Trouble with co-worker

I’m posting this here because it’s technically a relationship issue, not your standard man/woman relationship, but a relationship just the same.

I’ve been working as a contractor for a division of General Electric for nearly two years now. My job title is Engineering Assistant. I took the position although I was overqualified because the job market is so brutal here, and I didn’t know when something full-time in my field might open up. After two years, I’m still waiting for something to open up…

My problem is this. After about 5 months with the company, I went from assisting all department to helping only one, the Pipe Support group. I reported directly to one person, who out of respect, I’ll just call Bob. My time in this department was supposed to be about three months, I’m still there now. Bob, who is the dept Lead, has become a major pain in my *****. He started by coming to me daily and talking very badly about the other members of the dept. After a few days of this, I told him that it made me very uncomfortable when he did that, and asked him to stop. He got very offended that I wasn’t willing to listen to it and stormed off. He didn’t speak to me for days. I’ve found out since that he makes derogatory comments about me on a regular basis. Our working relationship had degraded to the point where the only time he talks to me is when he wants to tell me that I’ve done something wrong. Now, I don’t profess by any means to be perfect. I’m human and I make mistakes. My 95% of the time when he calls me on a mistake, it’s not a legitimate error, it’s because I didn’t do something his way. Even if it’s blatantly wrong, it’s still his way.

My background and degree is in Mechanical Drafting and Document Control, and because of that I’m always looking for ways to streamline processes and procedures. Things to save time and ultimately money. Whenever I’ve shown an idea of mine to the Lead, the response has always been, “No, we’ll just keep things the way they are”, and he’ll walk away. But almost every time, within a week or two, maybe a month, my idea will be implemented, and the lead will take full credit for it without so much as ever mentioning my name. You have no idea how much that pisses me off.

There isn’t a single person who works in this dept who has a bit of use for him. You can always overhear an argument of some kind taking place between him and one of the member of the group. No one in the group can stand him, we just at best tolerate him. He is one of the most disliked people in the company. In fact he has been written up for his attitude. But, our whole group is made up of contractors, and we are all afraid to approach the HR dept about him in fear that it might backfire and one of us would lose our jobs. None of us can afford that.

I’m one of the most gentle, easy going people you could ever meet, really. But there have been times in the last few months that I’ve thought about what it would be like to jump this guy in the parking lot after work. I don’t like that feeling at all.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to survive with this guy? I’m really at my wit’s end.

Thanks for reading.

bptoo

"A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."

i had a similar situation with my supervisor at my last job. she was completely threatened by me and every time i offered her a suggestion that would improve a process she would interpret my efforts as some sort of manipulation to make her look bad. i can't tell you how many times i asked her why we did something a particular way, only to have her answer "that's the way we've always done it." it drove me nuts! she was basically incompetent and no one in my department had any respect for her. what we wound up doing was banding together and working around her. i would come up with an idea and get everyone else on board. then we'd all work the kinks out together and one of us (never me) would finesse her with it and make her think she came up with the idea on her own and we were just wowed by her managerial prowess. by the time she left the company (she died at 76) we had this down to a science.

like you, we all knew going to hr was going to be a waste of time due to her age and the fact that she had been with the company almost 20 years.

if you have a pretty good working relationship with your other coworkers and can get past the fact that you'll never receive official credit for any of your ideas, you might want to try working with your coworkers on this. some of them might also have ideas they haven't bothered to mention to your lead.

the beauty of this method is it's hard for your lead to protest. if he tries confronting you, you can always argue that you know he's got a million things going on and you didn't want to waste his time with an idea until you could present a completely workable solution to him. since you're not actually implementing anything without his involvement, he can't really complain to hr without looking like a petty jerk.

as usual, just my $0.02...

bp, I wish I knew what to tell you to help, because he sounds a lot like my boss right now, and if I could help you, then I could help myself. : )

Is there anyone above him you could talk to? I know it is tough to complain when you really need the job. The one thing I can think of is, if he is doing anything that violates EEOC or Fair Labor Practice Standards, those agencies have procedures by which you can lodge a complaint anonymously.

This doesn't really help with your boss, but maybe when you have these ideas, you could show them to someone other than him.

It's hard to come up with real good ideas, because I know each company has it's own cultural subtleties that you have to live within. I've received some suggestions that were completely unworkable in my situation.

Anyway, I hope you can find some way to deal with this guy.

*hugs*
Jo

I'd have a difficult time believing that "Bob" only acts this way with one person. Sounds like he's the one with the problems...

NOTE: I wrote this next section before I read about what you wrote regarding HR. (Sorry, I skimmed. What do you expect? It's 2 am!)

Do you have a relationship with Bob's boss? How about human resources? Just to ask for suggestions on how to handle this situation (really, "Bob"). I don't think that this is an uncommon hazard of work (or working with jerks). HR, if it's any good, should be schooled in handling the different work relationships and situations that may arise.

If I have an idea, I always try to document it in writing, usually by email, and by telling peers and getting their feedback before bringing it to the "Bob". Not that you'd have to prove something; it's also good for reminders about performance.

I have a friend, who works in another department, who is dealing with a difficult co-worker. There's not much I can do (this difficult co-worker has ADHD and is very paranoid and tactless). But I try to be a sounding board for my friend. We get together during her break times. Even if all I can do is listen and reassure my friend that it's not her but this woman, who has problems. It sounds like you have co-workers to commisurate with.

Best wishes, bptoo, for a tough situation.

splash

I have had a major problem with a supervisor before involving sexual discrimination and related grossly unfair treatment. I took the advice of a relative who is a labor relations lawyer and started a journal of everything she did, big or small, that was related to my complaint in any way.

To be legal binding, if it comes to that, this journal has to be in a bound (not loose leaf) notebook with numbered pages. You can find these in any office supply store. Use ink. Do not erase, only cross off to make corrections. Write in every line and on every page, no skipping. Always mark the date and time of the entries. If you are writing recollections, use today's date and comment that it is a recollection from date x.

It did not take very long before my boss called me into a disiplinary conference. I told her I had extensive documentation of her mistreatment of me and another man in her group. (This was an exaggeration. I had only recently begun the journal.) She immediately dropped all complaints about me, and most shockingly, she apologized. She even eventually assisted me in getting a promotion.

I can't recommend this highly enough. Others have told me how well documentation helped them, too. It even makes you feel better as you are doing it. It is like accumulating ammunition for the coming battle and feeling secure that you are well armed.