[youOme]

This guy at work keeps asking me for sex. I work at a hotel. He keeps saying **** like "we can go on the second floor, you should let me hit that". I keep telling him no..over and over. Then today he tried to get me to go into the stairwell with him. I'm not sure what he wanted to do, but I told him no and walked away. It's really starting to get on my damn nerves. I can't even go to work and not get hassled...seriously, why do men do that ****?

AND don't think I am leading him on. I'm NOT. I work on the second floor of the building 90% of the time, and hardly talk to him. I'm trying not to be rude to him, so I do laugh at him alot....could that be it?

I need help, this is making the first job I have ever liked into pure hell.

[AAAAA]

If you feel comfortable doing so, the next time he makes a comment like that don't laugh tell him that he's making you feel uncomfortable. If you are unable to do this, approach your supervisor and let him/her know what's going on. There's a term for this behavior and it's called sexual harassment.

[youOme]

Yeah, when I mentioned this to my Mom and other people they just said to report him. I definitley don't want to do that. That will just cause a butt load of drama at work. Since I am the newest, I'm pretty sure they will hate me for it.

I need to know what to say... how to act.. how to be firm.

Not to mention, this guy has a wife who just had a baby. And today when he was mackin' on me.... his kid was there. Yeah...messed up. I even said something along the lines of "don't you have a woman"...and he was like "so".

He a pig.

[bebop]

simply tell him if it does not stop you will go to the boss and file formal harrassement charges. by law they have to do something about it.

[JayS]

I would try and catch him saying these things on tape, then show it to the boss.

[AAAAA]

Under those conditions the next time you see him I would ignore him. If he doesn't get the hint, and I mean quickly I would report him. Certainly your not the first, nor the last, person he's harassed.

[ZilchHour]

Yes recording some evidence is a good idea, as you are new there, some proof will support your cause just in case!

Good luck with the job.

[StarTrekker]

What he has done is already sexual harrassment. I know that in these times, a job is valuable. You can handle this without getting the boss involved(which would be fun) or you can just go straight to the boss. This guy has p*ssed you off and invalidated your right to be a woman. So, you get creative. The next time you see he's got his eye on you and starts talking nasty, just pass gass or something, and say something like, "That's what I think of your offer." Or, write him a note that says, "If you say those thingsto me again, I'm going to the Boss." With folks like him, often the threat of being outted shuts them up.

[lynn P.]

I agree don't try to laugh it off. Tell your boss that you would like him warned - and if it doesn't stop launch a formal complaint. This sounds like it could be dangerous and don't even talk to him anymore. If he tries to, kick him where it hurts.

[SWA 1971]

Oh, my! That's sick. I'm so sorry. If you can't talk to him & tell him to stop, I would say go to your boss. This man needs to be stopped! Please keep us updated, if you're comfortable.

[youOme]

well, today i completely ignored him and he left me alone all day...which was great. that don't mean he will be better tomorrow.. but, i'll just keep up the atitutude. also, i applied at another job today, and they called me back immediately for a job interview. so i probably wont have to go to that crap job much longer... whew, i am relieved.

[marjan]

Originally Posted by youOme

AND don't think I am leading him on. I'm NOT. I work on the second floor of the building 90% of the time, and hardly talk to him. I'm trying not to be rude to him, so I do laugh at him alot....could that be it?

I need help, this is making the first job I have ever liked into pure hell.

well...I think you got to stop laughing at him...that gives him mix messages....and if you feel harassed, you can tell your supervisor....and ignore him....don't even say hi to him anymore...he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve any kind of attention....good luck....and don't let him to make your work hell....he's nobody...nobody...and he can't do anything....just ignore him and he will vanish!

[NuckingFutz]

Um, I am really sorry that you are being sexually harrassed. You said that you were looking for a new job and you would be relieved. Here is the question...in your current job, were you told why the last person left? Maybe they were being harrassed and gave a false reason? If you leave your present job without filing a formal complaint, you leave open a door to hell for the next person to deal with. The harasser gets the message that it is okay to harass women because no one turns him in. Gives him more confidence to continue. I do not envy the person who takes your place if you do not do something to stop him. If not you, who?

[youOme]

i didn't think of it that way nucking..

yeah, the last girl just stopped showing up.. and she was young like me.

see, i am the youngest there, the other women are older then me and him.

i would feel bad if another girl had to deal with his crap. Maybe she will be stronger and shoot his *** down before it gets bad.... or she could be weaker. that's a scary thought..

i feel i should do something.

