[jensasweetie]

I am not sure where to start. I have made posts here and there over the last couple weeks; I am just so confused. I need to know how we can pull ourselves out of the holes we are in at times.

I have a lot of baggage. lol. There have been many things in life that I rolled with. I am not sure that these things were ever dealt with. Some major, some not so much. Anyway, I am at a point now where everything around me seems to be crumbling. I am aware that the majority of it may be my mindset. How do I shake that. It seems impossible to find the silver lining; although I always in the past was the positive one. I feel as though I have lost myself.

I know I haven't given a ton of info here. Let me know if you need examples. I guess the attitude is the biggest problem and all the rest are symptoms of it. Believe me, it is tearing apart my world as we speak and am losing all the imp things to me

Any insight will be greatly appreciated.

Huggs

Jen

[robin620]

I'm kind of in the same situation - too many things to work on and I want them all taken care of NOW. As I was reading your message, for some reason Benjamin Franklin's autobiography came to mind. In it, he listed 12 or 13 things he saw in himself that needed to be worked on. He decided to work on one thing each week, but left open the idea that there may be improvement on things he's not speicfically working on as well. I the book, he kept a chart so he could mark off what area he was working on. Nothing changed immediatly, but he had a plan on how to make the changes slowly so they would be more likely to last.

Maybe I should make up one of those lists for myself. . .

[pndrgn99]

Originally Posted by jensasweetie

I am not sure where to start. I have made posts here and there over the last couple weeks; I am just so confused. I need to know how we can pull ourselves out of the holes we are in at times.

I have a lot of baggage. lol. There have been many things in life that I rolled with. I am not sure that these things were ever dealt with. Some major, some not so much. Anyway, I am at a point now where everything around me seems to be crumbling. I am aware that the majority of it may be my mindset. How do I shake that. It seems impossible to find the silver lining; although I always in the past was the positive one. I feel as though I have lost myself.

I know I haven't given a ton of info here. Let me know if you need examples. I guess the attitude is the biggest problem and all the rest are symptoms of it. Believe me, it is tearing apart my world as we speak and am losing all the imp things to me

Any insight will be greatly appreciated.

Huggs

Jen

Jen, the first thing i notice is that you are soo ready to assume that the "problem" is you , your attitude etc. Maybe a reframe or two. First the issue isn't always a problem its sometimes an experience you can't proces, arn't enjoying and don't know how to change, no judgement ever really helps. Next, the fear concerns me, safety is always necessary for positive change and the first step is to create some for yourself. now maybe you'll be good to go. my advice, think about this possibility, the only difference between grief and joy is fear. deciding what you are afraid of, how to managethat and feeling what is real to be afraid of (fear is frequently about what we are sure will happen but hasn't yet) and then seeing what is just something we are afraid to feel. meanwhile I'll be pulling or ya whatever and wherever you might be.

Hang in there there are more of us who care how you feel than you can imagine

[VickiesPath]

I'm just going on assumption here but you say that in the past you were always the positive one. A positive attitude usually takes faith that the future will bring good things. Is that faith shaken for some reason? Is there a reason that your positivity is no longer there?

Do you suddenly feel powerless over something that you care about? Do you have the fear that you are going to lose something you care about? It may be that fear, like what pndrgn99 spoke of, that is shaking you.

These are all guesses cuz I haven't been following your posts, per se. Let us know more specifically what is up.

[billieJ]

((((((((((((((jenasweetie)))))))))))))))), I believe I read an earlier post of yours, or perhaps a more recent one, where you mentioned that you had given up drinking and were wondering if this might cause some emotional reaction. Well, it certainly can, and much of it fits with what you are describing above. Actually, you may have had these feelings for much longer that you many realize, but the alcohol, even in binges, covered them up. Giving up drinking can seem like you are losing all the imp things in your life; that once you had it together, but now it is crumbling. It's the defense and lack of inhibitions created [for, oh, such a short time] by the alcohol that are crumbling, and you may be facing difficult issues in your life head on for the first time. If this is wrong, please feel free to shout me down, as my memory is very poor, but I recall your username, because I looked at it after inviting you to write me at any time. Please consult a therapist of psychiatrist to see if some type of treatment would benefit you, before these feelings go further. Caring About You - billieJ

[jensasweetie]

((((all of you)))

You are all right on with exactly my thoughts. I am so glad we have this forum. WOW. Thank you. So my options are AA meetings? any other ideas of how to learn to live for a change?

Huggs

Jen

[theotterone]

We all need help sometimes. Have you looked into seeing a therapist? They may at least be able to help you get some clarity.

Many of us have been where you are. I am glad to say I've come out that other side. It was only recently (despite my depression getting better) that I have decided I want to live rather than just exist. Now that I am being treated for ADHD, I can slow my thought process down and "roll with it" much easier. I am able to deal with things and allow what time needs to pass to resolve things. It is great that you have reached the point where you are aware of what is happening and want to change it.

My mom is a big fan of "choose your attitude". Hard for me since I am SO NOT a morning person! Fake it until you make it. I had to learn how to do that since I work in a call center and if I am tired, depressed or angry, I can't let it show in my voice. I started a thread in the Depression Forum called "What did we do today?" (I admittedly stole the idea from Lisa Michelle, but she was good with it.) I took that idea along with the ADHD tip of making a list of 5 things to do for a day and crossing them out as I got them done. Even if it is only one or two things, write them down at the end of the day. You'll going to bed feeling like you got something done! I also started writing "dedications" in my journal. If I were to write a best selling book, who would I dedicate it to? What would I write for that dedication? I found it a creative way of counting my blessings!

I hope this helps!