[kimmydawn]

i don't know how much more i can take. y'all know that i'm raising my 2 yr. old nephew. that's been hard in an of itself. it's been ongoing.

i had to go and see my father who's in ICU on a ventilator after removal of a lung to cancer. i had to leave him to come home...lying in that bed...alone. i can't say what that did to me to see him like that. i cried the entire way home, of course.

i come home (after getting myself together a bit) and listen to messages. well, someone had forgotten to hang the phone up, and you have to listen to it all and then erase if. after a bit i could hear talking (i'm just waiting for it to end so that i can erase it!). it was my future son-in-law and his mother talking. she was talking about how things need to get done for my daughter's baby shower. my future son-in-law said that my other daughter (maid of honor) was very immature, and that me and my husband have spoiled her badly. his mother went on to say that she's just not used to immature children. then she said something else and he said, "well, jen's mom just isn't very reliable." immediate knife in my heart. this woman has tried to take over the shower since we started the planning. she had just called me so sweetly and asked (because i'm going thru so much with the baby and my father), do you want me to get the invitations out. please keep in mind that i've been on my daughter for about a week and a half for the friggin list! she still hasn't given me the list! how can i get invitations out without a list????

the timing of this message was perfect...NOT. my heart is broken. i'm supposed to act like everything is fine at this shower now?

i don't know what to feel or think. i've been broken.

thanks,

kd

(((((((((((kimmydawn))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry! You know you have a genuine heart. I just wanted to give you a hug and some comfort.

EV

[nothemama8]

Okay first thing first , your still emotionally raw from your visit, 2nd tell your daughter you need the list today or you won't be able to send out the invitations, 3rd tell the future son-in-law what you heard and ask him to please remember to hang up the phone from now on, 4th tell the nosey busy body thatit's your daugther and you are very capable of getting things done
Angie

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((Kimmy)))))))))))))))))))))

I agree with Angie. I can understand your hurt and pain and I am so sorry you had to hear that. I would definitely bring it to their attention.

[Eva1nder]

((((((((( kimmy ))))))))))

I agree with angie and jen too ... I went through huge problems like this when I was getting married (the in-law family) and I used to make myself sick mostly because I never said anything.

I'd go in circles and talk endlessly within my family about it. I'd of felt a lot better if I'd just of said something.

It hurts. but it's better to let them know they were in poor tast to go on like that regardeless of whatever they thought at this time.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this at this time.

*hugs*

[SweetCrusader]

((((((((((((((((kd)))))))))))))))))))))

Sweetie, maybe you need to have a talk with your daughter and find out how she's feeling about all this?

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. That's just awful. You are already dealing with so much in your life right now.



Love lots,
Angela

[wi_fighter]

(((((((((kimmydawn)))))))))))

I'm so sorry you had to hear those mean-spirited things. If they could only see the person who is so thoughtful and caring here, they wouldn't have dared to say those things.

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((((( kimmy ))))))))))))))))

[h0kie]

((((((((((kd))))))))))

I think you need to let your future sil know what happened and what you heard. Mostly, for your daughter's sake. There is obviously going to be some tension for you around him and your daughter is going to pick up on it. Being upfront with him will let him decide how to deal with things...and make him more aware of his actions.

If I were your daughter, I would want to be kept out of it as much as possible because being in the middle of a spouse and a parent is hard.

Good luck to you. PM me if you need anything. You're in my thoughts.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Kimmy Dawn --

Got no advice. It's a bad spot to be in & I don't blame for feeling hurt and confused @ how to handle it. I am not very good at "standing up to people" and it often turns out so badly, that the results have not been encouraging.

(((((((((((((((((((KimmyDawn)))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((kimmy)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[roxxy]

Unreal kimmydawn! That's just what you don't need!

I have to agree with the other posters advice on confronting your future SIL and at least let him know you heard it all.
I too am not good at confrontations but this would be a time where I would feel warrant to say something. If I was stupid enough to get caught in such an ignorant situation, then I deserve the humiliation of knowing how insensitive I was. Of course I would never be so judge mental in the first place.

Sometimes people just don't think. Sometimes people say stupid things and need to hear that what they said was ill received.

I hope your feeling better

[kimmydawn]

thank you so much (((((((((((((((((((( everyone )))))))))))))))))))))) i wish i could respond to each post individually but i simply don't have what it takes. i'm sorry i care so much for y'all and appreciate you so much.

i HAVE to confront someone or this is going to eat me up. i listened to it again and it also had his mother accusing my youngest daughter of being jealous of her daughter (she's met my daughter once) for being so involved and she thinks she isn't. this isn't true.

she also said sending invitations out isn't hard and that i was making it difficult...umm, my daughter (the one getting married) must not be keeping them informed of the why's and wherefore's of the situation. i've asked her 4 times for the list of names. she never brought, emailed or anything them to me.

this has hurt me bad. furthermore, i think we called daughter last nite and now i can't get ahold of her. i can't imagine being nasty to my daughter, but we were pretty upset and defensive, as well as triggered with the father situation. now, she's not answering her phone. this is nuts!

thank you again. i'm going to try to make it thru the next hour without crying more.

take good care, friends.

Kimmy, i don't have any advice but i'm just sick that you heard that conversation. they said you're not reliable...they are insensitive as all get out.....xoxo pat p.s. i think you're perfectly reliable....

[January]

Kimmy,

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((kimmy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0

Please keep the copy of the recording and play it in front of your future inlaws. That should stop further back biting in the future. Do not feel you need to befriend these people unless and until you get a full apology. I urge you to let Jen listen to it, too. This is no time to keep huge secrets in the family.

If I sound harsh, it's because I learned the hard way that keeping secrets to keep down trouble is a breeding ground for even more abuse.

Jan.

Jan

[Nerak]

((((((((((Kimmy))))))))))) I am sorry you are hurting so bad.

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((((((((Kim))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'm so sorry you are hurting.

[h0kie]

I'm going to have to disagree with Jan. Delete that message KD. If you are anything like me (and I think you are) you will continue to torment yourself with that message for as long as it is in your possession.

I replayed messages when I found the cellphone frequently, until I finally deleted them. Deleting them helped. I couldn't continue to injure myself emotionally by listening to them over and over and over.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((princess))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

The whole thing is just plain cruddy if you ask me. I have a big problem when people say things behind my back instead of to me. I completely understand why you're upset and you have the right to be. I think that a calm and collected conversation is the right way to go. And if I know you, you'll be the very definition of diplomacy. Good luck princess. I'm sorry that you're hurting. All my love.

Ry