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Old Jul 10, 2009, 04:08 PM
hoping4best hoping4best is offline
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the realtionship is over from the guy's side but im still not over with him,and i keep thinking about him, this is devastating for my personal life and career,both! i cant concentrate on studies at all. he's gone making his career...n here i am..ruining my future. im a student and still have 3 years till my graduation. i want to forget him and everything related to him but dunno HOW to do that!! i have stopped contacting him myself..but i still get a glance on his facebook acount. should i delete from there too? im in miserable condition! my career is at stake!

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  #2  
Old Jul 10, 2009, 09:27 PM
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sabby sabby is offline
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I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time.

I would delete him from every angle of your life and give yourself permission to grieve over this lost relationship. Time is a great healer...I know it's been said a lot, but it is so true.

Take a few days to sulk, cry, get angry, cry some more. Get it out of you ... don't hold it all in. Once you've cried out your tears, start making some plans for yourself. Find your way back to everyday life. Make plans with friends to go out for lunch or dinner. Go for a walk on a nice evening. Go bowling, it's a great way to get out your anger on those pins! Write your feelings in a journal....free writing...anything to help get it out.

When your mind starts to wander...give yourself a little break. But get right back to the task at hand as soon as possible so that you don't loose sight of what you need to do. Most of all....don't play the "what if" game with yourself. That is not going to fix your relationship nor make you feel any better.

Just know that what you are going through is normal. Be kind to yourself and know that you won't always feel this way.....it can and will get better!

Take good care!

sabby
Thanks for this!
hoping4best
  #3  
Old Jul 11, 2009, 08:43 AM
hoping4best hoping4best is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2009
Posts: 582
Quote:
Originally Posted by _sabby_ View Post
I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time.

I would delete him from every angle of your life and give yourself permission to grieve over this lost relationship. Time is a great healer...I know it's been said a lot, but it is so true.

Take a few days to sulk, cry, get angry, cry some more. Get it out of you ... don't hold it all in. Once you've cried out your tears, start making some plans for yourself. Find your way back to everyday life. Make plans with friends to go out for lunch or dinner. Go for a walk on a nice evening. Go bowling, it's a great way to get out your anger on those pins! Write your feelings in a journal....free writing...anything to help get it out.

When your mind starts to wander...give yourself a little break. But get right back to the task at hand as soon as possible so that you don't loose sight of what you need to do. Most of all....don't play the "what if" game with yourself. That is not going to fix your relationship nor make you feel any better.

Just know that what you are going through is normal. Be kind to yourself and know that you won't always feel this way.....it can and will get better!

Take good care!

sabby


sabby i did try to find interest in my own life so that i can forget him. but somehow i just cant do so. i even went to see a psychiatrist, he said i dont need any medication i just need some counseling. i went to him for a couple of times but didnt find it very useful. so i quit seeing him.

its awful that my career is at stake. i dont study at all now!! bcoz i know that i cant concentrate. im trying to remove shards of him in life by delteing his contact number from my phone (although i have remembered it by heart!!!) sometimes he's not really on my mind but at hthat time also im not studying. i have wasted a year on this guy.......and he has simply moved on!!! isnt that awful? and the worst part is that im still into him!
  #4  
Old Jul 11, 2009, 09:17 PM
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0ldsoul 0ldsoul is offline
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Member Since: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 90
Just wanted to show my sincere agreeance (think I made that word up, but it works) with Sabby, True in every word.

Eliminate all triggers for sorrow, and just deal. The hurt will go away, just give it time. Don't allow it drag over time.

Try and plan things to look forward to. I also find that if there was anything you could not do before because of the relationship, now is the time, maybe it was dance lessons, or anything like that.

Good luck with the process

0ldsoul
__________________
Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them.
Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
but for the heart to conquer it.
Let me not look for allies in life's battlefield
but to my own strength.
Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;
But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.
*bengali poet - rabindranath tagore - 1916
Thanks for this!
hoping4best
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