapatient ))))))))

Please let Admin know if you are being stalked or harassed by anyone here. This is a safe community.

I DIDDO THIS!

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by reflection

in all fairness to your ex, if your t had been having an affair with you then your ex did do the right thing by having it reported. it may not have been so much a desire to mess with your life as concern for you, and of course her relationship with you.
take care of yourself.

This can be said of anyone in therapy. Maybe you're having an affair. Should I report you because the thought enters my mind? Not out of a desire to mess with your life, but because it's possible?

The ex- had no reason whatsoever to suspect something. She suggested no reason to me other than trying to figure out why I would've broken up with her. She couldn't handle that I broke up with her because of her herself, it had to be the wrongdoing of some other(s). She was in a habit of accusing me of that sort of thing. She was jealous of me having a T who I opened up to, and had a vendetta against the T because when the T found out that it was the then still-girlfriend who'd made an appt. with her, she cancelled it. The ex exploded at that news. The ex was a social worker with an MA in psychology. She knew the way the system works re: conflicts of interest and how to F up a T’s career. She was out of touch with reality.

Originally Posted by imapatient

This can be said of anyone in therapy. Maybe you're having an affair. Should I report you because the thought enters my mind? Not out of a desire to mess with your life, but because it's possible?

i'm sorry, i didn't mean to upset you. i meant if you actually were having an affair with a t then that would be damaging to you and i could see someone being concerned for your welfare and intervening. i wasn't saying that just because someone thinks something is happening they should report it. that is crazy!!

The ex- had no reason whatsoever to suspect something. She suggested no reason to me other than trying to figure out why I would've broken up with her. She couldn't handle that I broke up with her because of her herself, it had to be the wrongdoing of some other(s). She was in a habit of accusing me of that sort of thing. She was jealous of me having a T who I opened up to, and had a vendetta against the T because when the T found out that it was the then still-girlfriend who'd made an appt. with her, she cancelled it. The ex exploded at that news. The ex was a social worker with an MA in psychology. She knew the way the system works re: conflicts of interest and how to F up a T’s career. She was out of touch with reality.

ugh

[Luce]

Imapatient... I really am not your ex, and I truly am not stalking you. Despite my strong reaction to your initial post about your situation, I do feel for you, and I can understand your fear and suspicion that you are being stalked (by me??!!)

I think admin can probably access my ______ (sorry, I can't remember the name of that internet address number thingy that everyone connected to the internet has?) Whatever it is, I am sure they will be able to access that, which should allay your fears that I am your ex, since that will show that I live far, far away from the US. (I am also hoping that your ex DOES live in the US, to actually prove that I cannot be her!)

I am not her, Imapatient. Yes, I wrote a strong post in response to your first one about this, and a couple of times I have read and commented on some of your other posts as well. But, I truly am not your ex, and I am not stalking you.

Edited to add:

I just read over this thread more carefully. I respect that it triggers you for me to respond to your posts, so I will not from now on, ok? I realise if you still believe I am her it won't make any difference to your feeling of lack of safety on here, but that is all I think I can do.

I was just thinking... To avoid all complication and concern about a stalker finding out your personal information... don't post that you might have a stalker. If it were me, I'd just keep quiet about it and change my information.

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by pinksoil

I was just thinking... To avoid all complication and concern about a stalker finding out your personal information... don't post that you might have a stalker. If it were me, I'd just keep quiet about it and change my information.

Good idea.