My weird session

Mar 11, 2009, 10:01 PM

Today, in session, I started asking T all of these questions. I asked him if I am his most "difficult" client. If I am his most "challenging" client. If I am his "easiest" client. If I am his "neediest" client. If I am his most "time consuming" client. Most of these he wouldn't answer. He asked "therapist questions" like "what would it mean you were my most difficult client?". I HATE that.

I think I got out of him that in some ways I am his most challenging client (?!) but ALSO the easiest because I work hard and come to 99.9% of my insights on my own, without him having to point things out to me. Hum.

I wanted desperately to be "most" something, so I asked if I am his shortest client (I AM! lol)...and he told me later in session that I the only client he has EVER sat on the floor with or played Uno with.

I actually told him "what I want you to say is 'Earthmama, you are my very favorite client I have ever had or I can ever imagine having. When I know it is a day you are coming in, I am super happy". lolol I can't believe I said that! But oh well, at least I was being honest.

I can't believe I'm not his most time-consuming client. I told him I was going to ramp up my phone calls and e-mails so i could take first place, and he said "believe me, I will let you know, FOR SURE if you do that" - I had the distinct feeling that his most time-consuming client is MUCH more time-consuming than me, and not in a good way.

So!! What the heck was all of that about?? A need to feel special? Important? Unique? It was so weird, but I just got hooked on it. Poor T.

Unbelievably, after all of that, we still had time for some serious and difficult therapy. It's amazing how much can get covered in 50 minutes sometimes.

lifelesstraveled · Mar 11, 2009, 10:27 PM

EM!!!

You are definitely one of my therapy inspirations LOL (you and just about everyone else LOL)You seem to have such a good relationship with your T

Dont you just hate those "what would it be like..." "what would it mean...." questions??? I HATE those LOL

I get so frustrated every time T asks "what would it be like if you ......." I sit there and roll my eyes LOL.

I think a lot of us want to feel special or unique to someone no matter how. I often wonder if I am T's most challenging client because I am so closed up and hard to reach. I hope she doesnt think it's her fault...

Take care

ECHOES · Mar 12, 2009, 01:40 AM

I think we want to feel... distinct in some way. Yeah, special too, but distinct and not just "the 4:00". lol

And I hate those questions/comments too most of the time (sometimes they are fun!) but mostly what I hate about them is that the focus I've tried to place on T is turned back around to me when she does that. We have talked about how frustrating that is, so now I can huff and pout in exaggeration when she does that and then sometimes we both laugh.

I think you are really brave to tell him exactly what you'd want to hear!

Simcha · Mar 12, 2009, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

EM!!!

You are definitely one of my therapy inspirations LOL (you and just about everyone else LOL)You seem to have such a good relationship with your T

Dont you just hate those "what would it be like..." "what would it mean...." questions??? I HATE those LOL

I get so frustrated every time T asks "what would it be like if you ......." I sit there and roll my eyes LOL.

I think a lot of us want to feel special or unique to someone no matter how. I often wonder if I am T's most challenging client because I am so closed up and hard to reach. I hope she doesnt think it's her fault...

Take care

Earthmama is one of my therapy inspirations too!!

I'm a therapy wuss, but I'm working on it.

Simcha · Mar 12, 2009, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by earthmama

Today, in session, I started asking T all of these questions. I asked him if I am his most "difficult" client. If I am his most "challenging" client. If I am his "easiest" client. If I am his "neediest" client. If I am his most "time consuming" client. Most of these he wouldn't answer. He asked "therapist questions" like "what would it mean you were my most difficult client?". I HATE that.

I think I got out of him that in some ways I am his most challenging client (?!) but ALSO the easiest because I work hard and come to 99.9% of my insights on my own, without him having to point things out to me. Hum.

I wanted desperately to be "most" something, so I asked if I am his shortest client (I AM! lol)...and he told me later in session that I the only client he has EVER sat on the floor with or played Uno with.

I actually told him "what I want you to say is 'Earthmama, you are my very favorite client I have ever had or I can ever imagine having. When I know it is a day you are coming in, I am super happy". lolol I can't believe I said that! But oh well, at least I was being honest.

I can't believe I'm not his most time-consuming client. I told him I was going to ramp up my phone calls and e-mails so i could take first place, and he said "believe me, I will let you know, FOR SURE if you do that" - I had the distinct feeling that his most time-consuming client is MUCH more time-consuming than me, and not in a good way.

So!! What the heck was all of that about?? A need to feel special? Important? Unique? It was so weird, but I just got hooked on it. Poor T.

Unbelievably, after all of that, we still had time for some serious and difficult therapy. It's amazing how much can get covered in 50 minutes sometimes.

((((((((Earthy))))))))

So, how short are we talking about here?

chaotic13 · Mar 12, 2009, 06:16 AM

I'm in the running for the most wussy client title.It sounds like you were wanting to be special.at least you were acknowleging it. I think sometimes I was to be special but don't even acknowledge it internally.

Mouse_ · Mar 12, 2009, 06:26 AM

Em, you know as children until we can learn to value and adore ourselfs we need to have this done for us, ie our caregivers and if thats done naturally we as we grow learn to internlise that and love ourselfs, I remember once as a child saying to my mother, "am I pretty"? she replied "Pretty? No I wouldn't say that, perhaps plain", and that burning twist of shame I felt for even contemplating asking this question then turned septic...of course we want to be mirrored positively in someones eyes, someone whom we have grown to feel is important ...its a childs way of getting the "parent" to talk about them, its a natural part of healthy ego development, but as an adult we feel we "Should" be beyond that, well we're not and theres nowt wrong with wanting it...

Mar 12, 2009, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simcha

((((((((Earthy))))))))

So, how short are we talking about here?

5'2" I'm not THAT short. But T is really tall, I probably seem like a mini-person to him

pachyderm · Mar 12, 2009, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mouse_

I remember once as a child saying to my mother, "am I pretty"? she replied "Pretty? No I wouldn't say that, perhaps plain", and that burning twist of shame I felt for even contemplating asking this question then turned septic...

Mouse is pretty.