[Beholden]

Tomorrow I have a t appt. I can't sleep tonight, I'm hoping to sort out what I need for me - in order to be "prepared" for what ever comes next. I'm done being mad, have not felt that way for a long time, but really want to do more than I'm doing right now.

I'm feeling a bit anxious, I don't know what I'm afraid of exactly. I want to have skills to keep from making the same mistakes that I have with the past two jobs, both which lasted 2 -3 years each.... so I can feel confident for the future.

When I called for the appt I asked my relatively new to me therapist if I could E-mail her with some of the goals I have in mind, and so she could help keep me on track in session. I'm so like some of you have said with waiting until the last few minutes of our session to start talking about what is really on my mind!!!

It was okay with her, but I didn't sent anything. She said she had a list of things that she uses for her clients that may be helpful as well. I think I'll go that route.

I've only seen her about 3 times back in June-Aug last year, also I see my pdoc for my antidepressant every 3 months. I really like and trust her, what little I know of her. But I want my money's worth out of seeing her, not just to have someone to vent with---I want skills, but not sure what skills I need. I don't want any more anxiety to get me before I start (in getting a new job).

My mood is stabilized, but not finding a job is one big issue, and now I need to understand why I left two of my jobs. I walked off of them because I was anger/hurt/had issues with some the people I worked with. Now I have trouble focusing on doing regular stuff. I'm more organized with I work outside the home.... I'm a great procrastinator.

I think I felt like they didn't like me and never would. I think some of them saw me a just some stupid older worker who was on the bottom of the status within the office - "filing", even though there was a lot more to that job. Before that I always had a job, always did good work, sometimes worked 2 jobs and when to school.....

Anyone else out there deal with these issues after depression? I really feel 90% recovered...what do you do in therapy to get you to that next place? The next place being satisfied with where you are now? Knowing you are doing what you can most days?

[FooZe]

Originally Posted by Heygimm

I'm feeling a bit anxious, I don't know what I'm afraid of exactly. I want to have skills to keep from making the same mistakes that I have with the past two jobs, both which lasted 2 -3 years each.... so I can feel confident for the future.

Could it be that you're not so much afraid of something, as eager to get on with it, find out what there is to deal with and how it goes?

Maybe you did make some mistakes with those jobs, too -- but could it also be that you just found yourself in a crazy work situation where no one could be expected to thrive? Maybe you need to learn, not so much how to get along in an unsuitable situation, as how to find a suitable one.

I'm mostly a freelancer myself so I haven't had much exposure to office politics, pecking orders and stuff in a long time. The last "job" I had (part-time, alongside my freelancing) lasted for over 20 years. My boss was one of the two best I've ever had, and apparently my skill set and attitude exactly matched what she needed. At one point an "office bully" emerged among the staff and began complaining about me (among others). I'm told that our boss quietly informed her that she couldn't run the place without me so if there wasn't room there for both of us, I was the one she was keeping. There turned out to be room for both of us after all . I didn't leave till 6 months after she sold the business to someone else.

I didn't find this job by the usual routes -- want ads, resumes, stuff like that. I'd been doing volunteer work where her brother and sister also volunteered, her brother knew me and pointed me out to her sister, her sister hired me, then left and passed the manager job to her.

All this is by way of saying that I seem to do much better in work situations where the management knows me personally, is up to making good use of me, looks out for me at their end of the shop, and lets me look out for them at mine. Do you suppose something like that might be what you need, too?

Anyway, best of luck to you! A kind and gracious lady like you should have a work situation to match.

[Beholden]

Originally Posted by Fool Zero

Could it be that you're not so much afraid of something, as eager to get on with it, find out what there is to deal with and how it goes?

Maybe you did make some mistakes with those jobs, too -- but could it also be that you just found yourself in a crazy work situation where no one could be expected to thrive? Maybe you need to learn, not so much how to get along in an unsuitable situation, as how to find a suitable one.

I'm mostly a freelancer myself so I haven't had much exposure to office politics, pecking orders and stuff in a long time. The last "job" I had (part-time, alongside my freelancing) lasted for over 20 years. My boss was one of the two best I've ever had, and apparently my skill set and attitude exactly matched what she needed. At one point an "office bully" emerged among the staff and began complaining about me (among others). I'm told that our boss quietly informed her that she couldn't run the place without me so if there wasn't room there for both of us, I was the one she was keeping. There turned out to be room for both of us after all . I didn't leave till 6 months after she sold the business to someone else.

I didn't find this job by the usual routes -- want ads, resumes, stuff like that. I'd been doing volunteer work where her brother and sister also volunteered, her brother knew me and pointed me out to her sister, her sister hired me, then left and passed the manager job to her.

All this is by way of saying that I seem to do much better in work situations where the management knows me personally, is up to making good use of me, looks out for me at their end of the shop, and lets me look out for them at mine. Do you suppose something like that might be what you need, too?

Anyway, best of luck to you! A kind and gracious lady like you should have a work situation to match.

Good morning FZ,

Oh, your initials sounds so fuzzy and warm (or is it warm and fuzzy)?

Thank you for your kind, wise words. I think you have hit some of what I'm thinking right on the head.

Anxiety and fear are cousins, and it is the unease of not being able to be hired at a time when I want/need to be that is the "thing" cycling around in my head some days. I use distractions so much of the time to not feel it, some of the distractions are wonderful, like the time with my grandchildren, daughter, etc that perhaps that is really just life and I sometimes have not recognized that is what it is.....blah blah blah....

Well, it's 6:25 and I have a reevaluation with the physical therapist at 7:30, I should leave in 5 minutes. Then grocery shopping and on to my therapy appt.

What sort of work did you do before you did strickly free-lance work? And yes, I know I made mistakes at other jobs, but they were job mistakes, not so much people/behavior mistakes.

And I do wish there was that type of opportunity around for me to "step" into. I did try to volunteer and that place didn't have anything for me at the moment. Think I'll call them back today after t.

If they don't have something, heck, they have other places in town who would appreciate and can use me. The nurse in my pdoc's office who runs the office said that one of the other hospitals had the best coffee, when I asked her which hospital she though would be the best to work at

[lajones81]

Best of luck to you!

[Beholden]

Originally Posted by lajones81

Best of luck to you!

Thank you lajones....

and welcome to PC