[buffy2]

Hello fellow Forum members,

I am feeling a rush of adrenalin infused anger. My husband just said, excitedly, that friends from out of town were coming to visit for four days at Thanksgiving. They were making reservations at a hotel but would be "happy" to stay with us. Clearly my husband wants them to stay with us. Three days ago I said I would consider going somewhere with this family but was not interested in hosting them and all the work that involves--in addition to my son being home from college. I am the bad guy in all this--The worst thing is this has happened repeatedly over the years. We have been in therapy for over a year, I am ready to tell him the only option is divorce--what could he be thinking. I made my opinion and my needs clear and again they were discounted again. How can I be so stupid to still be here and be so angry again.
I have real affection for the family that is going to visit our town but they are very high maintenance, very high. Right now I am simply planning to visit my family out of town. Thanks

[Rmdctc]

I would just leave for the time they are going to be there, thats if you only want a short term fix. As far as long term sounds like you need to leave him altogether. Sounds like he does not respect your needs and wants.

Yep I agree off you go to your relatives ! He invited them let him cook and clean for them .

Perhaps next time he will think a little more about it then.

[jerrymichele]

I agree with everyone else. Let him be the host, and you and your son leave. Give him something to think about. I would also tell him that if the house isn't clean when I return your stuff is going to be out the door along with you.

[lynn P.]

I can sooo relate to your feelings. Lately since the economy is bad we haven't been hosting to many parties. But 3 yrs ago - my GOD - it was one party after the other and any relative that came to visit had to stay at our house - I'm talking months at a time. There's this one doctor friend of his who used to come and sleep over. This guy wouldn't even have the politeness to say thank you or even "how are you". We have a backyard pool and in the summer it was a party every darn weekend. You know what's even more annoying is these people never reciprocate in return.
I support you in your decision to go to your relatives house and let him be Mr. Hospitality - maybe he'll think twice next time before he extends and invite. He won't be able to sit on his butt while you do all the work.

[AAAAA]

Hello Buffy2, and welcome to PC!

I don't know what it is about men and not thinking things out. I'm married to a very wonderful man but sometimes I think he's lost his bloody mind. Thanksgiving is the beginning of a very stressful season for us. I stopped hosting it because I just couldn't manage it anymore. After that he continued to insist that we go to his parents house and volunteered me to cook the turkey. DUH that's the hardest part! A forty pound bird requires a great deal of prep. Since his parents live 3 hours away and have so many people there already it requires leaving the house at 1 am. In HORRIBLE weather usually.

It sounds like you have a plan, stick to it. Have a nice relaxing holiday somewhere else.

[Rmdctc]

So what are you gonna do? What did he say?