i knew my t and i had a fair amount in common when i first found her and i had a feeling we'd make a good fit which we have. do you find that affects your relationship with your therapist i.e. whether or not you have a lot in common or are similar to them? or are you quite different from t and do you think that helps? i'm really into personality type stuff and i am wondering what my t's personality type is in either the enneagram or myers-briggs. i am wondering if we might be the same type. that would be weird!

[KUREHA]

I don't really think so, not that I know anything about her, we are pretty close in age though - I'm 24, think she's 27 - so I don't know maybe.

Think we're a pretty good fit though and it's so easy to tell her things

[Mouse_]

I find in those precious moments when T steps outside her T role and a spontainous moment happens, that we really "gel", so yes I feel we are a really good fit...

T and I have a lot in common...like we both love to be in nature, we both love to read, spirituality is important to both of us (and even though he is christian and I am buddhist, somehow our spirituality gels really well), we have similar political views, etc.

We have the same sort of dark sense of humor, which is hugely important, because we laugh A LOT.

I had NO IDEA we would have all of this in common when I started working with him, it was kind of a happy surprise

[pachyderm]

No, not really much the same. It makes it harder for me, or seems to. But so far I am coping with the differences, not easily some of the time, but that has its advantages too, I guess. It stretches me. Some amount of stretching is good!

[peaches100]

My t does not reveal much about herself, but from what I know, I would say that we are NOT very alike. She is 15 years older than me, we are of very different religions, I know she & her husband make good money because he is a psychiatrist and they travel on vacation to other countries, as well as sending their daughter to study abroad. My husband and I, on the other hand, are living on one income, living in a house built in 1953, and just getting by. I like things planned out, and she is more flexible and spontaneous. I get stuck in the painful past or worry about the future, where she is very mindful of the present moment. She told me she is not very organized, and I try to be.

However, we both seem equally committed to my healing work, she tells me that she cries easily like I do (even though I never see it), her husband has chronic neck and back pain like my husband does, and I believe we are both very patient and accepting of other people. She also told me once that she won a baking contest at her work place with her chocolate cake recipe, and chocolate cake is my favorite kind.

But we are more different than similar.

[peaches100]

Oh yeah. And we've both lived in Iowa before.

Originally Posted by KUREHA

I don't really think so, not that I know anything about her, we are pretty close in age though - I'm 24, think she's 27 - so I don't know maybe.

my t is quite old but looks much much younger. i think she is almost 70! but she is really young at heart. i feel like she is kind of a role model for me. i sort of want to be like her if/when i ever grow up.

Think we're a pretty good fit though and it's so easy to tell her things

that is very cool.

Originally Posted by earthmama

T and I have a lot in common...like we both love to be in nature, we both love to read, spirituality is important to both of us (and even though he is christian and I am buddhist, somehow our spirituality gels really well), we have similar political views, etc.

We have the same sort of dark sense of humor, which is hugely important, because we laugh A LOT.

I had NO IDEA we would have all of this in common when I started working with him, it was kind of a happy surprise

my t and i are different faiths as well but it seems to be fine. i think the fact that we are both interested in spiritual things is cool. i told her some really wacky stuff recently about my spiritual experiences and she didn't even think it was weird. shoot, i think it is weird and it's my faith, lol.

we laugh too and i love it.

[deliquesce]

my pdoc is quite young as far as pdoc's go, but he's still about 15 years older than me, i'd say. i think the one great thing that we share in common is our love of reading - it's amazing the number of times we've found out we're reading the same book at the same time e.g., harry potter (yay!), but also shakespeare and stuff. he's introduced me to this great series which i'm loving, and i was telling him i didnt understand some of the naval terms, so he said he'd dig up a picture book on the different ships and stuff for me to look at.

i dont actually know too much about my pdoc beyond that, but i know he understands me well, and i think that is just so important. the T i used to go to - i think we had heaps more in common - but in the end, he didnt understand me very well at all and i think our relationship suffered immensely because of it.

[sittingatwatersedge]

T is very family oriented
I am very family avoidant

T is sensitive so am I

T is very capable and serene and levelheaded (as far as I have experienced her)
I am volatile but I can give good advice to OTHER people at times

T and I are rather similar in age
and last week we agreed that we're both going to be feisty old gals when the time comes. "do not go gentle", and all that....

