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#1
Jul 27, 2009, 05:05 PM
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I can't focus...keep thinking why I let him to use me....
OMG...what is wrong with me and this obsession? I know I'm getting better....I can't simply wait till I get over him totally.... Now, he brought a new girl to the class....I feel so hurt and ignored and used....yes...I feel he used me....arggggggg......I want to break free....  Should I start online dating? I feel so sad these days, not sure even if I can put positive energy out there....I've tried it before and didn't work, but some of my friends including my sister got married through online dating....I need to get distracted from all these thoughts.... with love Marjan |
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#2
Jul 27, 2009, 05:15 PM
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Online dating is not a bad thing, and it sounds like you can use some distraction, which it CAN provide..
I like christiancafe.com It gives you 2 free weeks and the folks are christians, God fearing people, they say things they are comfortable with/not comfortable with right from the start  Pick a site that has an interest that YOU have  A good one, without a lot of superficiality! Be discerning when reading other's profiles, BE CAREFUL- meet out at a public place after chatting on the phone or internet a LONG time Pick someone with common values. If you are coming from beiong okay with YOU just the way YOU are, love yourself, then you are ready to try this
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#3
Jul 29, 2009, 11:03 AM
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Hi Marjan~~
Just wondering how things are going for you regarding this... Good news I'm hoping??? Best Wishes~ Shangrala 
__________________
 I  U!
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#4
Jul 29, 2009, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Well...I've signed up and two guys so far asked for my photo, but I've been busy to respond them back....besides, I didn't see any chemistry....It's just so hard for me to get connected through online dating....but I will reply them back tonight with my photos....and I'm going to change my profile to be more profesional rather than so plain.... I saw Aaron in the dance class....I broke my promise and Monday I went there....I love my class and my teachers and students there....I had such a great time...and Aaron was like a butterfly around me....kept asking me to dance with him....he walked out door with me when I was leaving, but I went to my car very quickly....I'm so afraid of any sexual contact with him....It's better to keep it this way...He can't make up his mind to commite to one person and I'm not there to satisfy his needs....It's hurtful after being with him and him not being attentive in the relationship....so, it's better just keep it this way....I can't avoid not seeing him in the class....Aaron is capable of hurting me badly and I'm staying away from getting hurt....I think I'm getting better, my sleep is good now...I made another guy friend for myself in the class, he's such a good dancer and he's an Engineer very polite guy...I don't see a Chemistry with him, but I like his personality as a friend and I enjoy dancing with him....I like guys who are supper gentelman  M. |
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#5
Jul 29, 2009, 12:53 PM
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Quote:
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#6
Jul 29, 2009, 01:50 PM
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You can do a hobby or hang with friends without dating. Are you trying to make dating a "life requirement"? I have been with women (sometimes overlapping) ever since I started dating. In 1981. It's the type of thing where I kind of wish I had at least 1-year to myself since then. At 45 today, I love where I am at (a moderately funcational family of four). However, I have a few guys who I have worked with who stayed single and pursued their own life-goals with dating mixed in here and there but didn't serial-date. I kind of wish I had the strength to do that years ago.
If you want a partner in life - work hard. Really hard. To find someone who is compatible with your baggage. Everyone has baggage and you want to find someone who is entirely comfortable with yours. Be able to push away those who aren't compatible without fear and also without remorse. It may be cold but you do yourself a favor by being more selective than less selective. Key to life - being happy with yourself "because" of yourself. You shouldn't need others to let yourself be happy. Go on a 3-mile hike alone and see if you can find that part of yourself you really love and feed that part of you with as much fertilizer as you can.
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How can anyone be enlightened? Truth is after all so poorly lit. -- Neil Peart |
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#7
Jul 29, 2009, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
I think my problem is not really finding a partner, it's more thinking about loneliness too much that I gave it too much importance and then I'm failing here and there whenever relationship I get into....also, I'm so afraid of getting hurt that I let it happen...Ironically, I think I'm the source of suffering...I see when I'm happy and have positive energy every good thing is happening and when I'm not all bad things are there for me....that's the truth, and I know it, but still I'm not master of working it right....but I think I'm getting better.... It's better to have one good partner for a life rather than wondering around hurt broken from one relationship to the other....so, you are a lucky one to find that special person soon in your life without dating too much! M. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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