[lifelesstraveled]

I wish T wasnt on vacation next week
One time that I actually want to go she's not gonna be there...I need her to be there

[pegasus]

Hugs (((((((( lifelesstraveled ))))))))

Hang in there. Do you have some ways of coping until T gets back? Maybe you could write some things down to share with T.

Awwww ((((((((((((((((LLT))))))))))))))))))

Sometimes Ts pick the worst time for vacations!!

We can listen here and give you

[ECHOES]

((( llt ))) The long breaks are hard. I tell T that time=distance when a break is long (even like Thursday to Monday ).
And when we know they are going away I think it makes a break even harder yet.
I wish your T wasn't on vacation next week too.

[lifelesstraveled]

Thanks guys

pegasus--I have some coping mechs, but part of me just wants to throw them all out the window and go back to what i know.... i just dont know what to do with all these emotions hitting me at once. Im all over the place (at 26 i just had my first REAL break up and I dont know what to do---this has never happened to me) I dont even know what to write down. And Im in a mode where I dont want to write anything for T to read cuz she always whips out my writings to refer to and I hate that.

I am doing a good job at trying to keep everything in, which isnt exactly good, but i feel like im going to explode if i sit still for longer than 15 minutes. I have to keep moving, but is 11pm i have no where to move to or go.....

EM---thanks

Echoes---thanks

I feel like i have yet to have a steady schedule with T. She gets sick or has vacay or I cancel...

----ME---all over the place. I know T will have a field day with me. She gets to work through something with me that is currently happening and there is no way to get around it or avoid it.

[darkrunner]

((((((((((((((((((((((((LLT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can relate, because my T was on vacation last week.
I really missed her. And for the week coming up her schedule was so busy, she couldn't get me in until Thursday!!!! Although she said if she had a cancellation earlier in the week, she would call me.

I'm hope you were able to get some sleep last night......
keep posting here and let us support you while T is away.

[peaches100]

(((Lifelesstraveled)))

I just HATE it when my t is away on vacation. I know how you feel. My best advice is to keep yourself busy with good, healthy activities and try not to ruminate about the fact that she's gone. If you can, try to remember any soothing phrases she's said to you or visualize a session you had that felt connecting. Your t will be back before you know it!

[chaotic13]

Vacations and even just time between sessions really suck when stuff just wants out. LLT, hang in there... breath and be still. Try and do something totally for yourself today...ANYTHING!, it doesn't have to extravagant, it just has to be totally about doing something nice for you.

[Sannah]

How are you doing Life?

[lifelesstraveled]

ktgirl---yes I have been sleeping, but not without the help of something and even that sleep is restless.

Peaches--I am trying to keep busy. It's hard to visualize a connecting session though...I have such a hard time even remembering what she looks like a lot of the time--even when I make it point to look at her at each appt. (sigh) I don't know what my problem is.

Chaotic--I am trying to breathe and relax, but I dont want to relax. i have to keep going. I am just having a hard time with this break up and all the emotions that are flooding me at the moment---im not used to this at all.

Sannah--Im okay...i think. When things get to much for me to handle I have a tendency to retreat into myself and withdraw from everything and busy myself with things to do. So I went and bought and new digital slr and got a new tattoo, cleaned my room, my car, have been working out (which sometimes isnt a good thing for me)...but I will be fine until I see T next week.

[chaotic13]

LLT, I know the other week when I was having my emotional tsunami I couldn't help but think... "WHY do the emotions come, when there is no one around to share them with?" I never did figure out the answer.

LLT, take time grieve the loss of your relationship but don't beat yourself up with shoulda, woulda, couldas or let yourself dip into the "I'll never find anyone who will love me...because I am so f'ed or damaged....or whatever." On good thing is... that you were connected enough in this relationship to feel the loss. I can think of many break ups I had throughout life and how many times I was just like, whatever. These break-ups were no big deal, which seemed great then. However, looking back...I regret not having taken any risks back then.

LLT, I really think you can start to pull yourself up a little bit by doing some little act of kindness for yourself. It certainly won't hurt.

Take Care.

[Sannah]

[phoenix7]

hope you are feeling better