[chaotic13]

I don't really know what my T is like. She seems to problem solve in a similar way as I do, this helps when we assess a problem. I really don't know much about her other than what she reveals which may be an illusion.

For starters, we have the same profession.

But you know when someone just "gets it?" You know when someone sees the world in a similar fashion to you. That is how I feel about my similarity to T. It comes out in our interaction, and particularly, our humor. We have a similar sense of humor.

Regarding other similarities-- we both value the arts very much. I know that we have some of the same favorite psychology theorists, writers, and musicians.

Differences? I adore junk food. He cringes when I whip out my bottle of grape soda in session, or tell him about the fried food I ate the day before.

[sunrise]

T and I are both very sensitive and interact with a lot of emotional nuance. It is fantastic to have the level of interaction that we do and T has often said we are very much alike that way. We also love a good bargain and tend to be frugal. He and I both like to drive our cars into the ground and get them to last for decades rather than buying a new one every 5 years. We both drive Hondas and are very loyal to the brand. We both hate the concept of perfect fruit (perfect appearing supermarket fruit that are giant and tasteless). And we both love bok choy and filberts. He also values dreams like I do, and has politics similar to mine. He is active in a religious/spiritual group and it's not that I don't have this impulse, but I have no experience at that, and would be very open to learning from him. He is also not CBT, which is something that isn't a good fit for me, so that is a similarity I really appreciate. I would call us both "easy-going." We are both informal.

He is extremely extroverted and I am on the introverted side of center. So this is a big difference with us. He's also so much more together than I am, without my dysfunctionalities, and he is very authentic, which I admire and aspire too. He is disorganized and cluttered and forgetful and puts papers in stacks all over his office. I know this behavior because it is me! Yes, he is ADHD and has spotted similar symptoms in me. He likes baseball and I don't.

In general, I feel we are peas in a pod.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by pinksoil

I adore junk food.

Twinkies, anyone?

[winterbaby]

I had a T that was very much like me and sometimes I even felt like I want to compete with her on certain things.

[KUREHA]

Originally Posted by reflection

my t is quite old but looks much much younger. i think she is almost 70! but she is really young at heart. i feel like she is kind of a role model for me. i sort of want to be like her if/when i ever grow up.

Wow nearly 70 she sounds cool though
lol - if/when i ever grow up

[pachyderm]

Wow nearly 70.

It happens.

[peaches100]

70 doesn't seem so old to me. My t is about 62, and I'm dreading the day she retires. She says she will probably retire sometime in the next 5 years, but I am hoping she will not!!

Instead of a twinkie, can I have a ding dong?

[Dinah]

We're nothing alike. In general I suppose we have similar values, but in particulars not so much.

He likes fine wine and a gourmet meal at a fine restaurant. I like to pick up a po-boy and eat it at home. He enjoys spending time in galleries. I like to spend my time at home, or shopping at a plant store or hardware store. He is always well dressed and perfectly groomed and has a particular liking for nice shoes. I can't bear anything on my feet that isn't soft and comfortable. Same for the rest of me. He seems to watch a lot of reality TV, and no Monk!

On bigger issues, we differ as well.

But we both value tolerance more than anything else, so that softens the fact that we're nothing at all alike and would not make particularly good friends.

[pachyderm]

I don't recognize ding dong. I do recognize Moon Pies and those marshmallow cupcakes (don't remember the actual name).

[hangingon]

Pachy
The marshmallow ones are called "Sno balls" . I hated those things lol.

My favorite ones funny bones, chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter inside, shaped like peanuts.

As far as being similar to T, I have no idea. Her hair is about the same color as mine, she is about 9 years older than me. I have a feeling we grew up in very different backgrounds though I don't really know her background. I am very neat and sort of a perfectionist, she may have a touch of that as well lol. I can tell she is very caring, I am similar in that aspect. Our relationship is still new so I really don't know her that well yet.

Hangingon

[deliquesce]

haha - i was just thinking today - pdoc just assumes that we are so alike that i would vote exactly the same way he would for local/state/federal govt. what's worse is that he's right, too.

[peaches100]

Well, OK then. How about a Hostess Cupcake or a Suzy-Q?

a great po boy is a gourmet meal!

sometimes the best food doesn't have to come from a gourmet place.

my t and i are alike (or so i like to think) we are about 8 months apart in age. get along well, both have dogs, seem to think alike on issues and have a sense of humor and value humor as a healing tool.