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#1
Dec 10, 2009, 10:19 PM
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I really do... sometimes I wonder why I married my husband.
 
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#2
Dec 10, 2009, 10:28 PM
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Why did you marry him?
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 Miracle1986
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#3
Dec 10, 2009, 10:40 PM
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I agree. That's a good question. I'm sure there must be something.....
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| Miracle1986
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#4
Dec 11, 2009, 06:46 AM
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Sounds like it may be time for some serious soul searching. You do love him?
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Phoenix47 |
| Miracle1986
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#5
Dec 11, 2009, 07:30 AM
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Maybe if you tell us more we can help you.
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| Miracle1986
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#6
Dec 11, 2009, 11:24 AM
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I wonder that about my own husband......perhaps that is why we are separated.....the longer we are apart, the more I wonder. How long have you been with your spouse?
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  ToniH
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| Miracle1986
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#7
Dec 11, 2009, 02:41 PM
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What happened Manda?
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| Miracle1986
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#8
Dec 11, 2009, 03:18 PM
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I am having to worry about where our next meal is coming from. My husband has no job, and imo, is not doing everything he possibly can to find one. I feel like he doesn't care enough about supporting his wife.
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#9
Dec 11, 2009, 07:38 PM
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Practical suggestion: call 211 or look up United Way 211 in your browser. There are a ton of foodbanks list...even a little financial help. Work together as a team to get all the help you need. I wish you well.
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| Miracle1986
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#10
Dec 12, 2009, 06:07 PM
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So, do you love him because he was there and sort of rescued you while you were going through something traumatic...?
Or...do you love him for who he really is? Do you love him for his laugh, his smile, the way he reaches out for you at night while you're sleeping? Do you love seeing his smile? Do you love him/respect him for his morals and values? Is he someone who you feel you can rely on to shoulder the load and catch you if you fall, and be there to help keep your family going in time of need? What do you love about him? I've known many people who have "fallen in love" with someone because that person was "there for them" during a crisis. I hate to say it, but most of the time it turned out that that person who "rescued" them was only taking advantage of their weaknesses and the fact that they were vulnerable at the time. What does your husband get out of your relationship? So far, he gets a life where he does not have to earn a living or support a family. He gets to live in a house that is paid for by someone else. He understands that the people paying for this house know he is out of work and are still paying his rent for him...so therefor, why should he get a job? He has a wife that is always there for what he needs when he needs it and all he has to do is give the least amount of himself possible to keep her satisfied. So, I'd say he gets more than his fair share. I'd say he's taking advantage of you. I'm not saying he isn't a nice person, or that he doesn't have his positive qualities, but it sounds like he's found a good thing in your relationship and is feeling a little too comfortable. It is obvious that you are not content in your relationship sweety or you would not be posting these questions. Things to think about..... Who would Manda be without this man in her life? What would it look like for Manda to stand on her own. Is the biggest fear/reason not to rock the boat because you are afraid to be alone? Because you feel like you need him? Because you feel like you will be lost without someone in your life? These aren't necessarily the most wisest reasons to stay in a relationship. Now....if you were to say that you didn't want to be apart from him because he is reliable...he is your rock...he brings you up as opposed to pulling you down, he is a positive force in your life and he offers his strength and love to you to help you get through. If you were to tell me that you love him for who he is and not for the fact that he was the one that was there.... It's nice that he was there for you during your traumatic time. But is he there for you now? When he won't work, won't help support the family....when he treats you so cold....Is he there for you? When you were going through your difficult time....that could have been any other man that helped you through. If it would have been a different man....instead of your husband....would you still love your husband and be as loyal to him? Just posing some difficult questions for you to think on. You don't have to answer them here. What's important is that you can answer them within yourself. I am always here for you!! 
__________________
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| cantstopcrying, Miracle1986
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#11
Dec 14, 2009, 04:51 AM
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#12
Dec 14, 2009, 11:36 AM
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Times are tough.......lots of people out of work and I'm expecting more to follow. If you can't afford to live in that house....put it up for sale. Get out from under the burden. If it dosen't sell within 90 days ask the mortgage company for assistance, or just turn the deed over to them in lieu of forclosure. Hard times are upon us and will be for the decade so it would be the wise one that gets prepared. I'm growing a garden this year and thinking about raising chickens. I am working on getting out of debt and advise everyone to do likewise. I lost my house in August and am going through giving up the property in lieu of foreclosure.There are worse things that could happen. I no longer look at houses/property as an investment but, as a necessity and an expense.
I took all my money and bought 2.5 acre with a mobile home on it and intend to stay there for the rest of my days. You love your husband and you can make it work, just think and plan on what is valuable to you. Houses can be replaced, people can't be unless you have no feelings for them. Good luck to you, Eric |
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#13
Dec 16, 2009, 12:04 AM
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__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#14
Dec 16, 2009, 08:22 AM
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Manda, money issues, joblessness, these are definate stressors on a marriage. If you can realize that and realize that you do love him, that he does love you, hopefully you can talk to him calmly and he can listen calmly. Maybe together you guys can work on answering those questions in a non-confrontational way but rather in a way meant to strengthen your marriage.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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