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#1
Apr 27, 2005, 10:38 PM
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Hi everyone,
I need an advice about what I should do. So here is the situation... I cannot stop thinking about someone I met over 5 years ago. I haven't seen him since that time. We never went out. I met him in high school and I fell in love at the first sight. When I saw him, my first automatic thought was..this is a guy I'm gonna marry. And I know it's been more than a crush. I also felt like he was attracted to me too and we had this connection but nothing really happened - I was very shy in high school. My problem is I can't stop thinking about him. I used to imagine that I bump into him one day and something will start between us. I know someone may say that I should contact him but I don't want to do it like that. I know he has a girlfriend now and I wouldn't want to come between him and somebody else but at the same time i can't forget him. I know it seems like I live in this illusion, so how can I get out of this state of being stuck in the past? |
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#2
Apr 27, 2005, 11:10 PM
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My suggestion is for you to find somebody else who can replace him. That's the only method I know.
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The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. -Carl Jung |
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#3
Apr 28, 2005, 02:24 PM
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Well, I've gone through some relationship stuff recently and I can tell you that things like this are difficult and I understand how you feel. So here's the deal... if you can't have him, then you've got to try to move on. There's no one way really. You could try going out with friends. I've always found that love hits me when I'm not looking for it. It always just kinda happens. Maybe you could try to forget. It takes a lot, but it's possible. Are there any guys that are interested in you? Maybe you could give one of them a chance. If you do this, you have to remember that this isn't the other guy and remember not to compare the two, but see who you're out with for who they are. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Hope it helps. Oh yeah, and welcome to Psych Central.
Ry |
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#4
Apr 28, 2005, 04:44 PM
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Thanx,
I'm actually seeing someone but although this person is really great to me I don't feel like this is "it". Also I keep comparing everyone to the person. At one point, he broke up with his gf but I didn't want to make any moves because I knew that he was on a rebound. And then he got back with his gf. |
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#5
Apr 28, 2005, 07:34 PM
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Yikes... sounds like you got it bad. Are you in therapy of any kind? That helps me deal with emotions that I have and don't understand or want. Just a thought.
Ry |
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#6
Apr 28, 2005, 08:33 PM
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Lemme just say this. I am in love with my ex-husband still. Every guy I go out with will never measure up to him. You will never forget. If you don't have the guts to be honest with him, you don't have the guts to be with him. If you guys ever do go out and break up he will hurt you. What if you relize that all it was, was just a little school girl crush and you are breaking his heart. Or the best case senrio you guys fall in love get married and have many babies. Look at all your options. If you got the guts then go for it.
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#7
Apr 29, 2005, 01:49 PM
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I have the same unrequitted love for someone I had an affair with, Mark. It really hurts...every time you think you're over him, there, it comes back and overwhelms you. It took me five years, yet I have found someone new, AJ. For those five years, I bonded with friends, had interesting jobs, and went on my best front, even though my insides were screaming, I can't go on..what I want to say is your pain is real, very real, and it's not without due cause, one can get attached to anyone under any circumstance..mine, after all, was an affair with a married man..I could see how you couls become attached to someone from seeing them in school, in school you share the same peers, activities, everything..ok here's what's coming to me to say..go out and get involved in everything you can, church, counseling, friends, jobs, I met my man just by having connections here and there..you are in my heart..I am praying for you..
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#8
May 14, 2005, 01:16 PM
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Sometimes people in our past never leave our heart. But that's OK. I've been married for 10 years now (happily) but still think about my ex-boyfriend who I thought was my "soul mate", but I wasn't his. I still think about him often and wonder how he is doing.
You'll find someone to replace him, but that doesn't mean you have to stop remembering him as it sounds like he made you happy and we need our happy memories. Missi 
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Schatze Needs a Sig |
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#9
May 30, 2005, 04:29 AM
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bump
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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