so mixed up

I have been going through a major depression and high anxiety and in the middle of this went through withdrawal from benzos. During the withdrawal I started having feelings for my ex who has remained my best friend even though we split up a year and a half ago. All through the last year I felt I would never go back with him because of what he did to me and our relationship, a big trust issue. Now I am actually thinking about rekindling that spark but I dont know if this just a need for human contact or true love ( I always knew he was my soulmate, but is he just a friend???)
Now I have these feelings for him, dont really know what they are and I am worried because it seems I have just woken up from a long sleep and I have all these feelings and emotions. He says he has never stopped loving me and he is willing to wait since I have a lot of issues to deal with before I go there! I feel like I havent dealt with anything for a couple of years now, I just kept on going, doing things that had to be done, going to work, sleeping, eating and just trying to survive but no feelings or emotions involved.
I am going back to work on june 1st after a 2 month leave of absence and that is my priority but I am so worried about everything else: ex, daughters, my mental health etc...that I cannot deal with anything and I am getting very mixed up, I am an all or nothing kind of person so I have to be very careful with my actions since there is so much involved here.
I feel like a 50yr old child....

The question to ask yourself is if the reasons behind the breakup have since then been resolved sufficiently? If not, then you really don't need to be trying for round two.

You said you have a lot of issues... have you considered doing a weekly talk therapy to overcome some of them to make you happier and more functional?

Yep, Sim is right, is the issue cleared up? If you were in an addiction during your relationship your feelings were pretty numb weren't they. Now that your clean, if you still feel like he is your soul mate, well I think you need to explore that. It's just my opinion but if you feel he is your soulmate.....well.....