[NuckingFutz]

Yes, this guy needs to be stopped. But I have learned something from these kinds of situations. A lot of times when a girl is harrassed she will talk about it and then suddenly say "it is my fault". I always that they meant the rape/and or harrassment. This didn't make sense because no one asks to be raped or harassed. I now realise that what they must have meant was that if they didn't turn the criminal in, he is now free to rape /harass again. Makes sense that they would feel guilty because they could have put a stop to him and all the other girls would not have had to be traumatized like this. That sure is a heavy burden to carry around for the rest of one's life. That is definately insentive to do the right thing for sure.

i think you should tell him that if he ever says or does anything like this again you will report him for sexual harassment. hopefully, that will shut him up. then, ignore and avoid him and if he does do anything again after warning him then definitely tell your boss and report him. don't make an empty threat to report him though. you have to follow thru. personally, i'd just go ahead and report him now.

if you like your job otherwise then i think it would be better to deal with this than to run away. what nf said is very true. he will continue to do this if he isn't stopped. he needs to know this isn't acceptable behavior. i am really sorry you are the one who has to deal with this but yeah better you than some poor girl who doesn't have any boundaries at all and gets molested.

[marjan]

Originally Posted by bloom3

i think you should tell him that if he ever says or does anything like this again you will report him for sexual harassment. hopefully, that will shut him up. then, ignore and avoid him and if he does do anything again after warning him then definitely tell your boss and report him. don't make an empty threat to report him though. you have to follow thru. personally, i'd just go ahead and report him now.

if you like your job otherwise then i think it would be better to deal with this than to run away. what nf said is very true. he will continue to do this if he isn't stopped. he needs to know this isn't acceptable behavior. i am really sorry you are the one who has to deal with this but yeah better you than some poor girl who doesn't have any boundaries at all and gets molested.

Sorry, but I disagree with you bloom3. I think she should file a complain and not talk to him directly....It's safer....I'm sure he does that with others too....then he doesn't know who has complained about him and he will behave well....
good luck girl and be brave....he's nobody....plus....escaping from the situation won't help....what if you find another job and another A.H. makes your life miserable there....so, it's better to learn how to deal with this kind of situations.....

[lynn P.]

That's great that you might get another job, but please report him anyway. The reason I say this is, you'll be doing future women who work there a favour. This guy needs a record or else he'll keep trying to take advantage of women, again and again, until he finds a weak one. Good for you for ignoring him.

[Bias Logic]

I completely agree. This is like an open and shut case on sexual harassment. Just go to the proper channels and get this guy nabbed, because as lynn p. said, even if you don't end up working there, he still needs to be stopped preemptively. Don't say anything to him and just tell your boss. If your boss doesn't want to comply, I'm fairly sure he/she can get in some huge trouble.

Yea, this is even coming from a guy, don't let this douche get away with this.

[VickiesPath]

In every state of this country, in every city, this kind of behavior is illegal. Do you have a small voice recorder? The next time he approaches you, record it. Do not laugh or make light of it and tell him firmly "NO" and to get lost. Then tell him that you are going to the boss with the recording and if he says one more word about this, you will also go to his wife (or girlfriend or whoever she is) and give her a copy of the recording. This is no game. This is illegal and is a violation of your rights as a woman and as an employee and as a citizen.

For your sake, I do hope that you get the other job. I am not going to give you false hopes. In my work in the government many years ago, we successfully saw many people prosecuted for this crime but the fallout was also real. It's gotten better but it hasn't disappeared completely.

Stay strong and stand up for yourself. Hugs to you and keep us posted.

[youOme]

I was hoping to get a clean break from this job and this dude who keeps bothering me, but unfortunatley, I didn't get the other job. I was hired on the spot, then the manager called back and apologized for the mistake.... soooo, I am stuck at the hotel for now. I can't afford to quit because of this guy. I definitley have to take action against him. Like I said last post though, he didn't bother me last time I was at work. But I've had a day off now.... so we'll see what happens. If he leaves me alone from this point on, I won't pursue nothing. But if he starts something again.... I'm definitley going to the manager. Shoo, the manager doesn't like this guy anyway... so that'll probably be the last straw for him. Good riddance though. I feel for his kids and wife, but he asked for it.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me. When I worked at a very well known grocery store, night stock...nothing but a handful of men and me... I was harressed. They had come up with an inapropriate nickname for me. I tolerated the name for like 2 months.... then snapped on all of them. It was dropped after that.

I can't tolerate it for that long again... I almost quit last time, but I can't afford it this time.

I just don't understand why people act that way to begin with... what in their minds make them think it's okay to belittle others for their own twisted pleasure.... I could never treat people this way.

[bebop]

as long as no women speak up and complain about this person he is going to continue to harrass women. there are strict laws about it. companies and the person can be sued over it. I don't think you should quit your job. go to the boss and let them know how this guy is treating you.

[A_Long_ways]

I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say this guy sounds like a real piece of you know what. You shouldn't have to put up with stuff like that just trying to get through the day. I hope he gets what's coming and is promptly fired from the job.