[adamsgirl]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years a few weeks ago and I have never in my life experienced such pain. I have had breakups before, but it has never been like this. I don't even know if this is normal or if I should see my doc. Maybe it was because of the way things ended. I just don't know. But it hurts like hell. Does it get any easier?

[cantstopcrying]

I wish I could tell you. It's different for everyone and there is no "normal." You spent a long time together, you can't expect the pain to go away quickly. Love is not like a faucet, you can't just turn it on and off. You may have intellectually broken up--your mind knows it and it may be the best thing--but it doesn't mean your heart is ok with it so soon. Absolutely see your doctor if you are feeling suicidal or having self-harm thoughts, including using or not using food. Otherwise, give yourself some time. Eventually you will heal, you will not forget, and the twinge may stay, but you will heal....remember self care---the best way to healing.

[marjan]

time is the best healer kiddo....wait....you will feel better each day....

[lynn P.]

Since it's only been 2 weeks, you need to give yourself more time. It's very normal to go through a mourning period and it's different for everyone. Like the 1st poster said "love isn't like a faucet, you can just turn off". You'll also be going through many different emotions and it will feel like the waves of the ocean -some days thrashing and other days calm. I found one thing that helped me, was knowing that everything happens for a reason and I need to learn the life lesson from this experience. Maybe God has someone better in mind for you. Another thing that helped me was just accepting the pain but not letting it consume me though. Try to keep yourself busy and surround yourself with nice, understanding people. I hope you feel better.

[mlpHolmes]

I didn't know it at the time. But I didn't love myself for my inner qualities while going w/ my boyfriend. Our relationship was great for 3 yrs. then he decided to break up, I was devastated & could not understand. I went into a hell that was a horror. I was great when I had his love, & nothing w/ out him. Plz don't make the mistake I did. Living your life through another person.
I am my own person now!

After a lot of hard work- learning skills we offer here CBT & DBT, therapy, (I thank God for my wonderful therapists! ) meds, and time I made it!
I can be truly happy by myself, I don't *need* a guy or anyone else.
It's good now, it's all good!

With Much Love,
Holmes

[cantstopcrying]

Oh Lord, holmes, I can so relate....though you know I'm still working on the DBT part! Adamsgirl, realize that you are your own girl, you will hurt, but you will heal. I wish you peace.

[mlpHolmes]

I LOVE YOU "CAN"!!


The first time I met You, "Can"
my World Became a more Beautiful Place!

Holmes

[Tamale]

You asked, "does it get any easier" ?

I'm going to answer yes. When I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, I had already spent the last year of our relationship mourning the fact that it was going terribly. I had done some things that hurt him and were not in keeping with my own morals, and it was time to let go. I cried a lot, and I felt very guilty a lot (I was also the one who did the breaking up). I decided to be patient with myself, and it got better. It's been about 3 years since then and sometimes I still feel weird about it, but I am my own person and have a great relationship that is better because of what I learned from the first one.

Yes, it does get better. Until then, (((((adamsgirl)))))