[Some1whocares]

Ok well for starters i'm a lesbian. Well i've been talking to this girl, i've known her for 2 years and we dated for about a week, then broke up, we're still friends and talk and hangout everyday almost. She knows that i have given her all control of me, and now shes expecting me to take control and i'm not fully understanding that. I don't know what she wants me to take control of. Maybe the first move i dunno..HELP!

Welcome Some1 {{{{{{{{{{{hugs)))))))))))))))))) it's good that you have stayed friends and still hang out. What I don't understand is in what way you have given her all control.....over what? Are you still intimate with her?

Btw, we're "family". It's nice to meet you.

Mary Alice

[Some1whocares]

Well i've given her all control in the aspects of my emotions, my actions and things like that. We never really got all that intimate but i mean it's just so frustrating because i love her so much and it seems like she doesn't believe that

I've been there where my whole world seems to revolve around someone.....I'd jump the minute they would call. It's not a healthy way to "love" someone esp. if you have to keep trying to convince them. You deserve someone who can love you equally in return, someone that believes in you.

Take care.

Mary Alice

P.S. I broke off my relationship because I saw what it was doing to me.

[Some1whocares]

Yeah i know what you mean. Like when the phone rings i'll jump up and see who it is hoping that its her. It seems like i'm never going to please her with anything i do ya know? It's hard for me to move on. Cause i've tried and i just can't.

[Sam]

First, I'd like to give you a hug (((Some1whocares))), and next, some of my thoughts.

As Mary Alice has said - we are one big family, so welcome to our group. If I understand your meaning of that you have given her complete control over you and that she knows this, and that she has stated you need to take control - my thoughts are that she is saying you need to take some control back.

And this may not be a bad thing, for she may very well think more of you than either of you know. For example, when someone knows all they have to do is call you up and you will be there - it takes away their ability to realize just how much they may really care about you. Asbsence, although hard at times, does make the heart grow fonder, so I would simply recommend that you find something else to do with some of your time, but don't exclude her completely.

A good example would be to simply tell her you have deicded that on a particular night you are planing to see a movie, or something else that you would like to do or see (shopping always worked for me - all those lovely dresses, pumps ... sighsss). Invite her and if she would like to join you, great, but if she declines, then go alone.

My guess is that she was someone that can be independent and strong. And if she pulls away, as bad as it may hurt you, you just may be better off, for you deserve someone that loves you equally.

I hope something I have said is helpful to you. It was said in the spirit of caring.

Yours,
Sam

It isn't easy Some1.......I wanted this person for 4 years, had the relationship for 5 months and for the first time experienced happiness. It all fell apart because I "didn't have the clothes to fit in". We are still friends........she has moved on to several diff people but there is a bond that can't be broken, because she showed me who she really is.....and that can't be forgotten.

Try to move on........the pain will always be there, but you deserve more.