[kris9999]

I've been struggling my entire life with these problems in my head. Some are more severe than others. When I met my husband I felt great. I was off meds and I was loving life. For the first time in my life I was close to happiness. I've never been fully happy but that was the closest I had ever been. We got married 13 months after we started dating and I was still happy. We've had out problems but I was still doing great. I had our daughter 2 1/2 years later and was still doing great. Than out of no where the feelings started coming back. The lack of memory, the lack of any kind of emotion, the paranoia. It's like everything that went away right before I met my husband came back in a tidal wave. I redeveloped my eating disorder as well. I lost 80 pounds in about 7 months.
My husband knew that and I've tried talking to him about my other problems but he just doesn't want to listen. Every time I tell him there is something wrong with my head he blows me off and says I'm not crazy. He says nothing is wrong with me when clearly something is. The only thing that didn't come back was my self mutilation and I'm thankful for that but I just don't know how to make my husband understand.
I need to see a therapist and I have an appointment next week to get a referral to see one, but I know my husband wont be happy with it. I know he wont want me to go and eventually will talk me out of going once I feel even the slightest bit better. This has happened before and I don't know how to keep it from happening again. Any ideas on how to get my husband to listen and put his ideas to the side to be here for me?

[jerrymichele]

Regardless if he gets upset or not go to your appt. You can offer to take him with you, so that he might understand.

[AAAAA]

Denial is a very comfortable place. I’m so sorry that your husband is living there right now, but no matter what his opinion is you need to exercise some self-care. You’re on the right path, don’t let anyone or anything lead you astray no matter what their intensions are. If he attempts to talk you out of going to the therapist before you feel ready then simply tell him that you need this whether he believes you or not.

Since you will see a therapist soon and he/she will be familiar with your exact situation, as for his/her input.

[bridgie]

I agree with the statements above. You have to do this for yourself. Only you have the right to make that decision to go or not. If you feel you need to please go help yourself get better. Good luck

[lotusflames]

you have to do what's best for you! you know if you're not coping with things and that's the important thing.

lots of people dont want to admit that their partners have a problem with mental health, the stigma is still massive. but good on you for being honest about it

[kris9999]

Thanks for all of the replies. I know I will be going to the therapy to start but eventually my husband will tell me I don't need it any more and I'm wasting my time and gas. If I'm feeling the slightest better I will believe him or not want to upset him and stop going. I did that with my last therapist. I asked my doctor to send me to him because of my eating disorder and saw him twice a week for a couple months until my husband came home from Iraq. Than of course the visits didn't last long. I'm not strong when it comes to my husband.
I love the man but he walks all over me. The worst part is I let him do it. I don't stand up for the things I believe or even things I need 1/2 the time and it sucks but I'm going to have to find a way around that because I do need to see a therapist. So many twisted things are going on in my head and I need them to be fixed or at least calm down. It's driving me crazy... lol... Thanks for all of the advice. I wont even be able to see a therapist for a long time though. Maybe there is a way around it but as far as I know I have to wait until next week for the appointment with my primary care doctor just to get the referral than after I get that it can take 2 weeks for my insurance to process the referral. Than after it is finally processed I have to wait for the therapist to have another available appointment.
I think I'm going to call my insurance today and find out if there is a way around the waiting. Thanks for all of the replies!

[lotusflames]

from what you've said is your husband in the army? Just the mention of iraq that's all.

maybe it's these exact things you need to be talking about? I mean, have you talked to your husband specifically about how you feel? and about how your relationship with him is? I mean perhaps some couples councelling is what you need?

all i know is that we're here to offer you any support you might need.