[trader]

My husband and I were married 10 years ago and have a 10-yr-old daughter together. After I caught him smoking pot I threatened to leave him and take our daughter with me. He promised to quit but has since then started back up again. The problem for me is not so much the smoking but his dysfunctional behaviors. He refuses to address his issues no matter what I've tried and has dropped out of counseling more than twice. He is verbally abusive, financially irresponsible, impulsive, arrogant, and a compulsive liar and procrastinator. I inadvertently lost all my power in this marriage and am financially strapped. I have tried relentlessly to get a full-time job, but it has not happened. I am a substitute teacher who earns less than 20,000 a year and no benefits. I am happy with the hours I work because I can be home to cook dinner and do homework with my daughter. What I am waiting for is a miracle. In the meantime, may I please get some suggestions; the more the merrier.

[bebop]

he would have to pay child support and that would help. sorry I can't tell you to leave your husband. I don't think any of us can here. that is a decision only you can make. think about how much of his behavior you can handle. think about...do you still love him

[Pomegranate]

If your most important goal is being a good mother to your daughter, then do that. Keep your eye on what's best for you and your daughter. Let your husband make his own mistakes and decisions. Go to counseling by yourself, or, better yet, with your daughter. Keep working toward a goal of becoming financially independent of him. Give up the idea of him ever changing. When you stop trying to change him and just take care of yourself and your daughter, the miracle will happen - in one form or another.

[jerrymichele]

Personally, I would try to get out of it. The name calling would be enough for me. Besides that your daughter doesn't need to be around that. I do hope that everything works out for you.