Letting go of someone you still love

OMG....such an A.H.....unbelievable...honey....you are better off without him...be happy to know it sooner than later....trust me...
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me and then after couple of months, he came to the class with the new girl....exact thing that he used to do that with me...and I could hear my heart breaking into pieces....I didn't go to the class anymore....and I don't want to see him anymore...he really broke my heart....
This guy is a total jerk....just kick him out of home....make the life miserable for him at home....he doesn't deserve anything....

my heart is with you
Marjan

I think I wrote this before reading your last PM....good that you are out of that home....trust me, he doesn't deserve anything....and you need time to heal...it will take awhile, but day by day you feel better and better....and one day you wake up and all of a sudden you find yourself out of the drama....
take care of yourself
Marjan

Hi, Deedee and Welcome to PC! I agree with those above who advise you to get an attorney. Look under Attorney Referral Services in the yellow pages, if that is applicable where you live, to possibly get a free consultation and reduced fees. Concentrate on those qualities that are undesirable in this dude, to help you get over him. Give yourself a chance to find someone that will stick with you. He's chasing an impossible dream, but that doesn't mean you have to go with him. When you have an attorney, look into your rights as a common-law spouse. I'm sooooo sorry that you are going through this. ~ billieJ

Hi deedee, i rly dont know much about relationships... but ive seen countless of relationships which go down the drain cuz of another woman. Let me tell u a story, My bestfriends dad was seeing another woman rather than her mum. The woman he was married 2 for 28 years, she made him who he is, helped him find work and she got the house herself. At first she tried to get him back, since she loved him and well.. they have been together for so long. In addition her mother in law hated her. But she still tried, but he didnt do anything and wanted a divorce. Eventually she gave up trying to pursue him, started to take courses and took care of her looks/clothes. She improved herself, and completely ignored him. It took nearly 3 months and she started to get over him. She still cared for him but she wasnt as sad as before. Then she agreed on the divorce. Once she agreed, the guy started to try and get her back. He changed his mind on the divorce, and wanted to continue with her. Unfortunatly it was too late and she didnt want him anymore. Currently they are to figure a way through this. But i heard that they will get divorced in a week or so... it may seem like a sad ending... yet there is a chance for a good one also.. some men apparently like being chased, or sometimes they know that the person that they are with loves them and probably will always be there. All i can say is that, you should forget about him, it may have been a long time, but its never too late for love. Its like the saying "If u love someone, set them free. If they dont come back it was never meant to be" so try ur best to live on, and be happy, and who knows. Once he finds you all confident and happy he might just come back to you, though i would hope you would find someone who loves you more by then.
I wish you good luck, and hope you make it through. Love is the best gift and the worst pain

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to keep everyone updated on what's been going on. I'm pretty much settled into my new place, and enjoy the alone time, but two weeks after I moved in I got carbon monoxide poisoning from the stove that came with the cottage. Luckily I was still awake when the alarm went off or else I would have gone to bed and never woke up. I'm not sure if I already posted this or not, but my ex's girlfriend's boyfriend found out about their affair, and came by to see me to see how I was doing and to get closure on what happened, and we've been supporting each other through this difficult time. He ended up going to the hospital that night and stayed with me in the E.R. for 5 hours, holding my hand and talking to me the whole night. Anyway, we spent the next week together, and my ex and his ex were looking to rent a house together, but a week later she decided to dump my ex and run back to her ex. He told me he was going to go back with her and try to make it work, but as soon as he took her back she told him she was going to fight for him because he was spending time with me and she didn't like it. Needless to say he told her it's not going to work and that he's tired of being used. So now she's alone and my ex is alone and karma has come back to kick them both in the butt. In the meantime there were things that I found out about by ex that really make me sick. I found out that not only did he have an affair with our mutual friend, but he slept with his ex-wife one night when he was dropping off something for their son that he needed for school the next day. I also found out that his ex-wife knew about his gf and was helping them sneak around together behind my back, and a friend that I was going to for support during the affair with this mutual friend, knew about them as well and was letting her use her phone to talk to my ex so her # wouldn't show up on the bill, and she was going back and telling them everything I was confiding in her, and my ex was going around telling everyone that the reason he left me was because I'm a head case, that I see a therapist, I'm heavily medicated, all lies. The whole thing just discust me. It really makes it hard for me to trust anyone. They all deserve one another. As far as me, I'm closing that chapter of my life and I'm not looking back. People like that don't deserve my friendship. It just makes it really hard to believe that there are people out there that will truly want to love me and not have some secret aggenda. I really don't want to go through life not trusting anyone though because then I feel like my ex won. As far as the house goes, we've gotten one offer, but it's going to be a short sale, so the bank has to approve the offer, and it could take a while, but my ex is the one that has to live in that empty house every day and be reminded of everything he gave up, not me. Well thank you all for taking the time to read this, and please keep sending me your support. I need as many true friends as I can get to help me get through this. Thanks again.

Deedee I'm so glad that you posted. I have been wondering how you have been. I'm so happy that you made a wise decision, and got out of that mess. I wouldn't worry about what your ex is saying. Clearly he has shown that it is him who needs therapy. That is pretty nasty how that group had to decieve you. I find it really discusting when someone needs to hurt someone else for their own pleasure. I do hope that if your ex decides to come by, that you will still shut him out. Now he will realize that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. They all just got a smack in the face. Good for them. They all deserve one another. And you Deedee are worth so much more than that.

Well said, jerrymichele! You're right, deedee - they all deserve each other - and they will continue to manipulate and backstab everyone around them and each other because that is who they are - that is who each of them has chosen to be (birds of a feather). It's a dangerous world out there and your trust should not be given to anyone too freely - make others prove that they are worthy of your trust first, otherwise the predators will just eat you up.

Sorry to hear about the carbon monoxide poisoning - what a scare! Glad you are okay and doing better. Take good care of yourself, deedee, and let us know how things are going. We're always here for you.