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#1
Dec 09, 2009, 11:33 PM
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Hello Everyone...
I really think I am loosing my mind. My husband lives in LA. We feel in love 2 years ago and he promised he was going to find a job in Miami ( where I live )...then this entire economy issues happened and even though we both been trying, jobs are really hard to find. As you can imagine, he has his family there, which they dislike the idea he married me and refused to meet me. We worked through it, but everytime something happens, like his father's death...I was not able to attend his funeral only because I was going to upset his children..( mind you they are already married ) and I was going to upset his mother...this was the reason why I was not able to attend. Many of these things happened and for two years, I have not been able to visit him in LA. HOwever, everytime something like this happens, he tells me he was wrong and promise never to shut me out again...and ofcourse everytime he tells me this... I believe him. WE planned to have our first Christmas together in Miami. Unfortunately, his cousin died in a motorcycle accident and his mom got depressed along with high blood pressure...She is 87. He told me he couldnt come to Miami because he was worried about his mother and I couldnt go to LA to spend Christmas with him because it was going to upset her. Again, I am thrown under the bus...and yet he still manages to get emotional with me that he doesnt understand why he cant make me happy...but when he is faced with a decision between me or his mother or family...I am the one pushed aside. I am only good in MIami. I am only his wife when he wants me to be and then disconnects me when he needs to. I know this is not fair and I am stupid to continue to accept it...It is sad to say that I love him, but I cant do this anymore.. Anyone out there have words of courage for me??? Desperately seeking hope... Rare |
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#2
Dec 10, 2009, 06:37 PM
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There are always events that will stop him to see you....but I'm sure if he wants, he will make it....honesty, I see all as an excuse....dead in family and depression and whatever else are happening...if these want to stop him from being your husband, then why waste more time?
I would say to move on and send him an ultimatum and tell him you want divorce and not waste your time anymore....you need lots of time to get over him and get into another relationship.... stay strong and make a right decision take care Marjan |
 TheByzantine
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#3
Dec 11, 2009, 10:48 PM
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Dear Marjan,
Thank you for coming to my rescue. I have no one to talk to. I dont tell my family about what he's done only because I always try to protect him and make sure they dont hate him. But today, I broke down and I had to tell my 19 year old daughter and my mother. As you can imagine, they were in shocked. I know in my heart what I need to do and that is to end this once and for all and hopefully one day be able to see the sun again behind these dark clouds. I know I have to end this, I just need to find my strenght...I just dont know where it is...but I have to find it somewhere... I cant believe I am so weak. Thank you sooo much |
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#4
Dec 12, 2009, 12:10 AM
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May you find the strength you seek, Raredreams. Know that doing what must be done will start the process of healing.
You are not weak. You have been dealt with unfairly and the shock is still resonating. Talk to a lawyer when you are ready and get this unfortunate circumstance behind you. Good luck. |
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#5
Dec 12, 2009, 12:58 AM
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Guy sounds like he's hiding something from you in California and I don't think it is his mother's displeasure. But of course you would know if he were less than honest. You deserve better. Let him go and move on.
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#6
Dec 12, 2009, 01:56 AM
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Ooh Girl!!!! He Cheatin'!!!
 Probably has another family on the West Coast..... Drop him like a hot potato and kick him to the curb!! You got to respect yourself and not let this tramp drag you down. Take control of the situation and move on with your life!! There's someone out there who ain't gonna srting you along and who'll love you better. 
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#7
Dec 12, 2009, 06:05 PM
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Awww....Rare~
You're not losing your mind (or, I would think not). You have been deceived by someone you trusted. From what you've included, it sounds as though he is most definitely hiding something from you. Get yourself an attorney. Notify him that a divorce is in order. And pay close attention to his response. What his actions tell you IS your answer. I'm so very sorry that you have to go through this. I wish you the very best for your recovery. Shangrala 
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 I  U!
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