[Elysium]

I didn't really talk to any of my family on Christmas. I'm attempting to distance myself a bit because they are highly dysfunctional and if I get to close, I end up getting sucked in to all the drama and dysfunction.

I miss them, especially my Mom. So, I decided to text message her on Christmas Eve to wish her and the family a Merry Christmas. It was a nice text, and I sent her a picture of my dog in her Christmas gear. The next day, Christmas Day, she called me while I was out. She left me a message stating that she was calling to wish me a Merry Christmas and to let me know that she got my text message the night before. She said she would call back later that day to see if she could get hold of me. She never called back.

I sent her another text message Tuesday night to tell her about our snowstorm. Well...she just called me back tonight and we talked for a few minutes. But....she is now stating that she never got a text from me on Christmas Eve and that she was frustrated that I didn't call or let her know if I had received my Grandmother's Christmas card.

But I did!! I even have her on my voicemail still, calling me on Christmas to let me know that she DID get the text message?

I just don't know? I asked her a few times if she was absolutely sure she didn't get my message and she swears she didn't. But if she didn't, why would she have called me and said that she did.

So now I am thinking that she is trying to mess with my head? Since I told her about my diagnosis of DID, she has a few times, attempted to convince me that I have done/said things that I am pretty sure I didn't do/say. And now this!!

I am going to call her in the morning and ask her again...cause I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt...but then, I worry that I'm going to catch her in a lie.

Has anyone else had family members attempt to mess with your heads since finding out about your disorders?

I really hope she just spaced it out. But I'm scared that she didn't.

People who try to mess with my head end up confused. Heck, I am confused even though I have had way more practice.

[VickiesPath]

Elysium,

How old is your mother? Do you think it could be her memory?

[Tatyana2009]

I cant help but writing this: As I was reading your down your post I got more and more a picture of how you (probably without being aware of this) are drawing yourself back into the dysfunctional stuaff that you want to stay away from...

Look how she got you in a state, thinking again and again - did she? didnt she?!

My advice would be to stop thinking like this. Does it matter? In the end of the day - you chose to distance yourself, you texted, you got a voice mail back. You know this is the truth and what happened. The rest is just non-sense. Her non-sense. Not yours. So forget the whole thing and put it down to 'her stuff. not yours'. I hope you can see what I mean?

You know, some times when we identify our condition it opens a door to healing and self awareness. People who are around us and are dysfunctional or are used to certain interaction with us - may not like this change and insight. So they up the anti. It could be that this is what your mum is doing. It is probably out of awareness. But it has the potential of drawing you back into this unhealthy game. It only leads to your frustration and your needs are not met again. So take a step back. Draw the line.

I hope this helps in any way x

[Elysium]

Tatyana....

OMG!!! You are so totally right here!!

I started reading your post and it really just clicked. Thank you so much for being upfront and putting this outhere. It was very helpful.

And thank you to you others that replied too. I appreciate all your support.

Originally Posted by Tatyana2009

I cant help but writing this: As I was reading your down your post I got more and more a picture of how you (probably without being aware of this) are drawing yourself back into the dysfunctional stuaff that you want to stay away from...

Look how she got you in a state, thinking again and again - did she? didnt she?!

My advice would be to stop thinking like this. Does it matter? In the end of the day - you chose to distance yourself, you texted, you got a voice mail back. You know this is the truth and what happened. The rest is just non-sense. Her non-sense. Not yours. So forget the whole thing and put it down to 'her stuff. not yours'. I hope you can see what I mean?

You know, some times when we identify our condition it opens a door to healing and self awareness. People who are around us and are dysfunctional or are used to certain interaction with us - may not like this change and insight. So they up the anti. It could be that this is what your mum is doing. It is probably out of awareness. But it has the potential of drawing you back into this unhealthy game. It only leads to your frustration and your needs are not met again. So take a step back. Draw the line.

I hope this helps in any way x

[mlpHolmes]

I agree with Tatyana 100%.

I've notice that when ppl are uncomfortable about their feelings they respond in just the way you said (ie) total confusion w/ the voicemail & messages. It's all about her Elysium.
I don't think she is trying to hurt you,
rather she feeling some of the dysfunctionality.

* Perhaps she misses you & loves you so very much (but is having a difficult time putting it into words) a reason for all the confusion w/ calling & voicemail. *

My Own Experiences

Blessings,
Holmes

[Tatyana2009]

Glad it helped

[eskielover]

Only time I had anyone do that was after they had a stroke & couldn't remember things or my Grandma when she had alzheimers.

If it is like Tatyana suggests, you might just through back at your mother how conderned you are that she might be at the beginning phase of Alzheimers or possible that she might have had a stroke that has messed with her memory since you have her voice mail telling you that she got your text message......just tell her how concerned you are about her health & want her to go for a checkup (even though you know it's all about her making you feel crazy). Turn the tables on her & let her know that you don't think it could possibly be anything but an illness that she is experiencing.

That way you would be playing her game in reverse & see how she likes it.

Eskielover

[NuckingFutz]

Sometimes people never change. But it did seem hard that you were so reminded of why you left in the first place.

[Tatyana2009]

Personaly, I would not play the game. Reverse or not reverse. I will ignore it and wont discuss it at all. If it happened again - I will say that this is the second time now that she forgers what she has done and it makes me concerened that she might need to be checked up. I would not say more than that. But I guess that once you are aware of the situation (and you know your mum best) it is your call and decision.

[lonegael]

My mom does that type of thing if she feels out of balance and is trying to reestablish her control over her life by trying to control others. I can ignor it now except when she tries to drag a thrid party into it, but thank Godd, most of my sibs know what's going on and don't let her get them wound up any more. Tatayana, excellent posts. Huggs all.