What are some things you wished your psychotherapist didn't do?

We all have stories (even me!) of psychotherapists who have acted in a way, that how shall we say?, perhaps wasn't in your best interests.

The therapist that is perennially late for your appointment, but charges you to cancel.

The therapist who is pretty clearly flirting with you, but others just tell you it's "transference."

The therapist who seems more interested in the clock than what you're saying, or can't stop from yawning a half dozen times throughout your appointment.

Post your therapist "worst of" stories here, or pet peeves that you wish your therapist knew that bugged you about your therapy with them!

Best,
DocJohn

My first pdoc was a nightmare. She was never once less than 2 hrs late for an appointment. Then we didn't have a great connection because she was really reserved and would just sit there and stare at me, if I wasn't talking (made me feel like a clinical specimen.) Then she started disappearing and not taking appointments, I had to get her to call in a meds refil for me, and she did - only it was for the wrong dose. Then when she did call in the refil at the right dose, she put 12 months worth of repeats on it, which I took as a sign that she really didn't want to see me. Thank god I had my T to keep me sane. Turns out the woman was really sick but wouldn't admit it. She should have closed her practice and referred her patients to other pdocs. Instead she just kept getting farther in over her head. She finally saw me again after 11 months, and that was basically for me to tell her I'd gotten a referal to another pdoc, who is great and who I've been with ever since.

---splitimage

lets see....

the pdoc who ate oatmeal in front of me (and didn't offer to make me a bowl).

the same pdoc who while i was crashing to the ground and needing emergency hospitalization insisted i help plan her vacation .

the t who fell asleep.

the t who after i spilled my guts about a nasty round of sexual abuse said "geez that's the best ya got?"

the same t who majorly crossed ethical boundaries in so many ways.

thank goodness i don't see any of them any more!

How about the therapist who kept answering her cell phone during my appointment time and was her family always calling during my time.

I wish my T didn't mentioned his wife's first name.

I had a therapist who told me that when he was in college he wanted to date women of my ethnicity but they weren't interested in him. Eww.

I just get disappointed when they asks me to write emails and then doesn't write back.

Xtree

Mine keeps getting up and opening the door to get food and water and for his dog, or to feed the bird.

This is not as bad as some, but I wish that therapists didn't use techniques to help us to "attach" to them, and then when we are "attached", start pulling away and trying to get us to stand on our own two feet. There must be a better way to do this! I find it very frustrating, once I am securely attached, to then see the sessions spread out more (I know in my case it's part of the therapy to promote independence), and whatever other techniques they use, leading up to termination. I jthink that they need to understand from the client's point of view, how hard it is when we are attached, to then "unattach". This has to be done very carefully. They have a lot of clients, but we only have one "them".

I have few complaints. But, once during small chat at the beginning of the session she talked about therapy school and how well she was able to train her rats to do all sorts of things. I couldn't help wonder if she was applying her skills with me.

i had a t one time that would always eat her lunch during my session no matter what time i scheduled it ....she's long gone...
another one left me to "watch after" a client i had referred him to when she was suicidal. quote-"i'm not goinig to listen to ....'s histrionics this weekend." fired him that following monday...should have done it that moment.

not answering her cell phone while i'm talking and stop looking @ the clock

I wish they didn't humour me (and go along with the lie) when they know I'm lying through my teeth...

I wish that my T's had some way to contact them outside of session if I ever needed to talk to them for an "emergency". None of them have ever been good about answering phone messages.

I wish sometimes that T's wouldn't come in with an agenda of what would be discussed during the session and then get visibly unnerved when the plans change because of my mood.

I wish that a couple of my T's wouldn't take stupidly large amounts of notes after I've said something as if they want to record it for "posterity". Yes, I know notes are important - but seriously. It bugs me if I feel I must pause for them to catch up! (Get a tape recorder - I would love that!)

My 1st T used BK's The Work and when I wasn't able to grasp it and it wasn't working for me he accused me of not doing the work, lying and gave me homework that he expected to be turned in and if I didn't do it as much as he assigned I was avoiding The Work. One session early on in the therapy when I told him I was hitting blocks with The Work (that was what his therapy was Byron Katie The Work) he said maybe I should just go. I should have but I stuck it out blaming myself for not being able to totally grasp it. He would yawn during the sessions and would constantly check the clock, even though he was often late once the 45min was up It was stop! Once called to reschedule an appt. because another client wanted my time slot. I finally got up the courage to quit when he accused me of lying and and spoke to me like I was a child. I felt like a failure. The guy was weird and sometimes used examples that were odd. Loved to role play and when he role played the abuser he really got into the anger thing. Was scary. His favorite words were "Katie says......... and watch Katie on Utube and read her books. If found myself sitting there hoping the session would go quickly and I could get the hell out of there. Also said it didn't matter what happened to me or how I felt about me or the fact that I really don't know who I am. As long as I did The Work I would be fine. I finally quit and called canceled my appointments and he never tried to contact me as to why. No closure. I really think he was a little (no a lot) toxic and it scares me to think that he is brain washing all those people with the BK The Work. Which I think is a bunch of Hog Wash. That is my opinion and I am sorry if I offend anyone who does the work. Thanks for letting me vent! I still am very angry with the way he treated me.

