[idontknow13]

I was in a relationship for a very long time, then found out he had been lying or hiding something from me for quite a while, we broke up over it. A year later we started seeing each other again and although I know we love each other I am having a hard time trusting him again, that is the only thing that is keeping us apart.
How do you learn to trust again??? I do have trust issues and one word to describe me would be honesty.

[jenkins09]

Originally Posted by idontknow13

I was in a relationship for a very long time, then found out he had been lying or hiding something from me for quite a while, we broke up over it. A year later we started seeing each other again and although I know we love each other I am having a hard time trusting him again, that is the only thing that is keeping us apart.
How do you learn to trust again??? I do have trust issues and one word to describe me would be honesty.

I think you can trust again. Just ask yourself "does the behavior match up with what's being said." Is he being open and honest now in that area that he wasn't before? Are you telling him how you feel so he understands your insecurities? If you see that he is in fact open to being honest with you and showing you by his actions then I think that will make it easier for you to trust him. Remember rebuiding trust is a process. Good luck.

[theotterone]

Originally Posted by idontknow13

I was in a relationship for a very long time, then found out he had been lying or hiding something from me for quite a while, we broke up over it. A year later we started seeing each other again and although I know we love each other I am having a hard time trusting him again, that is the only thing that is keeping us apart.
How do you learn to trust again??? I do have trust issues and one word to describe me would be honesty.

I can't offer you any great words of wisdom or some example from my life that will assure you it will be ok.

What I can tell you is I am right there with you! I will take your hand and walk with you. I am STILL having a REALLY HARD TIME trusting D after he wanted to divorce almost 4 years ago. I am terrified of being emotionally vulnerable with him since I felt "stomped on". We are in therapy, and while I am not "actively" weighing our future (you know the song... Do I Stay or Do I Go Now...) I am taking it issue by issue.

I'm here with you, so remember you are not alone!

[VickiesPath]

The advice from Jenkins and theotterone is great. It starts with a decision. You decide to trust. Then you do what Jenkins said and observe if the behaviors match the promise. A person can only try. Both people can only try. We are human. We decide to give the other one a chance. The reward can be worth it in the end. If it doesn't prove successful, don't beat yourself up, just say, you tried.

[scribbling2much]

Originally Posted by idontknow13

I was in a relationship for a very long time, then found out he had been lying or hiding something from me for quite a while, we broke up over it. A year later we started seeing each other again and although I know we love each other I am having a hard time trusting him again, that is the only thing that is keeping us apart.
How do you learn to trust again??? I do have trust issues and one word to describe me would be honesty.

You can't make yourself trust, only the experience of his trustworthiness will teach you. He has to learn to trust you with the truth as well. 2 people with trust issues + time + communication = developing trust.

[Catherine2]

Originally Posted by idontknow13

I was in a relationship for a very long time, then found out he had been lying or hiding something from me for quite a while, we broke up over it. A year later we started seeing each other again and although I know we love each other I am having a hard time trusting him again, that is the only thing that is keeping us apart.
How do you learn to trust again??? I do have trust issues and one word to describe me would be honesty.

Good advice already given...and I hope it helps, idontknow.

One question came to mind when I was reading your post;
What is he doing to earn your trust?
Jmo, but it's got to be a two-way street when building/rebuilding a relationship.

Trust comes over time, consistent behavior that helps to dissolve the questions on whether he has truly changed.

Perhaps your hesitation is because it is too soon? Sometimes it's best to let go and let things develop as they may...taking the pressure off yourself may lead you to better understanding of what you want...and deserve from this relationship.

In Peace
Catherine

jmo

[Pomegranate]

I agree with everyone else here. Trust needs to be earned when there has been a breach in trust. And learning to trust again is a process, that does not necessarily mean you WILL be able to trust again. No fault in that. To thine own self be true. Trust your gut instincts.