[Frost287]

So I've been with this girl for a few months now and lately we've been talking less and less and having a few problems. When I try and talk to her about it she brings up her ex who she's been in love with since she was a kid she says its not her fault for wanting to hold on to memories of him when shes having problems because it reminds her she was once very happy. it just me or is she pretty much saying shes still in love with him and im like second best? because that's how it sounds to me.

[salukigirl]

I don't blame you, if I heard those things I would feel the same way. The only way to know is to just ask her. I would wonder why she couldn't think of a time earlier in your relationship when she was happy, why she has to revert to her ex. Sounds like you two have a lot of talking to do. Best of luck.

[jerrymichele]

Originally Posted by Frost287

So I've been with this girl for a few months now and lately we've been talking less and less and having a few problems. When I try and talk to her about it she brings up her ex who she's been in love with since she was a kid she says its not her fault for wanting to hold on to memories of him when shes having problems because it reminds her she was once very happy. it just me or is she pretty much saying shes still in love with him and im like second best? because that's how it sounds to me.

If this was me, I would go ahead and end the relationship. She's not over her ex yet. Why would you want to be with her if she is always talking about him? I think that she is disrespecting you doing that. Find someone who really wants to be with you.

[VickiesPath]

JMHO, 1) she is not over him yet, and 2) she is using him as an excuse of avoidance. She will never deal with the here and now while she has a memory that is replacing the present for her. She may never get back with him but she may use this vision of the perfect, happy time for who knows how long instead of working on her relationship issues. I would say to end it. She is unreachable unless you can break through that shell.

[theotterone]

The hardest thing to do when you want a relationship in your life is to be alone. Take the time to get to know YOU. Once you are ok being alone and want, not need, someone romatically involved, it is much easier to attract and maintain a relationship.

I know how hard this is. I didn't really get to that point until my husband and I nearly divorced. I realized I was strong enough and loved myself enough to stand on my own and take care of our daughters. I think my husband respects me more now that he knows that I have no problem standing on my own two feet.

Good luck!

[angelikah26]

Originally Posted by Frost287

So I've been with this girl for a few months now and lately we've been talking less and less and having a few problems. When I try and talk to her about it she brings up her ex who she's been in love with since she was a kid she says its not her fault for wanting to hold on to memories of him when shes having problems because it reminds her she was once very happy. it just me or is she pretty much saying shes still in love with him and im like second best? because that's how it sounds to me.

I'm sorry that she's putting you through this. This sounds like a very painful relationship for you to be in. It also sounds to me like she's still in love with him or maybe in love with the memories of him.