Thank you all for your ideas and thoughts, based upon your real-life experiences. I appreciate it!

I wrote a blog entry about these habits hoping that maybe if a few therapists could recognize themselves in the entry, they'll make an effort to stop (or at the very least reduce them!).

Hope you like it:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...of-therapists/

Best,
DocJohn

I think if a T needs to log in here and read how they should be doing things then they shouldn't be a T...is this link a practical joke?? I thought we were being serious.

Forgive me but I think that we all have moments of weakness where we need a human response to a problem instead of a textbook response. We all read this message board to ease our confusion when we could talk to our professional therapists about it. A blog post like that would give a therapist an opportunity to see things directly from our sides. To me, it would be a comfort to know that my therapist was doing everything they could to enhance their work, even if it means reading an unscientific blog.

How about this for serious: gotta watch those ones who try to get you to take your clothes off. It is true! The one in question is now dead.

I had one who seemed to have more mood swings than me!

With another one, I found out she had been taping the sessions without my knowledge. Maybe that's routine, but I didn't like it.

aaah, i kind of really dislike it when people use our posts here as fodder for research/writing material without full disclosure upfront.

That's why I didn't respond to the original post. I worried what I wrote might be used in an article.

I had a psych doc who always brought his lunch and spat all his crisps over my carpet,he was also a cuddly man who cuddled me before leaving and stroked my legs when he sat beside me also I dont do eye contact so he lay down on the floor under me to see my eyes also he went into my bedroom not knowing my boyfriend was hiding behind the door !! (he didnt see him behind the door)he made out he was using my upstairs toilet !!!! creepy or what ???? he also said I was a very attractive young women and he still practises yuk ! this was a man in his 60's ,ginger hair and beard with specs not exactly tom cruise ! pity my new pysch doc is not the same as he is so dam HOT !

Good grief!

yep, bet your all jealous of my ex doc

These aren't really horror stories.....these are just anoying things which seemed to make it impossible for me to think that therapy ever really does work.....it hasn't so far after all these years (since 1994) & 6+ therapists (some of whom I have even forgotten as they were only one time meetings where I said NO WAY!!!!)

One common thread through every therapist I have had is the idle chat....where they sit there I listen to me talk & talk & talk about anything & everything & nothing of any importance....never offer anything for me to think about or to challenge my thinking. It seemed that they would agree with everything I said & never even ask questions???? How do you ever get anywhere in therapy that way?

About the 3 or 4 psychologist I had after listening to me in the first appointment said "if I have to, I will make a career out of me & make sure I got better" the next appointment, he was moving most of his practice to the other town & didn't have any time for me as a new patient, only his established patients". Why can't they just be honest & not make rash promises that they know they won't keep?

I had another psychologist who was going through a divorce & never had time to talk. It was bad because at the time I was suicidal. She actually tried hard & was one of the better psychologists I had......which doesn't say much...but I went back to her when I was desparately in need of a psychologist after my Mother died & I had gone through the trauma of having the home care person write checks on my Mothers account, steal all my Moters valuable jewelry, steal my Mothers ID & apply for credit, then fight me for the phone when I caught her & then cut the phone cord, call the police anonomously who came & accused me of abusing my Mother, then she finally abusef my mother to the point of OD'ing her.....so when I was explaining the things that happened & how it caused such horrible stress, she correlated it to her grandmother's death when one of the care people stole a bottle of wine that my psychologist had planned on getting when her grandmother died.....saying these things happen.....wow, nothing like completely trivializing what I went through compairing it to that....did she not hear a word I said about what I was experiencing through that time when I was right there watching things happening all around me, trying to sort it out.

Another one that really got me was when I had been admited to an eating disorders treatment center & because I didn't have the money to pay, they had a fund that paid for 1 month at the center....anyway....this psychologist was into this "inner child" whatever.....kept pushing me about my inner child....I had no idea what in the world he was even talking about & of course, he offered no explaination....just kept saying the same thing over & over & over.....like a recording that doesn't listen to anything on the other end end of the recording.....anyway, it was a wasted month & then the psychologist charged me for his treatment.....I didn't have money for the treatment & insurance woudn't pay one cent....not for the psychologist either.....so here this jerk who didn't help me one little bit was charging me this huge amount of money for daily treatment....so not only was I weak from not eating, but angry after getting nothing out of the treatment....not only that, but the things they were insisting were the cause for anorexia (body image) I couldn't even relate to as that was never a concept I had about myself.....why treatment has a vision of the cause for something & when you don't fit the mold of everyone else, you fall through the cracks because they don't want to hear anything that is different because they don't know how to handle anything they didn't learn in their text books.

OK for my 10 cents worth of gripes.
Debbie