Still Scared

Hello Everyone. Its been awhile since I posted on the anxiety forum. To update- I have let my husband move back home. He has been back for about 3 weeks now. Im really scared that I made a bad decision and shouldn't have done that so soon. He is going to therapy and we have both been placed on Zoloft, his dosage is twice mine. Anyway we went to a psychologist once together who told him that he would need to sit down and talk to me about the charges of battery for frotteurism-touching or rubbing against an unconsenting female or person. He had two counts of this-and i have heard that it was twice with one of the women-a year and a half apart, and then two other women also, although one could not identify him, so the 3rd charge was not pressed. He tells me that he has done terrible things, that's it. Well that I know because he was arrested and this had also happened with my sister on different occasions throughout the years, and a friend before. I know that he has done terrible things but I need for him to talk about this with me so i can know what he is thinking and feeling and have told him so a few times and he says that he will, but has yet to talk to me honestly or openly about any of it. He says I know what happened and I say yeah I know what everyone else has told me-nothing from you. He then says he will talk to me, but all I am hearing are excuses about not having time to do this with the kids, and running them places, etc., which I know this is an excuse because we have had several opportunities to talk without the kids being here or when they are in bed and chooses not to do it. He does go to a psychiatrist/therapy but missed his appointment last week, which i was not happy about. I try not to push him to talk but i feel that if he doesnt there is no chance for change. A psychiatric PA-C told me that if he isn't listening to what psychologist told him to do or me then he would probably be a repeat offender, which really worries me. I keep all of my worries inside, which only pushes us farther away from each other, but I cant talk to him if I only get excuses and dont know if he is being honest with me about anything as he has been a chronic liar about different things over the years. I am feeling like I made a mistake to let him come back but am trying to give him the opportunity to talk. He told me this morning before work that maybe if we had time after daughter's ballgame tonight, but I dont believe that he will, it will just be another excuse most likely. The control part is getting better, but Im not sure if it is sincere either. A girlfriend called the other night and asked me come over, there were several women getting together, dancing and having fun, but actually i was too tired to go but did comment that i would have liked to have went and he said well we can start having a girl's night out and a boy's night out if you want, this being a tactic to get me not to do this i think. So my answer was okay that would be great!!!! I dont know sometimes if he is controlling me, emotionally abusing me still or not. I am still soooooooo confused and feel very down on myself for maybe making a bad decision. I suppose time will tell. I dont know.

you sound like you're having conflicted feelings about all of this. on one hand, you'd like for him to change and on the other, you're afraid he won't. have you thought about putting a "deadline" on having a very detailed talk? where he has to explain every instance of "inappropriate" behavior. hearing it from others, doesn't carry the weight that hearing it from him does. xoxo pat