[akemi.love6]

so my boyfriend has been going though some really tough times. i been trying to comfront him and make him feel better, but he don't seem to care one way or the other, he just keep telling me that he is tired of trying and he will nver be anything so i should just leave him alone. hearing him say this really hrut my feelings cause i love and care for him alot. anything i say that could help him he just find a way to make it not work.

someone please tell me, what should i do???

He needs to be encouraged to go to the Drs, he sounds very low and other than the Dr I really dont know what you can say to him at this moment in time.

[Yesterdays]

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend's depression. I'll give you a few of my thoughts on the matter.

I would try your best not to become angry with your boyfriend. He is obviously struggling with his emotions. You talking to him and supporting him shows that you are a great friend, and he deserves that kind of friend in his life right now. All I can say is, continue to support your boyfriend, but also support yourself. Don't lose sight of your emotions because you are helping him deal with his as well.

I've been in a similar situation in the past, and what I learned was that sure your boyfriends emotions and struggles matter - but so do yours. Take the time to help him, but continue to help yourself. If he's bringing you down, you don't constantly have to be his cheerleader. As a friend, of course you feel the need to support him. But take a break once in awhile, and continue to support yourself.

I would also try to convince your boyfriend to talk to someone else in his life about this as well. It's not your job to cure his depression, and you are not capable of doing so. If this depression is serious, he can't go it alone. There's only a certain amount of support you can give him. You're not a professional, and to truly face and get through his depression, maybe that's what he needs.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend x

[FeelingHopeful]

Is there anythng recently to trigger his depression?

[VickiesPath]

I am a person who has had mental illness all my life. I can tell you that it is no picnic for the people around me. You are having a very rough time. The only thing I can say is you are doing a wonderful job trying to be patient. I know you feel helpless and that there is nothing you can do. Believe me, just being there and being his friend is a lot. You can't change the way he feels. He is sick. He needs medication.

See if you can encourage him to go to see a psychiatrist to get some medication for his depression. If he's already on meds, maybe he needs to switch to another one. It does get old after a while having to deal with depression over and over. But, unfortunately, some of us have to do it. Like Yesterdays said, try to not become angry with him. I know it's hard. He has little control over his emotions right now.

He is very lucky to have you in his life. I hope you can reason with him and tell him that you love him and want him to feel better. Please keep us posted.

[Sunee]

There is not much you can do for him except be there for him. Don't try to overdue the cheering squad (that brings feelings of guilt to him which doesn't help), just be yourself, that's who he fell in love with. Just being there for him with a hug or a smile is what he needs, even if he doesn't acknowledge it.

He's lucky to have someone who cares enough about him to even be on this site to try and understand. He does need professional help, but he will get it when he feels ready and able to admit it even to himself (the hardest part).

When someone goes in their "way down" mode, there is nothing you can do for him, just love him and remember, only time can help him, but your love will get him through.

Best of luck Sweetie.

[FeelingHopeful]

Aww. I wish I had the right answers for you. Im Going through sometying similiar. Just try and be there for him. Im trying so hard with my guy friend to help and be there for him. He means alot to me so I try and be there to offer support and give him space when he needs it? Does your bf take any neds or see therapist?That could help.

[Peppermint_Patty]

Akemi,

Originally Posted by akemi.love6

so my boyfriend has been going though some really tough times. i been trying to comfront him and make him feel better, but he don't seem to care one way or the other, he just keep telling me that he is tired of trying and he will nver be anything so i should just leave him alone. hearing him say this really hrut my feelings cause i love and care for him alot. anything i say that could help him he just find a way to make it not work.

someone please tell me, what should i do???

You know, you could always break up with him. I know you said you love him, but if hanging out with him gets to be too much of a drag, then it's time to leave.

After all, you sought out a relationship in the first place because you like the happiness a relationship brings you, right?

So why hang out with a wet blanket who robs you of this potential joy?

Also... is it your responsibility to fix his problems?? No... he has to do that for himself!!

Anyway... you may not like my advice but I am speaking from experience here. I was in a long term relationship with a guy who was depressed. I finally reached my fill of the constant "woe is me" crap.

Dumping him was best thing I ever did.

Good luck to you,

Peppermint

[FeelingHopeful]

Was he depressed when you met him.? maybe he is just going through stuff. how long have you been together? maybe he just needs some space. aww girl good luck!

[smilewithme]

it's just a time problem he will be ok believe me . my boyfriend did that to me once and I did everything to cahnge his mode . but time is only solution .

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by akemi.love6

so my boyfriend has been going though some really tough times. i been trying to comfront him and make him feel better, but he don't seem to care one way or the other, he just keep telling me that he is tired of trying and he will nver be anything so i should just leave him alone. hearing him say this really hrut my feelings cause i love and care for him alot. anything i say that could help him he just find a way to make it not work.

someone please tell me, what should i do???

First and formost, Akemi, make sure you are taking care of YOU. It's hard when the people you love hurt. Don't get so wrapped up in what he is going through that you neglect yourself!

Sometimes, we get to the point in depression where nothing seems to make it better. I have struggled with clinical depression and anxiety disorder since puberty (that was back when Moby was a minnow, but I digress). My depressive episodes and panic attacks used to infuriate my husband. He was trying to fix what ever was causing the problem. Unfortunately, there may be nothing an outside souce CAN fix. You can be supportive and suggest that he see a doctor or mental health professioinal, but please PLEASE don't forget to take care of yourself. If it becomes too much, take a break from eachother until he gets help and improves or decide if, for your OWN mental health, you need to break up.