[Shangrala]

The truth is known that, of course we are a product of our environment, whether or not it's a good thing depends on each given situation, and those involved.
As I've aged over these years, I've noticed more of my parent's traits emerging from me..most good, other's not, though I try to focus on the good, regardless.

What positive I've learned from my mom the most is the art of diplomacy, and the honor in honesty, (though that took me years to obtain).
I've inherited her artistic skills, which I've found great pleasure in.
The negative of her's that's seeped into me is the occasional "doom" thinking, which I'm so working on removing. I dunno. It makes me wonder...IS depression inherited? Her view of herself was very depressing, even though she attempted to project into us kids the contrary...how, true value comes from within. Her beliefs and actions, (toward her own self), spoke much more loudly, though.
Mom had only one sister. She had a horrible childhood and was forced to be the adult of the family. Growing up during the depression only compounded her miseries.
Her dad was an alcoholic and her mom was a pathological liar. We never met her dad, and only met her mom twice, (both times not very pleasant..for any of us).

What positive I've learned from my dad the most is how physical activity maintains a healthy body, and playfulness nurtures a youthful spirit. That one is never too old to behave young at heart, yet to maintain a reasonable balance of the two. He's taught me that the true value in life is the bondings made with others, and not the materialistic aspect.
The negative of his is influence, i think, is the avoidance of what's personally unpleasant. To tuck it away....deep.
Dad was an only child and was seldom alone. He was somewhat spoiled..lol. He had a good childhood. Both parents were devoted to a sound family structure. Despite that they resided in another state, they both spent as much time with us kids as they could. They were terrific Grandparents.

Between the both of my parents, I think they did a great job teaching all us kids the value in respecting privacy and to realize AND acknowledge our individualism, (which I'm sure later came back to bite them due to how much I truly did practice my own individualism).

Any inherited traits you'd like to share?

Shangrala

Thank you for sharing, Shangrala. I found this article interesting:http://news.softpedia.com/news/Our-P...rs-28413.shtml

Too, "A long-term child development study shows that by three years old, it is possible to predict the adult he or she will become." Others opine that the influence of peers on personality is greater than that of parents.

What I thank my parents for is instilling in me the importance of honesty, a work ethic, compassion and perseverance. They also showed me that there are many bumps in the road. They did what they had to do and moved on.

I did not learn as quickly as I might have; nonetheless, I am still learning.

[Shangrala]

Originally Posted by TheByzantine

Thank you for sharing, Shangrala. I found this article interesting:http://news.softpedia.com/news/Our-P...rs-28413.shtml

Too, "A long-term child development study shows that by three years old, it is possible to predict the adult he or she will become." Others opine that the influence of peers on personality is greater than that of parents.

What I thank my parents for is instilling in me the importance of honesty, a work ethic, compassion and perseverance. They also showed me that there are many bumps in the road. They did what they had to do and moved on.

I did not learn as quickly as I might have; nonetheless, I am still learning.

Thanks for the article, Byz~
Quite interesting..

I have to agree that the development of who we are is due to both what we've inherited and what experiences we encounter. It only makes sense since we are constantly learning and adapting/discarding behaviors...?

Thanks again, Byz.

[salukigirl]

I completely agree with the statement that depression is "inherited". Its pretty obvious to others whether we respect ourselves or how we feel about ourselves. Just in body language, tone and choice of words, we portray how we feel about ourselves. So I think that if you watch a parent give off that aura your whole life combined with the fact that it really is a chemical imbalance, yes I believe it's inherited.

As with other traits from parents - it seems like we either follow the same path or do the opposite. A young boy watching his father verbally abuse his mother might think that's okay or might hate it and never talk that way to a woman. Mine has gone the opposite. I watched my parents fight and scream so I avoid confrontation if possible. I would rather go in the bathroom and cry alone than get into a fight with someone I care about. Which is good because I don't fight a lot, but also bad because I realize that it has made me a doormat to others. The best is to find a happy medium - whether that exists or not, I'm not sure.

[Shangrala]

Originally Posted by salukigirl

I completely agree with the statement that depression is "inherited". Its pretty obvious to others whether we respect ourselves or how we feel about ourselves. Just in body language, tone and choice of words, we portray how we feel about ourselves. So I think that if you watch a parent give off that aura your whole life combined with the fact that it really is a chemical imbalance, yes I believe it's inherited.

As with other traits from parents - it seems like we either follow the same path or do the opposite. A young boy watching his father verbally abuse his mother might think that's okay or might hate it and never talk that way to a woman. Mine has gone the opposite. I watched my parents fight and scream so I avoid confrontation if possible. I would rather go in the bathroom and cry alone than get into a fight with someone I care about. Which is good because I don't fight a lot, but also bad because I realize that it has made me a doormat to others. The best is to find a happy medium - whether that exists or not, I'm not sure.

I agree, Sal. It's an either/or direction that the child goes.

LOL....Even though my parents had 10 kids, neither of them EVER expressed affection toward eachother. There were no "I love you's", absolutely NO touching eachother...not even hugs. No physical signs of love for eachother whatsoever. It made us kids wonder, "how the hell did they find time to make more of us kids?"...lol.
They projected to us kids that mutual affection was simply non-existent. Needless to say, during my upbringing any questions I had regarding anything pertaining to affection was found outside of the home. It forced me to seek and find for myself, (with many disastrous results, I might add).

Once out of house (in my mid-teens), and discovering what I had on my own, I decided that my life wasn't going to be hidden like my parent's was.
Once I began my own family, I saw to it that my kids received as much affection and support they could ever need. My loss was their gain...especially for my daughter. There was NO way that I want her to have to find out what it's about on her own.

Eventually, once into my adulthood, I was the one who "broke the ice" among my siblings to express the fact that it is perfectly okay to say "I love you". Sure, it was awkward at first. Some of my siblings took a while to be responsive to that, but with time, it spread among us. Now....whether or not THEY believe in what the words REALLY mean is anyone's guess. All I know is that it's how I feel. Them following suit is their choice.
I know what it means to me and that's all that matters.

Shangrala