[Elspeth]

Do you believe that there is one person out there for each of us? I did. I mean I do. I thought I had found The One, we had our problems but what couple doesn't?
I had been with him for almost 6 years. I really and still do love him. But he said that he couldn't make me happy and so he dumped me.
I am 22 and so that means that when we started going out we were both really really young. But I thought we were just really lucky to find each other so soon! I was happy for most of the time.
But now I'm just kinda lost. On saturday I went on a date with someone else. It was fun and he was funny but I'm not physically attracted to him. Anyway as these things go I wanted to tell everyone about my "date".
Because I started going out with my ex-boyfriend when I was so young, that was actually the first date i have EVER been on. And so naturally I wanted to tell my ex-boyfriend about it. Not because I wanted him to feel jealous, but because he was my best friend.
Now in a round about way this leads me to my question, if my ex-boyfriend was The One, does that mean that I will never had that complete love and just utter contentment again? Will I just have to settle for second best forever?

Has anyone ever thought they had found the love of their life, only to realise that there was someone even better than that? Is there still hope?

[jerrymichele]

I'm sorry that your hurting.Yes you can find love again. Right now your grieving over the end of your relationship. Everyone who loves someone will go threw this when they end a relationship. It will get easier, and you will find love again.

there is always hope................
Is there any chance the 2 of you can go to Counseling or is it over for good for him?
Just a thought...

[bridgie]

Like you said yourself you were really young. After you go through the stages of loss you will ba able to move on and find another relationship that will also be hopefully a more stable mature lasting relationship. Good luck

[Elspeth]

Thank you Jerry Michele, Muffy and Bridgie. Those are encouraging words. I really do hope that it does work out and I find someone special and perfect... sigh.... if they exist.

I know I am young and maybe it's because of that I have this hope that at some point down the track he will tell me it was all a mistake and wants me back. Do you think I'm just being silly? Or just hoping for something that's unrealistic.

It's all coming to a head this week mainly because we have our annual college ball on friday and I was meant to be going with him. I'm now going with a friend but it's still painful. I don't want to go but I don't want to stay at home alone when everyone else is at the ball either.

I asked him whether he still wanted to try and work on things before we broke up but he said he didn't want to.

Anyway.... I don't know where i'm going with this. I just feel really heartbroken, in the actual literal sense of the word, my heart is aching.

[marjan]

Originally Posted by Elspeth

Thank you Jerry Michele, Muffy and Bridgie. Those are encouraging words. I really do hope that it does work out and I find someone special and perfect... sigh.... if they exist.

I know I am young and maybe it's because of that I have this hope that at some point down the track he will tell me it was all a mistake and wants me back. Do you think I'm just being silly? Or just hoping for something that's unrealistic.

It's all coming to a head this week mainly because we have our annual college ball on friday and I was meant to be going with him. I'm now going with a friend but it's still painful. I don't want to go but I don't want to stay at home alone when everyone else is at the ball either.

I asked him whether he still wanted to try and work on things before we broke up but he said he didn't want to.

Anyway.... I don't know where i'm going with this. I just feel really heartbroken, in the actual literal sense of the word, my heart is aching.

I'm sorry that you are feeling sad and I can understand it....
The only cure for you is TIME....just know that you can't force anybody to be with you...and don't try it again...if he wants you back, he will try it....I found out it's the best to leave guys alone when they poll out from the relationship....then they come back or they vanish forever....
You need lots of time to get over the 6 years relationship...how old is he?
and don't worry...we are always capable to love somebody specially when we are younger....it's harder when we get older
Try to make more guy friends...guys are fun and you will enjoy your time with them....my thoughts are with you....

with love
Marjan

[Yoda]

I offer a different perspective. I don't believe in The gaOne, or my soulmate and especially don't expect to find somebody who is perfect.

We all have baggage from life and there is no such thing as the perfect relationship.

Rather than focus on the search for Mr Right I am seeking to make casual friends and if things progress into something close and healthy that is great but if not I don't need a man to be happy.

I had one really great relationship for seven years and then my man met a guy who gave him meth and the great relationship fell apart as he became nutso and violent and things ended in tragedy.

Will I ever have a close relationship again? Nobody knows. There is no crystal ball for me or for you. We just have to take it day by day and wonder at what surprises are around the corner for each of us.

I wish you the best in finding friends worthy of serious relationships.